Heya Dade...
When first I read your original post I couldn't tell whether you were male or female and it didn't really matter...I was just attempting to be objective given your pretty agitated state over this new employee.
And yes, I am very Venusian, although I thought I interjected a bit of Martian logic now and then!
Now, back to your original dilemma....have things improved any at all in the last few days? As you said, some new employees adapt easier to new situations than others and maybe New Girl is having a harder time than most. Sometimes, starting a new job can leave us feeling out of place, intimidated, overwhelmed, stressed, excited, tongue tied and even a bit scared. We have high expectations of ourselves and know that our new employer has high expectations of us as well. In trying to fit in, I have seen a lot of new employees give off a variety of interesting initial vibes that later didn't reflect what that person was/is really like. I've seen some overly gregarious, over confident, under confident, incredibly shy, try very hard to make everyone like them ask a ton of questions that they probably already know the answers to, schmooze up to the boss (especially if the boss was the one who hired this person). In short, they really do want to fit in, but are clueless how to go about it in an alien environment. Does that make sense?
That may be all good and true you say...but what about right now while she is still driving me nutso? I don't know how your work is set up or how your departments are divided or the proximity of your physical self to her. First...does she have a mentor that is teaching her the ropes? Sometimes that helps to reel in some of her floundering. If you have an office door you can close to work, do that for awhile. If you are in a cubicle situation, check and see if there is another cubicle that either she or you could move to that puts more distance between you, if it is open space where the employees move freely about in the course of their day, you could elect to spend your moving about in the opposite direction of hers. If all else fails, you could even try to do what I might try. Give a shot at befriending her.
Personally introduce yourself to her, even though that may have been done on her first day. If she hasn't remembered your name, she will probably appreciate that. If time allows, as her a few work related things about herself. Where she came from, what her last job was, what made her want to come to work for your company....that kind of thing. It might break the ice...or the icy cool (I think you called it "too righteous") attitude that she presents. After you have made the effort, she may come in one morning and say "Hi, Dade County"
It's worth a shot. We can choose our friends, but we can't always choose our co-workers. Be the bigger person here and as a veteran employee, try to treat her the same way you would like to be treated were you in her same shoes. Does that help any at all?
Panzaaaade 
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