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Tue 20 Dec, 2016 03:03 pm
Hi...I developed a crush on this girl back I highschool... I befriended her to get over what I thought was a girl crush and instead we grew very fond of each other. Overtime we became best friends after completing highschool but there was something else. I began to develop feelings for her...One day we were chatting then she asked what kind of love I felt for her and I stupidly answered the sister kind. I was too embarrassed to express my true feelings because I thought it was going to ruin our friendship and the fact that we would be confirming the rumuors that were flying around when we were in high school that she and me were a thing...only for her to tell me that she felt some different kind of love.(not the friend's kind)...I didn't realize how much I had hurt her then...Shortly after she told me she was dating this girl who she refused to give me details just but the first letter of her name...I do not know whether the move was meant to make me jealous or she was trying to heal. She also demanded that every time I texted her, I should write siz after the words 'I love you'. Even though my aim was not to bring a rift between us..a rift surely developed...We began to have ego issues...we started arguing over stupid things... Till date we still friends...I don't know whether we are still bffs:I would like to think so..We have never met again since highschool but we talk over the phone. Its been 3years now and my feelings for her have not faded...she now has a boyfriend.. And maybe am too proud to admit that am jealous but all the same I keep convincing myself since she seems happy,am happy for her.... I can't get past her...and at times I think her feelings for me are still there...maybe it's all my fantasy...we are supposed to meet come next year and I really don't know how I will react when a see her...we still have the 'I love you' thing without the siz after the goodnights. If I were to give her a title, it would be the love of my life. She has made me affirm the fact that i am gay.I am really stuck please help me on what to do.
There are lots of kinds of love. And a year is a long time. It sounds like she is exploring and finding out about herself.
I recommend that you not put yourself on ice or expect her to be the same person when you meet. Time does that to people.
@Anonymous254,
Hi Anonymouse254. Yeah I fully understand how you feel. I was reluctant to admit my own sexuality at high school, but like you I had wild crushes on other girls. In the end another girl told me that she thought I must be gay, because I never dated or chatted to any of the boys and although I didn't realize it I discovered she had a mad crush on me. After that we enjoyed an intimate relationship but when we left school we both went to different universities. That's we diverted. I joined a lesbian students organization and she got entangled with guys. We kept in touch but after we both graduated I found out that she was living with this guy called Greg. I was completely devastated because I always harbored hidden feelings we would get back together again. So I realize just how hard it can be. My advice to you now, if you haven't done so already, is to Come Out fully and look out for another girl you can really love. Laura
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