Any advice to calm down?

Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2016 09:07 pm
@Skeleton ,
I think I've noticed that you write well. Use it (maybe you already are going there.)
Adds, you can draw!

I'm a now a oldish woman who never took art in high school or my free (sigh, back then some good universities were free) years at university - but all that time I did like art, starting with what I saw in stores' windows.

Later, I studied painting at night school, a kind of blooming.
I hope you learn to appreciate yourself more and more.

Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2016 09:36 pm
I may end up disagreeing with you strongly on this or that, still hope you talk.
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Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2016 02:25 am
That sounds like a good idea. I'd like to draw something I could sell. Right now though it feels like a hobby. I'm working to perfect my style all the time, I'm hoping an opportunity will inspire me to make something and apply it for business. I don't approach things easy, it takes time to come out of my comfort spot.
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Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2016 08:15 am
@Skeleton ,
Skeleton wrote:

it's just a difficult thing for me to do. I've spent my whole life being mostly silent and bottling my emotions, not even my parents ever sat me down to talk about how I felt, about anything.

I know exactly what you're writing about here.

For me, I wish therapy was writing not talking. I get overly nervous on many therapy days (not even overly thinking about going into the day's session) but weary and anxious that I'm frustrating and maybe even wasting my therapist's time because a lot of awkward silence is happening in many sessions because I still can't verbalize much of my feelings and thoughts and concerns and issues.

I often blame it on being overwhelmed by my tinnitus.

I often force myself to say inane things like listing what I did the prior week socially in order to say ANYTHING and to avoid the awkward silences of my own making.

I hide my feelings on instinct. That's why I vent online.

That's why I personally taken to the internet like a school of fish in a safe coral reef. The internet is both my savior and my social and emotional crutch/drug of choice.

Sometimes you have to force yourself to spit out these feelings and hope that one day it will come as second nature.
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2016 08:28 am
I feel everything you're saying, man. I feel like you're someone I'd have a beer with. I have tinnitus too, but I guess I can say it's grown on me to the point where it's normal. That's one thing about me that I can say might possibly save me if I tried, the fact that I'm so easy to adjust. Maybe if I got the chance to break the ice and have a first therapy session, just maybe I'd feel more comfortable expressing myself.
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