Just rummaging through my thoughts here...apropos of nothing...and of course, waaaaay off topic but,,,
Are there culinary attorneys? I mean lawyers that specialize in suing chefs for food injuries?...just wondering.
Any lawyer can take someone to court for a food-related injury, provided they can prove that said incident violated the health code. If the use of food in a personal attack was strictly vengeance-related, you would need a criminal lawyer.
yeah, like say you threw a big sausage at someone and they got hit in the head, fell down and busted open their forehead, bled all over their brand new shirt and while trying to get back up gets run over by a biker and is killed. That would need a criminal lawyer.
Wow! You guys are awesome!!! I woke up still feeling angry and mean, but then when I read your responses, I felt so much better. I am so touched that you guys are doing all this wonderful torture for me and I don't know how to thank you enough :-D
Thanks you guys! You're the best!
((((Hugs))))
You're the best, Montana, never forget it.
Thanks Cav, sniff sniff :-)
Absolutely...what he said.
I suppose that shackling Montana's ex face down to a bed of nails with razor-bladed barbed wire dipped in scotch bonnet hot sauce and allowing a horny elephant to f*ck him in the a*s while a sleazy lawyer pulled out his teeth one by one with pliers, thereby diverting his attention somewhat from the stinging ants on his hands MIGHT open us up to criminal charges...
But no jury would ever convict us.
Wow, that was one of the most brutal and grotest descriptions of completely making a man's life a horrible pit of hell. Seems like you have some hidden anger about somebody who hurt you, get it off your chest...good for you!
My anger has now been diverted to my bank...I do online bill payment and the mother f**kers paid my bill 5 days late! How can I count on a bank that can't even pay my car insurance bill on time! Not to mention the dumb bitch on the phone told me that it had already been taken out of my account....oooooooo stupid f**king idots....this is not the first time something like this has happened....evil bastards....
Yea, I hate the stress provoked by late payments and then people bitching at your because you didn't pay and so forth. You know what I did though, I said, whats the worst thing that could happen to me in my entire life? I came to the conclusion that I can die. And I accepted it, so now I tell those people on the phones to just piss off and listen up, I have nothing to lose except my life, and I'm cool with that, obviously not something I want to do, but hey, if it happens it happens, I can't controll everything. So everybody should just piss off and get into place....but Kristie, I share your frustration in the entire money venture....bunch of f*ckers!
Just makes me so mad...I mean, I work my ass off for that money and they just toss it around.....grrrr....and those people on the phone...I am extremely nice to them because they didn't do anything to me but when they start to get snotty I get pissed. Who do they think they are? This girl gets an attitude with me and I should have asked how she would feel if they were paying HER bills late? Dumb broad. I can't wait to go into my branch and let them have it.
You know what else I hate? Sales girls. Not sales people because men don't do what the women do. Sales girls hover and bug you.
Sales Girl #1- "That is SUCH a cute skirt! I wanted to get it but..." blah blah blah...
*I run to another section of the store.*
Sales Girl #2 - "can I help you with anything? We have some shoes that would go just perfect with that shirt!"
*I nod politly and say no thanks....just looking and high tail it our of that section.*
Sales Girl #1 - "So, did you want to try that on? I can start a dressing room for you?"
*I nod and hand her my items and say thanks......go away...*
Sales Girl #2 - "Still ok over here?"
*By now wanting to hit Sales Girls...move to dressing room *
Ok now in the dressing room, wearing nothing but underware and there is a knock at the door....no, I don't need anything else. I just want to try on what I have! The mirror inside the dressing room sucks and you can't tell if the jeans you have on fit right or if the colors match right (light sucks) and you know that the best light and mirror is the one out in front of the entire store so you peek out your door and the coast is clear so you bust a move out to the 3-way mirror and....there she is......
"Those are so cute!!" And somehow, even though you look like a stuffed pig in those jeans, you wind up walking out with them because they were "the right kind of tight". *sigh* And when you get home, you try them on feeling all sexy and damn it....they just don't look the same......and you hate them and then they never get the tag removed because some bitch at the department store lied to you about how great your ass looked in a pair of jeans that were 2 sizes to small.
Because of some stupid sales girl I have to take these shoes back and I hate returning stuff. Such a pain in my ass. They don't look right....just don't. I came in and said I have an Audrey Hepburn type dress, all black, strapless, comes to mid-calf. I want round toe heels. She said I should get the light pink shoes and then get matching accessories. Said don't wear black or you'll look like you are going to a funeral....I said, won't that look like "hi! here are my pink shoes!" and she said no.....she had been a fashion major.....bullshit. All I can see is those damn pink shoes. So not right. Grrr....
How about if we have Montana's ex come over to my house and I'll talk to him about property taxes for 6 hours.
Would that be sufficient?
furiousflee wrote: Wow, that was one of the most brutal and grotest descriptions of completely making a man's life a horrible pit of hell. Seems like you have some hidden anger about somebody who hurt you, get it off your chest...good for you!
You don't understand...this is MONTANA we're talkin' about! Somebody puts HER through hell, I say shootin's too good for him!
Gus, after the elephant is finished with him, you can talk to him about taxes. And after that, I'll send over my "friend" who sells Amway....
Eva wrote:Absolutely...what he said.
I suppose that shackling Montana's ex face down to a bed of nails with razor-bladed barbed wire dipped in scotch bonnet hot sauce and allowing a horny elephant to f*ck him in the a*s while a sleazy lawyer pulled out his teeth one by one with pliers, thereby diverting his attention somewhat from the stinging ants on his hands MIGHT open us up to criminal charges...
But no jury would ever convict us.
You always say the right things and bring music to my ears, Eva ;-) Speaking of music, I've been listening to classical music lately and I think we should play some Beethoven during these enjoyable tasks, as I think it would set the mood, don't you?
Kristie
I hear ya girl, but I do have to say that I've never had much problems with sales girls. Maybe I look evil or something because they always go away and leave me alone when I tell them I'm all set.
Beethoven is too soothing and reflective. Mozart is too lyrical. I suggest J. S. Bach. It's fast-paced, choppy, nervous music. My son has been taking piano for a few months, so he's not playing very well yet. I'm sure he would butcher Bach. Shall I send him over?
Yes Eva, send him over right away. We do have a problem though. I called my ex's house twice a day all week and his wifes kids kept telling me he wasn't home. After calling again today, his wife called me back saying he wasn't living there anymore, he wasn't working, she doesn't know where he is, and she's filing for a legal seperation. This is not good at all. I never thought he'd be stupid enough to run, but I guess I was wrong (sigh)!
