Let's be honest for a minute.....

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"Anything for our kids" is a refrain I hear over and over and over.

But people rarely vote for higher taxes to improve our schools or provide health care.

They aren't willing to stay in unhappy and abusive realtionships for the kids. Sometimes they aren't even willing to stay in good relationships.

Some aren't willing to quit drinking or smoking or indulging in other harmful behaviors.

The list of "anythings" really goes on and on.

I guess thats what has me so confused about the proposed Consitutional amendment to ban gay marriage - that people say it will protect "the kids".

I got into a.... umm... disagreement with someone about this the other night.

My husband and I are raising "Mo" who spent the first year of his life in a realitively calm two parent home and the second year of his life with two parents who screamed and yelled and spit and hit at each other. He moved in with us a week before his second birthday.

Mo's mom was raised in a two parent home with a father who sexually abused her, broke both her legs for jumping on the bed and tried to drown her in the bathtub. She moved in with her grand-parents when she was eight years old.

Obviously being raised in a home with both mom and dad are not a guarantee for a happy and successful childhood.

Mr. B and I had to travel a long road to custody of Mo and probably had to jump many of the same hurdles that gay couples must jump to protect a particular kid. Believe me, nobody does it for the glory or to prove a point or out of anything other than love.

If people are really wanting to do "anything for our kids" why aren't they willing to let them be raised in a loving and committed home with people who really want the responsibility of raising the child?

Isn't that absolutely the most basic need that a child has?

Isn't that what makes a person a parent?

I understand that some people think homosexuality is amoral and abnormal. If that's why they want this ban they should just say so and quit hiding behind this tried "anything for our kids" argument.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

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Completely agreed.

I think it goes a little more towards allowing gay/lesbian couples to adopt than towards marriage per se. But agreed.

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You'll never hear me say "anything for our kids" most kids are way to spoiled and our priorities are way out. This attitude like "all about me" is scewing things up worse than anything. Get learned up on the echo boomer kids - you think things are messy now.

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Hi Soz.

It seems that every single thing I read in support of this ban is "for our kids".

In my opinion that's just a flat out lie.

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"Marriage is between and man and a woman" is so small minded, it boggles my mind to hear it from both sides. What's in a word? Some people marry and divorce in the same week. Some people marry, have children, then divorce. Some people marry and cheat on their spouses. Some people marry more than one spouse. Some people marry, and kill their spouse. What's the big deal with "marriage?"

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Oh I have been reading about the echo boomers, husker. Newsweek just ran a feature story on "How To Say No To Your Kids" for heaven's sake.

It is an unloaded word, c.i., you're right, it is essentially meaningless and doesn't need "protection".

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just cause 2 people know how to have sex and have a kid does not automatically qualify them to have a kid - but it does 99% of the time by default.

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boomerang wrote:

Hi Soz.

It seems that every single thing I read in support of this ban is "for our kids".

In my opinion that's just a flat out lie.

I noticed that too and I think it's BS as many gay couples are already raising children without the legal protections of marriage.

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I see what you're saying.

In support of the ban, yeah, it's ultra-dumb.

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I agree with everything that has been said in this thread, the ban is as dum as dubya. Well almost anyway.

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Quote:

It seems that every single thing I read in support of this ban is "for our kids".

In my opinion that's just a flat out lie.

Unfortunately, it isn't a lie to the millions of religious bible thumpers who would question the Bush administration if there was ANY wavering on this issue. Therefore, "for our kids" rings true to them, as they interpret this to mean that homosexuals will destroy our children.

It is nothing more than the extremist pandering to the self-righteous electorate of the religious right, which wields enormous influence on the Republican party.

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Hi Free Duck, Einherjar and Dookiestix.

I have such a hard time thinking that there are really people who think a gay family is worse than no family or worse than a family that stays together and tries to destroy each other.

It drives me crazy that people think Mr. B and I are all nice and wonderful for raising this child that no one is his birth family was willing to step up to the plate for but that they would deny another child such an opportunity.

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Hi boomerang,

Having children myself, my hat is off to anyone who is willing to step up and try to do a good job raising them. And anyone who wants to enter into a legally binding relationship with another consenting adult should be free to do so. Good luck to you and Mr. B.

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I have a hard time believing that alot of these same folks also believe that the wife should be subservient and stay at home. Believe me, it gets much more puritannical than even I could ever possibly imagine.

I commend people like you who DO step up to the plate and give these kids a chance and to offer some stability in their lives, as it's obvious that our current government won't. Living in San Francisco, we are ALL color blind AND gender blind, and it's a beautiful thing.

I also have LOTS of relatives in Portland, Oregon, another bastion of liberal, progressive thinking, and the home of Ed Shultz on Air America Radio, who I listen to religiously everyday.

Beautiful town. We may consider living there soon.

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Thank you for your good wishes.

The real thing is though - Mr. B. and I are just normal people caught up in extraordinary circumstances. There really isn't any difference between us and all the grandparents and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and adoptive parents and foster parents be they gay, straight or somewhere in between, raising other people's kids. I'm not sure of the statistics but I'll wager it numbers in millions of kids living with people not their birth parents.

And I'll wager that most of these kids are doing just fine.

I am dying to see someone present an argument for this ban that does not rely on hiding behind kids.

I suppose they don't have any other argument that doesn't make them sound like a bigot.

I think its time for them to come out of their closet and be honest with themselves about their reasons.

"For the kids" just doesn't fly.

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Oh yeah....

Portland is fab. I love everything about it here.

I thought Ed Shultz was in South Dakota. Is he from here? I love his show!

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A letter to the editor in my local paper pointed out something interesting today:

"A letter by Steve Edwards refers to the American College of Pediatricians. this organizations, while possessing a rather offical-sounding title, is not the organization to which the vast majority of board-certified pediatricians belong.

It was, in fact, created in 2002 to promote an agenda that includes an ultraconservative approach to a variety of medical and social issues, including abortion and parenting by gay individuals.

Our prefessional organization for upholding high standards of pediatric practice is the American Academy of Pediatrics. I am proud to belong to the academy, along with 55,000 of my collegues.

The American College of Pediatricians' view on adoption by gay couples is diametrically opposed to that espoused by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Readers who wish to read the Academy of Pediatrics' position on this issue can go to www.aap.org and type "gay adoption in the serarch field."

I went to the site and read their statement.

"Diametrically opposed" is indeed their position to the ACPs harping.

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Let's be honest for a minute.....

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