I know its long, bear with me. what do I do??

When I was fifteen I moved in with my mother who lives in Alaska. I was originally raised in a small town in southern Minnesota. I moved because I had problems with my father and his new wife, and my mother was willing to take care of me. I lived there from November to about June-ish. The day I turned 16, I lost my virginity to another student in the school I had been attending. two days later, he told me he didn't want a relationship. When I first got my Permit to drive, I was so happy! my stepdad took me out to drive on a lonely road with no traffic that lead up to mountains that held camping sites for those who enjoyed the outdoors. He started acting... strange. He had me park in a stop where no one was around and started trying to feel me up casually. I didn't push him away out of fear, but I put the truck back into gear and started driving us home, hoping that he wasn't really trying anything and that maybe I was overreacting. When he got back, he kissed me. No. He full on SHOVED his tongue down my throat. Then my mom came home and I kept quiet out of the terror that she wouldn't believe me. i knew my mom. She was the type to never believe such an accusation. So I let it be. My gay best friend, Avery, told me that I had to tell my mom. I swore to him that the next time it happened I would. But thank God, the next time never came, partially because of what I chose. My mom was having fights with my stepdad about money, and she wanted to be on her own, so she moved me and my brother into an apartment closer to town. I had fun, was hanging out with Avery outside of school more, and did normal teenage things. I even tried convincing myself that I had imagined the whole thing. Then one day I met this 21 year old guy who was the typical druggy dude with the charm. I thought it was hot. He's not very important, but it ties the story together. Well, one day me and my mom went to the house that my stepdad still owned for a family dinner. I guess they had been trying to work things out. I saw them out by the grill, laughing and kissing, and my whole life was rattled with the fear of moving back into the house with him and losing everything that I had achieved at the apartment. Hell no. I wasn't going to let that happen. I was a sixteen year old girl and I could take care of myself if I had to, and that wasn't me boasting. It's honest. I've always been a little more mature than my piers and hung around older people because they had the same mentality as me. I messaged avery and the guy we had met and told them I needed to leave. When I was back at the apartment that night, I quietly took off the screen on the window and opened it gradually. At one AM, I opened it all the way and dropped my shoes on the ground. I swear it was the loudest thing I had ever heard and my heart was pounding so loud. So many things could have gone wrong that night, but they didn't. I had packed a bag but in the heat of the moment left it, and had only the clothes on my back and $25 to get my head start as a runaway. Avery got a friend to give us a ride to where the guy was, and we spent life for the next couple days having fun and partying, but I was still smart enough never to get found. things fell out with the guy but it was Ok. I was staying at a shelter for a few days and finding another place to hide out. One day, late at night I was drunk and at taco bell with avery. I met this dude and told him to find me on facebook and message me. the next day I was in his apartment and we started some fwb type thing for a while and he asked me to stay with him. Ok i need to speed up my story. well we were together a while then I ended up coming out of hiding and tried telling my mom and she didnt believe me. So i moved back down to minnesota with my grandma. then i met Hudson. He was walking down the street and for some reason, little introverted me, said hi and asked him to walk with me. He told me he was twenty one and I told him I was sixteen, but it was ok. anyways, we made plans to hang at his apartment the next day. we got stoned and things went in their own direction. By the end of the day we had slept together, made dinner, and smoked about three grams of weed just between the two of us. We hung out a few days, agreeing to stay fwb as my gma thought I had been hanging with some friends from school. One time I even spent four days at his house on an extended weekend. things were great, and we had both finally admitted to each other that we wanted something more than just friends... One monday he said he had a warrant out for his arrest cuz he missed court (for what is not relevant) and we decided to have a good night before he turned himself in for a few days. I drank so much. His friend came over, and I threw up all over the bitch. (I dont like her anymore). I got in the shower to clean off and by the time I came out, I was late for curfew on a school night with a literally insane grandmother thinking i was with some girlfriends. I said **** IT and we had sex a bunch after his friend left and I spent the night. we knew tomorrow would be ****. We were right. the cops had seen us walking around together and checked his apartment for me. Like i said, ive runaway before and had no trouble staying hidden. I could have ran that day, but i didnt want to. I accepted it. they took me to the station and arrested him. I was in so much trouble. Drug tests and aa meetings, and counceling, the whole lot. well, I had left some things at his apartment so my gma brought me to get them but refused to let me see him. She doesnt know we had been romantically involved at all btw. He came out before we left and gave me my watch and secretly slipped me the sweetest ******* love note I have ever gotten. Basically, hes gunna wait for me and stay secret with me til in 18 and can do what I want. I just secretly saw (and of course slept with) him yesterday. we have to stay down low cuz I am forbidden from ever seeing him again til I am a legal adult in exactly 559 days. I really feel something with him that isnt just the same old same old and I am not just saying it. I never tell myself I love him. i try to deny it with no luck, so I know its real. and he keeps slipping me cute things like drawing "i promise" on the inside of my watch and all that. So what are your honest opinions on all of this? Thanks for reading, hope my life is entertaining lol