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Correct Grammar and Poetic License

 
 
Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 05:01 pm
Here is something I wrote in a song and I keep thinking it is not correct grammar but if I correct it, it does not have the same inflections, accents and feel in my song.

"Red is morning, red is night
Red is cherries that are ripe."

Red are cherries that are ripe does not feel right so I have left it the way it was conceived. Something misshapen about using "are" twice in the second line.

It seems I am talking more about the singularity of the color red rather than the plurality of the cherries.


The Color Of Red
https://www.reverbnation.com/rexredmusicartist/song/26780373-the-color-of-red
 
dalehileman
 
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Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 05:26 pm
@TheCobbler,
Cob it seems fine to me
TheCobbler
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 05:57 pm
@dalehileman,
It still bothers me, I dislike being perceived as illiterate.

Like using the word drownded instead of drown. lol

Although drownded often fits a rhyme better than drown. hehe
perennialloner
 
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Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 06:03 pm
@TheCobbler,
Even if it is wrong, it's a song, not a thesis. Who cares? There are great songs that aren't grammatical.

Whether it's ungrammatical depends on you. How are you using red? If red's just a singular subject such as a person or the color, you're good. If you're being posh and using red as a subject complement but at the beginning instead of the end, then you're wrong. "Cherries are red" can only be "red are cherries."
0 Replies
 
perennialloner
 
  2  
Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 06:06 pm
@TheCobbler,
I could say "I am cherries that are ripe." It'd be a metaphor.
TheCobbler
 
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Reply Wed 12 Oct, 2016 06:48 pm
@perennialloner,
I like that, quite profound! Smile
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Oct, 2016 02:35 am
@TheCobbler,
TheCobbler wrote:

It still bothers me, I dislike being perceived as illiterate.



You'll be in good company.

Quote:
Shakespeare was criticized for mixing comedy and tragedy and failing to observe the unities of time and place prescribed by the rules of classical drama. Dryden and Johnson were among the critics claiming that he had corrupted the language with false wit, puns, and ambiguity

http://www.infoplease.com/encyclopedia/people/shakespeare-william-critical-opinion.html<br />
dalehileman
 
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Reply Thu 13 Oct, 2016 12:08 pm
@TheCobbler,
Quote:
perceived as illiterate
Not at all Cob; maybe a perfectionist but that's okay too
0 Replies
 
TheCobbler
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Mar, 2017 06:40 pm
@izzythepush,
That is a very interesting tidbit about Shakespeare.

Thomas A. Edison was considered and apathetic and unteachable student.

Excerpt:
Young "Al" Edison went to school only a few months. His teachers thought he was very slow. Afterward his mother taught him at home. He then taught himself by reading constantly and trying experiments in the basement. He never attended any technical school, college or university. In later life, he said that his mother was the person most responsible for his success.
Edison had strong opinions about education. Most schools, he believed, taught children to memorize facts, when they ought to have students observe nature and to make things with their hands. "I like the Montessori method," he said. "It teaches through play. It makes learning a pleasure. It follows the natural instincts of the human being . . . The present system casts the brain into a mold. It does not encourage original thought or reasoning."

https://www.quora.com/What-was-Thomas-Edisons-academic-life-like

Comment:
To counter that, I am glad I have many facts committed to memory including my prepositions and hundreds (maybe a thousand) of song lyrics..
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Mar, 2017 06:51 pm
@TheCobbler,
Einstein was also seen as a bit thick by his teachers.
0 Replies
 
TheCobbler
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Mar, 2017 06:51 pm
165-year-old Walt Whitman Novel Discovered
https://www.usnews.com/news/iowa/articles/2017-02-25/165-year-old-walt-whitman-novel-discovered
0 Replies
 
layman
 
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Reply Sat 11 Mar, 2017 04:47 am
@TheCobbler,
TheCobbler wrote:

I keep thinking it is not correct grammar....

"Red is morning, red is night
Red is cherries that are ripe."

It seems I am talking more about the singularity of the color red rather than the plurality of the cherries.


Right. There's nothing ungrammatical about it. In this context, your reference is obviously to the word "red," not "cherries." The correct choice would indeed be "is," not "are."
layman
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Mar, 2017 06:31 am
@layman,
Put another way, "red" is being used as a noun, here, not an adjective.
ekename
 
  0  
Reply Sat 11 Mar, 2017 07:18 am
@TheCobbler,
Become well read, pop your cherry and post all the lyrics.
0 Replies
 
TheCobbler
 
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Reply Tue 14 Mar, 2017 01:44 pm
@layman,
Thank you Layman, that makes the most sense to me and I believe you are right.

Excellent!
0 Replies
 
 

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