I'm straight, but there is a particular exception to that statement. Please help?

I don’t know how to explain it. Why him, in particular? I’ve never seen any guys as particularly attractive before. Maybe it’s his height. He’s only five feet four inches, or so. But there is plenty of other guys who are that height as well, who have never tickled my fancy. He has light blond hair and grey eyes. I can’t think of many other males who have the same combination, but those things are not the first aspects that come to mind when when I think of him. It must be his demeanor. The way he always wears hoodies and puts the hood to his face like he is cuddling a security blanket. Perhaps it is his shy personality. He doesn’t naturally use pleasantries, or hold small talk. There is probably girls who could also fit this description. But he’s a guy. I really am straight . . . yet he seems to be the exception. He does seem particularly girly in appearance, though he doesn’t act like one. I think that is it. Maybe the taboo intrigues me. He looks like a girl, but he is one. And I certainly don’t mind that he is a guy.

I met him in art class. We got talking about our political viewpoints, and I was first intrigued by his cute laugh and smile. I challenged him to a few chess games. I won . most of the time. Summer break went by, and now every time I see him at lunch he is playing chess. I seem to have sparked his interest. Now, he defeats me every time we play. That is our relationship so far. We friends, but I am attracted to him. From what I take from him, he is straight. One time though, he said “I like to tell my dad I’m gay to mess with him.” So I still like to pretend there is hope. I don’t think I should ask him directly. I’m too afraid to. I don’t want to admit I’m attracted to him. Because after all I am straight, right? He is just an exeption.