I'm Not Enjoying A2K As Much Lately

Bill is just the huggablest.

I never quite know how to respond when these discussions come up because for me there is a huge divide between rl and A2K -- at A2K, I have complete access to all communication. The Deaf community is great, and I'm happiest when I'm in the thick of it, but there are all kinds of things that give me pause as well -- it's super ultra incredibly gossipy, and I have to be very careful about what I say and who I say it to, for example.

I have a few things developing but so far haven't built up a Deaf community of friends here yet, so I have spent one of my longest periods ever stuck in the hell of lipreading. If I have enough ASL time, lipreading isn't a big deal. If I have 3.5 months of lipreading, lipreading, and more lipreading, I get a little mental. I was walking out of class with sozlet today, another mom was saying something that seemed to be a sweet story about sozlet and I would love to know what it was but it just wasn't coalescing. Usually I kinda let things flow and at some point I get a hook and I figure it out. Wasn't happening. I said by the way you know I'm deaf right, and she didn't, and so there was that unpleasant moment where the expression changes and I have to be calm and pleasant and normal to get 'em through it -- I've found that staring at them militantly and saying "you got a problem with that?" doesn't tend to facilitate communication. Heh.

Anyway, I had to do the whole effort-filled maturity thing, and I still couldn't piece it together, and the kids were going in opposite directions, and her smile was getting tighter, and I get so ****ing sick of it. Just want to have a simple conversation without the bloody effort.

So, I come here, and ahhh. There we go. Effortless. Equal playing field. Quite a nice respite, allows me to square my shoulders and venture out into some bloody effort-filled lipreading again. Because there are a lot of nice people out there and I want to meet them... and I have.

and I'm clicking with all of this as well. My 'fandom' is not so much for A2K but for a number of online communities where I've had the opportunity to work on tightening up my arguments (it's definitely not what I use A2K for) - where I've had the chance to hear opinions that I might not have been exposed to IRL - where people have shared things about their life experiences that have enriched my life experience.

It's a great big wonderful world, IRL - and the internet has added to my enjoyment of it.

We all feel our different ways. I am straightforwardly attached to awk, a2k - I like it for itself and it has been a personal ballast to me on occasion.

I gather there are and hope that there are more and more good forums, the world sure could use them in a hurry.

But where are the fun threads on a2k?

It seems to be politics, politics, politics... all the time, with some (ugh) religion thrown in. That and cats, which I like, but darn it, I don't have one. I really wish Craven would come back and astound us with his own bad self.

It makes me think that the Bear is right and we have gotten boring. Maybe we have said it all. Anyway, I think that a lot of newbies tend to come and go, whereas some others have real staying power. I try to be pleasant to newbies and have come to be very fond of some, but I don't cotton to the ones who come with an agenda.

Nimh -- I am mildly surprised that you feel strongly about being reticent about your real life, but I think there is room for everyone, whether they are like me and have met several a2kers -- here on the thread, for example Osso, Beth and Gautam, all of whom I would go out of my way to meet again --- or like you who has not met one. Certainly your "voice" is one of the most knowledgeable as "our man in Europe" and I'd like to think you will continue to offer your commentary. I enjoy reading it.

While I am friendly enough to go to some of the meets, I don't give out my identify that readily. I also doubt I am any different in real life than I am here. As O'Bill says, these outrageous opinions of mine are as often said irl as on a post.

Sozobe -- I think it is wonderful that you can feel more completely in communication with a2kers. You do so incredibly well that it is very easy to forget that you could have any difficulty at all irl, but lip-reading must be a drag.

Damn Sozobe! Sounds like you have better reason than most to like it here. I bet that is a pain in the a$$... I'm thinking like a language you can only get so fluent in and that's it. I speak barely enough Spanish to communicate with lots of hand gestures, facial expressions pantomiming and como se dice's. I love submersing myself in Spanish speaking environments, but after a while I need a break. Like that?

Nimh, you're more experienced here than I am, and I've yet to catch you in a lie. So, that's rather a relief to hear you say there are other places like this. :smile: I'll have some place to go if they ever do close, or melt down like that Abuzz everyone's always talking about. I didn't mean to over-shine... I mean we've definitely got some butt-ugly step children running around here with the gorgeous ones, but who cares about them?

Also, you sound uncomfortable with the direction the conversation's going. I don't know why. You posted a thoughtful post that encouraged others to try to do the same. Well done.

It sounds like you're getting a bit tired of the compliments too, but I'm afraid you're going to have to suffer one more: Perhaps you don't find it quite as impressive as some of us do, because you are one of the most impressive members. "Aw shucks" me if you want to but I know damn straight there can't be too many rooms you walk into and be surrounded by your intellectual equals. Just a thought… that requires no response.

Oh, and do me a favor and consider just toning back your own participation before you ever decide to pull out. We'd miss you terrible… and you don't even have an avatar I could steal… let alone put cheese on. :wink:

I discovered after an absence that A2K was like my drug of choice and I don't mean when my leg went nuts it was before that instance.

Ditto.

Well, my ditto was to OBill's post, but


same at ya, husker.

Soz, I went to Booklegger's to turn in a batch of books for review... they buy some back for resell. I tend to crumple up books by falling asleep on them... and besides, I bought them second or third hand in the first place. Anyway, there are two owners and the one I know less well gave me a deal for the books and started going on and on and I didn't get what she said, asked her to repeat as I am getting to be hard of hearing, and she started near shouting.

Gurgle.

I am at the stage where normal tone is okay if not in a noisy atmosphere as long as it doesn't go into mumble or turn aside.... Well, as you know, I need hearing aids. But I have a glimmer of your long term stress, accomodation, challenge, engagement.
Just a glimmer of the value of here for you and much more sense of the value of you for us.



Uh oh, time for a non serious post...
or, serious again,

But back to Calamity Jane. I think the girl has staying power.

....hours later, after having had dinner with friends and 2 glasses of Merlot, I'm not sure if I'll get the essence of the last 5 pages today.

Right ossobuco, I like it here - I find meeting new people fascinating,
and as Sozobe mentioned correctly, I am confident enough, that being overlooked is not bothering me, at least not initially.

My intend was, to offer some pointers why it might be not so interesting
any longer for "oldtimers" who basically feel most comfortable communicating with other longtime members as opposed to newbies. Yet, it did not imply that newbies are not welcomed or ditched - not at all ! I've gotten a quite warm welcome here

nimh, although my 9 year old thinks I'm way beyond repair, I'm not
quite as old as my avatar but you're right, I don't really have experience with american boards. At the same time, I do understand,
that one needs to protect themselves and keep their privacy. No problem here, it's just that your posting sounded a bit paranoid and neurotic -
that's all

For some reason, the spell check doesn't work with my Safari browser,
so please spare with me.

I was no stranger to internet forums before A2K, I came here looking up info on Sartre's Nausea for a homework and when I saw the forum list I knew I had to become a member, the quantity of different themes all under the same portal was incredible (at least until I found out that there are others like this from nimh).

So I became a member, and in less than two months I already have more posts than 3 years of posting on other boards, it has to do with the fact that there are many persons that I look up too in this board, many other reasons have been said in this post by other members.

At first, I found it hard to believe that the average age or active members here is over 30 (or at least that's what I think) as I was accustomed to a much lower average on music forums mostly.

I come here daily to learn and to speak my mind on a different manner than rl, it has lots to do with the language. I'd like to have a stronger relationship with a2kers but I only have 2 months here (personal information is gradually said here) and the fact that the age and cultural gap is there.

I spend too much time here on A2K, but I'm actually happy that's happening because before it was used for videogames and senseless page browsing.

I'm just happy to have found A2K.

And just in case I forgot before; a big welcome to the both of ya!

That's another thing I like about A2K, people take time to welcome new members.

Wow, CJ - I did say in my post above that my question about whether you might perhaps be a bit older than someone like me, or a newbie to boards (which I added would both, in my book, be a good thing) followed entirely from a general observation about differing attitudes towards this board, right? Not from any observation or assumption about you as a person (or even as an avatar) ... so no need to say you're not "beyond repair" or anything, I never suggested anything like that. Meanwhile, I gotta note, you did by now personally call me both neurotic and paranoid - if a warmer welcome and more interaction with old-time posters was what you were going for, you've got quite the way to try to achieve it! ;-)

Anyway, I gather from Osso that you're good people, so I'll chalk it all up to some unfortunate miscommunication or way of expressing oneself, and sign off on that note, with also a thanks to Bill for his compliments. I don't really have a problem in finding my "equals" in any room I enter ... <grins> - can't say I'm not flattered and amused by the image you evoke, but no, if anything, the opposite. Like this week I was at a workshop in Berlin and I felt mostly intimidated - all people with more impressive fields of expertise and practice - very much the junior. Makes me a bit shy about expressing myself.

Meanwhile, like Piffka, here at A2K I mostly miss the fun stuff ... I myself always revert to the political threads too. Because in some twisted turn of fate, it's apparently become my hobby, but also because that's mostly all there is (seeing how the philosophy stuff goes mostly over my head and I'm just not into word games). And it impacts my writing - I get ever more heavy-handed and pedantic in my style, pointing out fallacies, insisting on posters bringing sources and using "impact" as a verb. Bloody shame to see me head there. Occasionally I do break out and try to have some fun, but apart from Gus's many threads, there's just not that much Monty Python stuff to go round! It's either serious to the point of being dour or combative, or saccharine sweet of cosiness. We need more evil grinners! Some playful contrarians, some surreality and off-topic flippancy! Only thing the occasional poster seems to be flippant about now is other posters. Ah ... for a Hugh Jass, a Stoat or a Moondoggy ... !

or a patiodog or a Gus or a Slappy or a SCoates or a...

<shrugs>

I think Abuzz is a subtext of all of this (we've said this before.) A2K is to O'Bill as Abuzz was to you. (And thank goodness for O'Bill and JoeFX and the rest of you "new" faces.) From the moment I set foot at Abuzz, people were bemoaning the good old days, which quite possibly were as good as they were held out to be and as gone as they were said to be, but I was enjoying myself plenty. Same here.

Oh, and awe to Sozobe ... that must be quite something, that choice between the deaf community with its issues on the one hand, and the exhausting effort of communicating with the others on the other - that must be such a challenge to face on an everyday basis! I'm sure few others do the interchange as well as you, but the effort ... I can just imagine. Well, I can't, actually. Perhaps it's a little like living in another country, kinda like what Bill said? If it's something to face for all your life it would totally exasperate me I think ... again, Respect to you, as always.

Thanks. :-)

Yeah, the other country thing is a good analogy, with limitations on ever learning the language all the way. It breaks down in some ways -- if I get a good one-on-one conversation going it just flows and isn't a big deal. But it's a bit of a death of a thousand cuts in all the little things.

Ah well.

(I'm shruggy today.)

Well, but patiodog was gone for a while and Slappy dont post all that much - and no, I cant think of anyone else much in the Moondoggy tradition of Abuzz, because you're right, that is the subtext of it.

I did look back and think, well, perhaps its just because, like you said, that was the first board I got into that much, and I idealise or romanticise it - and A2K must be exactly the same for newbies here. But when Abuzz finally went down I did do a lot of browsing that week, including a lot of threads I hadnt even actually seen before, and no, it really was different. I think there were simply more posters there (regular posters I mean), so more variety; there were also a lot more 20-somethings and early 30-somethings (I'm 33 myself); and well, there was more creative mayhem going on.

You can see it back in the reasons people like A2K - they like it for its depth, its width of expertise, its many articulate, thoughtful posters. But all that - and in particular the endless political to- and fros - does make me miss the other side - its like this place got an overdeveloped left or right half of the brain or something, you know? And really, it does take itself way too seriously.

<shrugs right back atcha>

I think it's entirely possible that Abuzz was way better than A2K is or ever will be.

It's just kinda, and?