I'm Not Enjoying A2K As Much Lately

Yeah just make sure to distinguish between Gadverdamme (The "a" in "gad" sounding like the a in "after"), which is basically used for "yuk!", and Godverdomme, which is literally and still used as "God damn it!" (well, in a masochistic streak we actually say God damn me, but same thing). Its pretty strong.

Isn't A2K a wonderful learning tool?

Seriously tho, Jane ... can I ask you, are you a little older, or perhaps a relative newbie to boards, in general? (That would be a good thing, btw, in my book )

Just asking cause I've been wondering ... I mean, wait - this is gonna be a digression. I've looked around at some boards, and there's a lot of stuff to be said concerning how this virtual kind of community communication is different, and works with different rules, from irl communication. Separation of board and life, so to say :-). For example, posters often use their online personas to act out some side of themselves or explore in anonymous freedom ('s been whole thesises written on that) - and everywhere you'll find a strong emphasis on privacy. When I say, like I just did, that even while I'm making friendly acquaintances all around the board, I am quite wary about giving out my email address (let alone real-life name and/or address), I may be pretty neurotic, but neurotic in the way a whole lot of board-people are.

But here, on A2K and before that Abuzz (before meltdown), those rules seem to largely not apply. There's member meet-ups all over the place and you get reactions like Walter's, like: well, if you wanna stay in touch why dont you just give 'em your phone number. The whole concept of virtual friends being a little different from real life ones - with bleed-throughs possible but hardly self-evident - seems to be blissfully absent. And I was wondering why.

I know many A2Kers are a generation (or two) older than what you usually find on the net. And I know that many people who came to Abuzz (and have since migrated here) were first-time users ... and there's a strong sense of this simply being an extension of their real life they stumbled on. For example, I remember some big discussion some time about why people would use a screenname in the first place, or not fill in their gender or other stuff in their profile etc, with all kinds of folks saying they were exactly the same here as elsewhere. That seemed endearingly naive to me, but also kinda impatientifying. I mean, really? And if this place doesn't offer a different kind of communication than real life, then why are you here instead of out making some real-life friends?

I dunno. Board like this definitely provides a different kind of interaction and dynamic from irl exchanges for me. Which has its advantages: theres always someone to talk to, you're not entering any of the expectations involved in real-life relationships ("why didnt you call?"), you can be who and how the f*** you wanna be. But of course, you're also largely talking to yourself, there's a lotta people just venting or shouting with each other, and if A2K gets hit by a typhoon none of us will even exist anymore to the overwhelming majority of our fellow-(ex)A2Kers. Anyone who has this replace irl friendships would be a fool IMHO. But in any case, different kind of interactions, different set of rules. Well, I thought that was a "duh", anyway.

That was a good post, nimh. It's made me think about a lot of stuff. Thanks.

Damn it Nimh, will you stop harassing that poor woman already? Why don't you just tell her to go blow her head off?

i think though that this and rl has similarities

i agree there are differences too

i think this post especially what BPB is saying is like relationships in rl
ie
in real life a new relationship is all fun and cool
at first a2k for newbies is fun and cool

but in both cases after a while u get over the newness and fun and start having arguements and having to put up with the everyday grind and thats when boredom comes in
and thus unless you put in effort to be creative and have fun irl and here it will become less enjoyment

tum te tum

plus we all take wounds and offence through these arguements we have here and irl some take it personally and stop posting others have a laugh with it and feed off it...

lalala

i just occupy myself posting odd news stories..
i stay away from politics,religion and relationships mostly as it :
keeps me out of the arguements, stops me getting charged and worked up which is easily done in these volitile times, and keeps me plodding along and busy.....

nimh - 2 of the other forums I frequent have even more meet-ups than A2K - we're pikers by comparison!

Agh.


I am one of those somewhat older people who first posted on abuzz as a complete internet naif.
I suppose I still am, thousands of posts later.

I post here a lot for a combo of reasons, including the chance to express myself and connect with others at the same time. I like the range of the discussions, riffs; I like the attempt at worldwide communication; I like that no one can completely loon up the place with troll behavior. I learn things here, about poetry and potatoes and politics.

My immediate world is a little constraining:I live in a small city far from a large one, I am financially on-edge, and I don't go out at night alone because of my vision. (Please don't advise me to join a nice church group.) I have wide ranging interests and have found out I like communicating with others besides the people I meet through my work.

I do travel sometimes, hitting the old credit card, but not often enough, since I love every minute of travel, and then work it off.

I have exchanged emails with a bunch of people, and they don't natter at me constantly, or I them.

I've met several a2kers, not a weirdo among them. We don't throw email at each other either.

I suppose I agree that I could get more done if I didn't post here quite so often. But I already accomplish a lot with my days, essentially two jobs, and enjoy the connections. I don't think of a2k connections as an escape from real life, but an extension of it.

Oh, and I like Calamity J a lot.

Argh myself. Osso, no offence, I like you tremendously, but either you're drawing a total caricature of my post in the way you answer its perceived points, or I utterly failed to make myself clear.

Probably the latter, wouldnt be the first time.

On the other hand, it also wouldnt quite be the first time if people responded a tad defensively when someone raises questions about, eh, well, A2K, its nature, and us ...

In fact, theres a sense of protectiveness / defensiveness about any perceived criticism about A2K, its moderators or users that I find ever so slightly claustrophobic ... another reason to keep a li'l bit of an extra distance to the whole cosy-community thing.

Ah, well I took it that some of us heavy posters should get a real life. Didn't you say that in effect? Perhaps true that we should. I may sound defensive, I am just talking here; my previous post expressed my immediate thoughts.

On clubbiness, I don't like us to be a club that is hard to break in. I think we all will experience feeling out when people who know each other are batting posts back and forth. I remember shying away from threads on abuzz because of that... and sometimes do here. Less often as I am here longer.

Thok and Panzade in particular try to be friendly to newbies, right off the bat, on the welcome to a2k thread, bless'em.

I suppose a difference we have is that I imagine I will meet a2kers, that interests me, in concept, not that I dwell on the possibility, but it isn't closed off. I don't treat a2k much as a sounding box for my inner diary, usually, or.... I babble as much about my inner life in regular daily conversations. I am one of those that is much the same in real life as here.

Occurs to me it's possible someone may not recognize my last post as 100% humor… even if it wasn't funny... it was supposed to be.

I'll try my hand at being serious and personal for a minute (not my long suit, so bear with me).

I'm not quite as private as some, more private than others, I suppose. I have so far chosen not to meet any other A2Kers, though I no doubt will. I just kinda like the idea of it being another place, with different people. If the site closed, I'd have to figure out where you all went, because like Nimh, there's people I would miss. Or is it characters… well, in some cases it's both. :smile: I've exchanged e-mails with lots of people, though mostly incidentally, by offering that audio clip in my sig line. I've exchanged a few how-are-you's but no troubles with pestering. But then I'm not so nice of guy that I'd even play a charade about wanting to if I didn't.

The only real difference between my A2K persona and irl (took me a few to figure out what the hell an irl was ) is here I don't have to avoid taboo subjects… or feel I have to hold back some of my more outlandish opinions (and I do have a few of those). And here I don't have to worry about people losing their minds as we discuss them (Some do lose it, but I don't worry about it :wink:) I'm basically still just me… I don't know how to be anyone else and frankly I never wanted to. That's not to sound like I think I'm perfect, it just means if I think I like something better I strive to acquire it. (Like Nimh and Soz's manners or Craven's clarity)(wish me luck )

The bigger difference between A2K and rl isn't in me; it's in you fine people. It still fascinates me that I communicate daily with people from around the world. A2K has a greater membership than the town I grew up in, btw. And there was zero cultural diversity there. The level of discourse and sharpness of some of the minds here is staggering to me. I didn't know how sloppy my arguments were until I saw how some of the people here present theirs. It never dawned on me that folks from Australia, Germany, the Netherlands, etc. would be more than a little more knowledgeable about my country than myself and most everyone I know, irl. 24-7 I can read original thoughts; from minds I respect, pose questions and get answers… sometimes while drinking coffee in my underwear! Try that irl!

Since it's the first such community I've ever participated in, I find it completely unique and now consider it a form of communication/media/playground I wouldn't want to do with out. I probably fall into the category of being defensive about the forum, but only because I like it so much. I'm not the cliquey type, but I definitely have some favorite people here. Before long, I need to start getting busier again with other projects and what not, so I probably won't keep up my current level of participation much longer, but I don't think I'll ever drop out altogether. I like it too much.

Thanks, Bill.

By the way, what is an irl?

Oh ya, and Osso; don't you dare change a thing!

irl = in real life

Lol gus, In Real Life I think I'd like you just as much.

Are you sure that's not your long suit, O'Bill?

A lot of what you posted rings bells, snaps snaps, causes clicks for me.

I guess I'm just not as much of a fan as many of you seem to be, hence the point about defensiveness. But then I've never been one for fandom. I mean, I like this place fine - otherwise I wouldnt be here so much. It serves some very useful purposes, too, and there's a handful or two of people whom I'd really miss if the site were ever to go down. I'd sure as hell quickly save as many threads as I could - that much I did get attached to it.

But yeah, no, I dont think its unique on the net or something unparallelledly amazing - there's many communities like this, and that's a thing of beauty, the world is better for the net. Meanwhile, I cant help thinking this place does sometimes tend to simply take itself too bloody seriously. And all the mutual compliments are fine - a compliment is never wasted. But the place sometimes gets a bit claustrophobic yeah. A family of gorgeous children, or so the parents believe, and dont noone say otherwise.

Well, there, I agree with all you just said, O'Bill. I had just been thinking, as I figured how to rescue the rotelli with peas and spinach and cheese, er, two or is it three days old...

that I like a lot of the characters here, concocted, as I must deign to presume Gus's is, or real, like O'Bill's. You have a clear upfront character and are a pleasure to interact with. We differ politically, but I don't think you are out of your mind, and I like your energy and developed sense of self.

Ah, well, I am not thinking that Nimh argues with our pleasure here. I hope not, as one of my keen pleasures on both abuzz and here is getting to hear Nimh in both his diary form and his sense of how things are re governments interacting, and more.

I used to worry about politics threads, a hangover from abuzz, but I find many participants on lots of sides of different aisles to be literate, cogent, avid arguers. I learn from y'all all the time.

Perhaps some of the differences in approach to a forum like this depends on our present roles in life. I don't care if anybody at work sees what I post. My long time friends know me for my virtues and vast weaknesses (ask LB, who reamed me out just last week). I am either serene or complaicent, depending on one's view, in part from experiences lived, don't share the personal fun of role playing, not where I am at right now. Thus not as much a sense of separation for me...

And I imagine that I will meet some A2Ker at some point too - the possibility isnt "closed off" for me either - I never said that.

<gets into trying to explain it again, but gives up already>