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Fri 24 Jan, 2003 05:57 pm
Menu R&D
"In 1974, according to Gastronomica (Winter 2002), the U.S. Army set out to determine whether soldiers were taking their periodic meal surveys seriously. One survey mingled fictitious foods -- "funistrada," "braised trake," "buttered ermal" -- with authentic ones. Funistrada proved especially popular, trouncing eggplant, lima beans and cranberry juice.
Now, the Washington Times (Oct. 30, 2002) reports that the Defense Department is developing a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich with a shelf life of three years.
Funistrada is sounding better and better."
.... from the Winter, 2003, issue of The Wilson Quarterly
Well, funistrada is good for you. It has Vitamin T and gives you your recommended daily allowance of macadam.
Quite correct, jespah, but funistrada tends to get a little sticky during the summer months. For year-round use, I prefer buttered ermal, which I find keeps me "amazingly regular" as Horace Rumpole was wont to say of his daily intake of Chateau Thames Embankment (although I suspect the steak 'n kidney pud played a greater role in that production.) Buttered ermal certainly wins out over prunes, based on my own personal trials and tribulations.
BUTTERED ermal!?
Surely everyone uses olive oil, now?
I am giving up funistrada for Lent.....
I have always been partial to the macadam supplements...
great for the long and winding road, eh?
Braised trake, unfortunately, is not kosher, so I will not allow it in my home.
And buttered ermal goes straight to my hips!
Try to replace pork for smoked goose breast in the braised trake, and use corn oil-based margarine instead of butter, Jespah, and you will be able to have this delicious GI meal at home.
And fatless butter (fat is being replaced with deodorated paraffine oil) will help to solve an ermal problem.
Deodorated paraffine oil? Man, that just sounds nasty-tasting. But I bet it makes for fine lamp oil.
Usage of mineral oils as a substitute for fats is a figment of my imagination, a kind of funistrada of my own. But maybe it may provide some solution for people concerned with weight gain, since mineral oil does not contain either calories, or saturated fat or cholesterol, while providing fatty taste. Some taste enhancers may be used to cope with unpleasant taste of the paraffin oils, and to simulate taste of natural fat. The main obstacle to implementation of my proposal may be a strong laxative effect of the mineral oils.
Well, I suppose you could diversify, and also sell Depends[TM].
I'm sorry, Jerry.
Er, what kinda filling you got, Jerry? <Toaster strudel reference>
Sorry, Jespah, what is this trademarked Depends™ all about? This product, whatever it is, is unfamiliar to me.
steissd: Consider yourself fortunate for that, good friend!
It is an adult incontinence product, similar to products marketed under the "Huggies" or "Pampers" label for infants.
Ah, thanks for explanation, Maxsdadeo. I hope not to reach the age when I shall need these diapers for adults...
The trick is reaching the age while maintaining one's independence. Avoiding caffeine is recommended in that regard, or so I'm told.
Caeffine causes mutations in your DNA. Not a good thing, unless you want to be a mutant!
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