JOHN FORBES DUKAKIS

• September 3, 2004 | 4:55 PM ET

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JOHN FORBES DUKAKIS
It's hard to criticize John Kerry these days. Apparently, every criticism of him is unfair. At least, we're not supposed to criticize his time in Vietnam -- or even what he's said about Vietnam more recently -- because that would be a "smear" (even when the Kerry campaign admits, as it has regarding Kerry's Christmas-in-Cambodia claims, that he hasn't been telling the truth). That he served in Vietnam 35 years ago, we're told, tells us all we need to know about his character.

But what he did more recently, in testifying against his fellow soldiers and opposing the war after returning, doesn't tell us anything about his character at all, because it was a long time ago -- nearly 35 years! So we're not supposed to talk about that.

And, apparently, it's unfair to talk about his record in the Senate, as Zell Miller did Wednesday night, because, well, those Senate votes are so complicated that nobody can really understand them anyway. (You can see Chris Matthews trying -- without much success -- to make this argument here, on video.)

So what's left? His time as Michael Dukakis's Lieutenant Governor? Actually, that's off limits, too:

Kerry's decision to keep Dukakis at arm's length may be an effort to avoid a repeat of Dukakis' defeat. In the 1988 presidential race, Bush's campaign successfully painted Dukakis as a Massachusetts liberal out of touch with most of America.

But the Dukakis parallels are hard to escape. And, in fact, even some Democrats are making the comparison:

A friend of mine tracked me down a little while ago to relate a dream. He was walking through a big office that he realized was the headquarters of the Kerry campaign. He saw a door marked "Campaign Manager" and entered, to see Kerry campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill, appropriately enough, sitting behind the desk. As he drew nearer, however, the woman suddenly ripped off her Cahill mask, behind which was ... Susan Estrich, Michael Dukakis' campaign manager! At that point, he woke up screaming.

Ouch. The difference, perhaps, is that the Bush campaign isn't having to paint Kerry as out of touch -- he's doing it himself. He certainly did it in his screechy and off-key response to President Bush Friday morning. As Ann Althouse notes, Kerry's haughty and demeaning approach isn't likely to play with voters:

So, your big answer, after all of these attacks, is that you somehow "will not have" any questions. I simply will not have it. You hear that? He does not want to be questioned. He went to Vietnam, and therefore, he simply will not have any questions about whether he has the qualifications to be President. Come on, that's a roar, isn't it?

And by the way, any man who didn't volunteer to go to Vietnam who was of age at the time--all you Baby Boomer men who had student deferments or even if you served in the National Guard, I mean were in the National Guard--you were all refusing to serve.

Apparently, anyone who wasn't in a swiftboat in Cambodia somewhere in Vietnam is a traitor, or something.


And Kerry complains that people are questioning his patriotism?

Actually, from his perspective, it's worse: they're questioning his viability as a candidate. As Virginia Postrel observes:

John Kerry made Bush look even better with his petulant and rambling midnight address. What was he thinking? Doesn't Kerry have advisers to tell him not to give poorly prepared speeches that project desperation?

Apparently not. Kerry's response has been -- as in the past -- to blame his staff:

Sen. John Kerry is angry at the way his campaign has botched the attacks from the Swift boat veterans and has ordered a staff shakeup that will put former Clinton aides in top positions.

"The candidate is furious," a longtime senior Kerry adviser told the Daily News. "He knows the campaign was wrong. He wanted to go after the Swift boat attacks, but his top aides said no."

I'm reminded of the old Saturday Night Live skit involving a debate between Michael Dukakis, played by Jon Lovitz, and George H.W. Bush, played by Dana Carvey. At one point, Lovitz/Dukakis turns to the camera and says, "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!" I guess if it were remade for this election, Kerry would be turning to the camera and saying, "I can't believe my staff is losing to this guy!"

One question for voters -- among many, many others that we're apparently not supposed to be asking -- is this: If Kerry can't run a campaign, how can he run the Presidency?