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Depressed Sister due to Bad Childhood memories, Advice Please!

 
 
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 07:57 am
Just last week, my little sister who is currently battling with depression and eating disorder let me in onto a secret.

Saying that the depression and eating disorder that she's having now is mainly due to her childhood memories. She said she has been bullied in school when she was 6-12 due to her overweight issues.

And because of her weight, my parents sometimes had been harsh on her during her childhood days without the knowledge that she was bullied in school as my sister kept it to herself instead.

And because of this, she does not have any full recollection of her childhood memories

This is such that the behavior and impression that my parents gave to her at that time was to ask her to slim down or they keep talking about her weight issues.

Which lead to now, whereby my sister has a depression and eating disorder. However, my parents do not know about the things they have done in the past and now i am the only one in the family that knows about this event.

My sister asked me to keep it a secret because she didn't want our parents to regret and be hurt by what they have done a long time ago.

But i feel that the burden should be shared among the family, and i myself feel the obligation to let my parents know the truth.

In my opinion, i feel that they have the right to know about this matter. Also, I'm kind of in a Dilemma now, and it's killing me inside. Can anyone give an advice or a 3rd party opinion? Would greatly appreciate that.
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,057 • Replies: 4
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 08:21 am
@familyguy1223,
Yes, IMHO, they need to be informed about the problem. This damage may affect the rest of her life. However, they need to learn a new behavior themselves FIRST.

Also, your sister's way is clearly not working for her. She's constantly unhappy and acting fearful..and it could get worse. You recognize your responsibility and that she's in trouble emotionally. However, your parents need to understand the need to be educated about the impact of their not knowing more about eating disorders. They need not to put more pressure on her and damage her psyche. Perhaps you can find some literature or articles for them to read to get in the know about what will help. Counseling for her in this case would most likely help.
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engineer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 08:30 am
@familyguy1223,
Your family needs counseling and your parents need to know not to make them feel guilty about past actions, but to stop them from doing additional damage going forward.
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familyguy1223
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jun, 2016 05:14 am
Thank you guys for the advice! I know where to go from here on.
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anthony1312002
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Jun, 2016 11:07 am
@familyguy1223,
One of the things you could do is help her see how valuable she is in the Creator's eyes.

Note what what God gives to help the depressed

Strength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (Philippians 4:13) You can be sure that he’s ready to listen to you, for the Bible says: “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) In fact, God can hear your call for help even if you can’t put your feelings into words.—Romans 8:26, 27.
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