I had sex with a 40 year old woman when I was 14. What happened here?

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Around 2006 when I was 14 my mum had met a friend at the university she was studying at as a mature Student. This lady soon became a close friend and would occasionally come
over or would hang out with my mum socially.

The lady would sometimes come over with her children who were of a similar age as myself and I never saw her as anything other than a normal mum and a friend of my mothers.

I had occasionally over heard stories about this lady, that she had sex lots and with men a lot younger than her. I had heard she went to a night club and ended up in bed with a 17 year old.

One evening I had been out in the local town hanging out with friends. We lived in a small town so it wasn't unusual to find yourself at a friends house and drink a few beers. I received a text from my mother saying she was having some dinner at a pub in the local town and I was welcome to join or I could have a lift back with her later on. I went and met her, she was with her partner and this lady. They had all had a few to drink, as had I.

I sat down on the table opposite this lady and she began to stroke my hands and legs under the table. I didn't really know what to do. I enjoyed it, she was pretty attractive. We got a taxi home and eventually my mum and her partner went to bed. I was just talking to this lady for ages. She then kissed me removed her breasts undid my trousers and gave me a hand job! I immediately went up stairs
to my room.

About 4 months later I was now 15 this lady was over again, as there had been an award evening for there university course. Anyhow I ended up sleeping with her in my mums living room.

Now I don't feel like I had any wrong done to me. I enjoyed the experience as its every teenage boys dream to do
Something like that. However I spent years feeling guilty for my mum and I felt I had betrayed her. I also
Could not talk to anyone about my actions in fear of upsetting my mother.

I was visiting a friend recently and he had some family visiting. One of them was a 14 year old
Boy, and he seems so young yet acts like he knows the world. I was like
him and if I saw a 40 year old lady trying
It on with this boy I'd think
It was disgraceful.

Anyway just curious of people's thoughts.

Cheers.

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,241 • Replies: 16

First thing to do is find your market. Are you writing for 14 year olds, or 40 year old pedophiles? Your story needs more bulk, but you can't just pad it out here and there. You are going to need way more detail, but before you get into that, you really need to define your target audience.

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@Eddy100,

Quote:

removed her breasts

detachable, were they?

1 Reply

@Region Philbis,

You beat me to it!

Regarding the above piece of erotic fiction, a very similar thing happened to me when I was fourteen, although in my case I told her I was sixteen.

Me, paperboy, she very attractive seemingly single 37 year old who kept inviting me in for a cold drink during that sweltering summer of 1970.

I was like the proverbial rat up a drainpipe for the entire summer holidays, and it didn't do me any harm, apart from the odd twitch and a propensity to occasionally repeat myself.

It didn't do me any harm, apart from the odd twitch and a propensity to occasionally repeat myself.

Altogether now.....

"It was a hot afternoon,
Last day of June,
And the sun was a demon,
The clouds were afraid,
One-ten in the shade,
And the pavement was steaming......"

1 Reply

@Eddy100,

0 Replies

Lost me in the bar having a few at 14...
Polish that up a bit.

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@Eddy100,

Next time you are 14, stay out of bars.

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@Lordyaswas,

Lordy what a lucky fellow

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The original passage reminds me very much of the intentionally bad writing in the parodies written by by Gilbert Sorrentino, like this from his Imaginative Qualities of Actual Things:

Quote:

Psychological Background to Assist the Reader in Understanding Sheila's Character Development and Motivations.

When Sheila was an innocent ten, she masturbated in her father's sinister car outside Nathan's Famous in sordid Coney Island. Rhythmically squeezing together and relaxing her nervous thighs, she stealthily ate a hot dog the while.

The "hot dog" is a bona fide phallic symbol. Any book dealing with Erotica worth its salt will have a picture or two of some starlet (say Diana Dors or Mamie Van Doren), lips wetly gleaming,* about to surround with eager mouth the pedestrian wiener. These pictures are under the section headed "Fellatio." The reader's response should run: "Looka that, looks like she's suckin' a cock!"

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This is not a
Book I'm writing! I'm genuinely interested to
Know peoples opinion of what happened.

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You want to know what people think. If what you wrote is true, this is what I think:

You say this:

Quote:

Now I don't feel like I had any wrong done to me.

and this:

Quote:

I enjoyed the experience as its every teenage boys dream to do

This is all well and good. You were a boy either in or just out of puberty. Your sex drive and curiosity about sex were high. You enjoyed it physically because your body is designed by nature to enjoy sex. Your dick felt good. But sometimes a dream should stay a dream until you are ready to handle the reality. Otherwise the person can be left feeling mixed up about sex, relationships etc, if not worse. Now you say:

Quote:

However I spent years feeling guilty for my mum and I felt I had betrayed her. I also
Could not talk to anyone about my actions in fear of upsetting my mother.

You felt weird about what had happened. This is normal too. You were 14; she was 40. Sounds like at some level you feel it was wrong (what the woman did, not what you did), or are wondering if it was. That's one reason why people post on here about this kind of thing. For a clue about how you feel now, let's consider this...

Quote:

if I saw a 40 year old lady trying it on with this boy I'd think it was disgraceful.

You were sexually abused. It doesn't really matter whether the young victim is male or female, if they are (a) below the age of consent (b) unready emotionally to handle a sexual relationship with someone much older (c) were coerced into it by someone older and seemingly more powerful, then it's abuse. You check (a) (b) and (c). I have heard disgusting men say (of having sex with young girls), "If there's grass on the pitch..." meaning that if the girl appears physically sexually mature then it's OK. The law takes a different view, just as it does if the sexes are reversed. If a woman says, "Well, he had a boner..." that's just the same situation. That woman committed a sex crime, and in the UK could be prosecuted, jailed, and made to sign the sex offender's register. I am not saying you have got to do this, but if you feel that you have been sexually abused, you can get help. In the UK whatever your age you can call Childline in confidence and talk things over. They will not ask for details or make you go to the police. In most Western countries there are help lines you can call to get referred for counselling help. I wonder how many more boys this woman interfered with, and continues to interfere with.

2 Replies

@Tes yeux noirs,

Quote:

That woman committed a sex crime, and in the UK could be prosecuted, jailed, and made to sign the sex offender's register. I am not saying you have got to do this,

To be clear, when I wrote "I am not saying you have got to do this", what I meant by "this", is "go to the police and get her prosecuted". It's your choice.

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I wish people would take rape seriously when men are the victim (although I understand why people aren't taking this story very seriously).

A 40 year old man having sex with a 14 year old girl is rape under any circumstances. I would hope that the perpetrator see jail time for this crime. Whether the girl thinks it was a good thing or not is irrelevant, and given the guilt and shame that comes with sexual abuse, these feelings can be complicated. By an adult man having sex with 14 year old girl is abuse.

I think everyone on this thread agrees with me about this.

I also think the same thing when the genders are reversed (as they are in this story). A 40 year old woman having sex with a 14 year old boy is just as much rape, just as traumatic, and just as much of a crime.

I am not sure that everyone on this thread agrees with this last part.

1 Reply

@Tes yeux noirs,

Thank you for what you wrote Tes Yeux Noirs.

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@maxdancona,

Quote:

I think everyone on this thread agrees with me about this.

My larger post above had 3 upvotes until a few minutes ago, now it has 2, so somebody viewing this thread didn't agree, but was evidently too cowardly to say so (or why).

1 Reply

@Tes yeux noirs,

There you go Tes... Back up to three.

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It is a kind of abuse, in present day terms, even if the fourteen year old (boy or girl, max) liked it at the time. This may only be re some cultures, re history, even present history. I'm sure there are very developed stats on these social ways, or unsocial ways, whichever the perspective, however imprecise the stats.

There is the matter of brain readiness, which Tes mentioned in some other words. By legal standards now, in "the west", way out of line, for power balance and other reasons, and I agree with wondering re what more she was into (or not). Maybe she was a person who thought he was sexy cute (14 year olds can be, even if they are all worried about zits), but I don't really get it. I would be interested in the then legalities, the then moralities. I know about the accruing knowledge in communities that usage, teaching, of early adolescents by groomers but also ordinary people is wrong.

I do have an acquaintance whose first sexual experience with another person was a way older female friend of his family, staunch catholics, playing him under the dining table. I don't remember what the friend said his age was at the time, but it was somewhere circa 15/16.
I'm not quite as appalled on that one, and I should be. Maybe I think the puberty onset is a greatly vulnerable time.

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I had sex with a 40 year old woman when I was 14. What happened here?

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