Shocking Admission: Kerry Reveals He Was Never in Nam!

John Kerry is supposed to be on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show tonight. Anybody gonna watch?

KERRY ON "THE DAILY SHOW"
Daily Affirmation
by Tom Frank

For someone on John Kerry's side--or even for someone with a bit of empathy to spare--watching the candidate appear on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" last night made for a hand-wringing few minutes. Would Kerry mangle his prepared jokes? Would he come across as he had on "The Tonight Show" last November--trying to act cool but looking as if couldn't wait to ditch the leather jacket and slip into something more comfortable, like a suit and tie? The show's host might have been worried too. Stewart, despite his avowed allegiance to the Whig party, does not appear to relish the notion of another Bush presidency. Probably those least worried about the event were the only ones who mattered: young swing voters, the demographic Kerry evidently hoped to reach by going on the show.

The surprise, in the end, was that Kerry did okay. In fact, the Kerry who's reputed to be such a good "closer" has finally started to make some appearances. His performance on "The Daily Show" indicated important achievements on a number of fronts in the campaign.

For one, the sartorial choices have become more prudent. Kerry made no attempt to dress like, say, James Dean, nor did he bring his Dad-at-the-soccer-game-after-work look from the campaign trail into the television studio. He wore the kind of outfit he was probably born in: a grey suit and light-blue tie. Sure, commending Kerry for this does not suggest the highest of expectations, but, then again, he has helped to lower them.

For another, he didn't try to be funny. Back in 1988, Kerry got into trouble for repeating a joke about Vice President-elect Dan Quayle--"Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they're to shoot Quayle"--which caused a little dust-up because some reporters happened to hear him say it. Kerry probably vowed at the time never to be funny again, and he's followed through with admirable consistency. Not even ardent Kerry supporters have wasted much time suggesting otherwise.

Instead Kerry last night chose to throw his head back and laugh graciously at Stewart's jokes, as if he were actually enjoying the whole experience. (He also kept a bemused look on his face that worked reasonably well.) The comedy was left, wisely, to Stewart, and Kerry simply played along as best he could. This was a great relief, since at campaign rallies Kerry has been opening with a variety of jokes (wearily chronicled by The New York Times last Sunday) that are probably best left unmentioned in this space. Kerry apparently knew better than to bring this material across the Hudson River. All of these things indicate good decision-making going on somewhere in the campaign.

Most remarkable for Kerry was his ability to speak in a more or less comprehensible manner. He had talking points ready but didn't seem determined to drone through all 79 of them, which he might have tried a few months back--again, not a milestone in human achievement, but we're talking Kerry achievement. In fact, he wove in his talking points so casually that it sometimes took Stewart, who's no fan of on-message guests, a bit longer than normal to jump in and quash them.

Naturally Stewart did stop Kerry's campaign-blather at times, as in this exchange:

Quote:

KERRY: I have a better plan. I have a plan to put America back to work. I have a plan to provide healthcare to all Americans rather than see Americans lose it and pay more for it. We can go down a different road. You like--

STEWART: I was gonna say this. Can--can you get me on a network?

Remarkably, though, Kerry seemed to be stopping himself even before Stewart had to step in. It's often precisely when Kerry gets going on a roll with his talking points that he seems most likely suddenly to rip off his mask and reveal the delicate android circuitry underneath. Fortunately there weren't really any such moments last night.

Of course, the part of the show that had news-hounds most interested was the discussion of the controversy over Kerry's Vietnam service. Part of the point of going on the show had been for Kerry to confront the allegations put out by the less-than-aptly-named Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Kerry chose to let his host do most of the talking. When Stewart said, "I watch a lot of the cable news shows. So I understand that apparently you were never in Vietnam," Kerry responded gamely with, "That's what I understand, too. But I'm trying to find out what happened." Was Kerry upset, Stewart asked, by the controversy?

Quote:

It--it--it's disappointing because I think most Americans would like to have a much more intelligent conversation about where the country's going. And--yeah, I think that--you know, and--and, yeah, it's a little bit disappointing. But believe it or not, I've been through worse.

Was he surprised by the allegations?

Quote:

Sure I'm surprised. But surprised in a sense. But now that I begin to see the web and the network, I'm not surprised. I think--you know, it's politics. And for whatever reasons, the--I think Americans will discover it as we go forward in the next four or five weeks, George Bush doesn't wanna talk about the real issues...

And that was it. The Kerry campaign has released advertisements linking the Bush campaign to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, so Kerry is throwing his punches mainly behind the scenes. Which meant that last night Kerry could appear to be above it all--a reasonable tactic.

In the end, nothing about yesterday's appearance was particularly exciting--that is, it went well. And consider this: When the program ended, Stewart said to Kerry, "I want to thank you so much for taking time out to come to the program and to have just a normal conversation with us." Someone was thanking John Kerry for a normal conversation. A good night indeed.