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Sun 22 Aug, 2004 12:28 pm
The claim that we hear is that the gigolo spent four months in VietNam, during which time he received three purple hearts and silver and bronze stars.
The problem is that, at least in those days, you didn't just fly into Nam on a 747 from Boston and start fighting swiftboat wars. Plane flights would have taken several days and, much more likely, the guy went over on a navy ship of some sort which would have taken a couple of weeks. Then there would have been some sort of a hurry-up-and-wait kind of introduction to the country which would have used up another week or two and then there was some sort of a training course for swiftboat commanders which would have taken at least a month and probably more like a month and a half. They did not just put somebody in a swiftboat and tell him to have at it.
All of that would have left something like sixty days, tops, for an experience which included three purple hearts which are usually given for injuries which lay somebody up in the hospital for at least a month, and two combat valor medals. That, of course, isn't even counting the time needed for all the rapes, massacres, pyramids of skulls etc. etc. which the gigolo was boasting of in front of congressional committees.
Does anybody besides me see a problem with that? I mean, shouldn't the laws of mathematics, logic, and probability kick in somewhere or other in this wondrous picture?
He was stationed on a boat off the coast of Vietnam for a few years before he saw major action, and then swift boat crews were chosen from active sailors there.
How nitpicky are you going to get, here? I mean, c'mon, can't you go back to wacky Clinton theories? At least those were funny.
I suppose your 'mathematics, logic and probability' point the other way as well, towards Bush's record?
Cycloptichorn
That only adds a week or two to the picture. There's still something wrong with the math.
In fact, if there's anything this John Kerry story is starting to remind me of, it's Richard Pryor's old imitation of the army sergeant:
"Men, don't let that frighten you. Why, I was in World War II, and I killed some, and I WAS killed some..."
when I landed in Vietnam
hardly got to see Saigon
It was up the river without a paddle
self-inflicted in my first battle.
was gonna shoot myself in the ass
but I'm no dummy, I wore brass.
left the vietcong some c-rations to find
deadlier than a land-mine.
they got pissed
and nearly missed
so I waited 'round
told my boys to hold their ground
one jumped in the river and nearly drowned
I went back in very fine fiddle
saved his neck, got my medal.
now I'm running for president
If I win I'll kick out the resident.
or as maynard g krebbs once said
"Time is eternal when you're with relatives."
swolf wrote:That only adds a week or two to the picture. There's still something wrong with the math.
fuzzy math argument? That old chestnut? Get some new material.....
The way the gigolo himself described it in front of congress, I suspect this is the group of brave men you'd want to compare him to (and not the guys who fought at Iwo):
I care less about any possibly missing time periods in his Vietnam experience than the missing 20 years he spent in the Senate.
Kerry was in the Senate?
Maybe he could use his camcorder to reenact some of his "missing" days .
:wink:
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