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Girls and Ladies? How do you react to being one of the 'guys'?

 
 
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 10:56 am
This thread is a franchise reboot of a much older thread.
Girls and Ladies? How do you react to being called Ma'am?

Is this an actual issue? Do you gals take umbrage to being called guys or one of the guys? Is it a double standard that a mixed gender group usually aren't referred to ... "Hey gals!"
 
ossobuco
 
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Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:09 am
@tsarstepan,
Among my childhood friends in the Chicago area, which was really the first time I got to be around a lot of kids after school, it was common to say, c'mon you guys, lets go to the corner store (or wherever). We were all girls. That was in the fifties. So, no, it doesn't bother me in real life.

I sniffed at Dale for doing that one time on a2k, so somehow it bothers me a bit done online.

Ma'am doesn't bother me, being a grown woman.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:31 am
@ossobuco,
I always used the vague term guys to corral mixed gender groups at meetups where I'm hosting or just helping out. It only seems recently that I've noticed a small but noticeable bit of tension from the female gender of the group when the term is being used.

On the other hand, I don't mind being included in the net of "gals" when someone else is trying to get attention of a mixed gender group.
ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:33 am
@tsarstepan,
did I see the original? don't recall

in any case, guys is fine for a mixed group

don't hear maám much around here. it would be ok I guess

please don't call me hon, honey, hun, darling ... any of that **** ... it will really piss me off IRL . I can tolerate love if it seems to come from a culturally appropriate place.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:41 am
@tsarstepan,
I'll add that I don't think I've ever used the word 'gal' in print or in speech. Consider this post a 1st time.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:48 am
@ehBeth,
I'm similar. Diane calls me sweetie, she having lived in the south, and it took me a while to get over not liking it and unclench my forehead.
My mother called me honey, a good memory now. Not a word I hear or see a lot nowadays but I think I wouldn't mind it from someone I liked.
My husband called me 'Joey', still does actually, and I always liked that, but that's a nickname.
Hun, that sounds like movie waitress talk. Er, server...
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:50 am
@tsarstepan,
tsarstepan wrote:

I always used the vague term guys to corral mixed gender groups at meetups where I'm hosting or just helping out.


could you use "everyone/everybody" in that context?

hey everyone, we're ready to go into the theatre now



there's been a trend here to use "all", which feels awkward to me
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:51 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

please don't call me hon, honey, hun, darling ... any of that **** ... it will really piss me off IRL . I can tolerate love if it seems to come from a culturally appropriate place.

I can picture the weirdest scenarios sometimes.

Guy: Watchout ... honey!
Gal: [insert megaeyeroll here!] I'm not your honey!
Guy: No! A flood of honey is coming our way from that overturned tanker truck filled with processed honey that just crashed on the road!
[Both guy and gal drown in several thousand gallons of pure grade A honey because he needed to explain his exclamation. So sad....(Θ︹Θ)ს]
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:53 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

tsarstepan wrote:

I always used the vague term guys to corral mixed gender groups at meetups where I'm hosting or just helping out.


could you use "everyone/everybody" in that context?

hey everyone, we're ready to go into the theatre now

It's a matter of habit. I'll will try and work on that.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:57 am
@tsarstepan,
I did hear one guy say this to his MU group.

hey meetup folk, let's move to X now

i looked over, expecting to see a variation of the tetley tea folk

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/01/19/article-2542117-1ACC0A3E00000578-872_634x263.jpg
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 11:58 am
@tsarstepan,
made me laugh
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Feb, 2016 12:00 pm
@tsarstepan,
we're in Canada - it'd be a tanker of maple syrup Cool
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Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Feb, 2016 10:06 am
https://www.britishcouncil.org/voices-magazine/ways-saying-darling-uk

How do you say 'darling' in your language? Education UK's Ellie Buchdahl looks at the many variations of the word in British English in the run-up to Valentine's Day on 14 February.

English is the rag rug of languages. It is not elaborate, it is not tidy, its grammar twists and turns and ties itself in knots, and yet it is crammed with colourful offcuts of every other language – and this is exactly what makes it both exceptionally beautiful and thoroughly practical.

Take, for example, the word ‘darling’ – or rather, the words in the plural.

According to the University of Glasgow’s Historical Thesaurus, which went online for the first time a month ago, there are 103 ‘darlings’ in the English language, ranging from ‘bagpudding’ to ‘heart-root’ to the delectable ‘pomewater of my eye’. (See more synonyms for 'darling' at thesaurus.com)

Of course, in the multicultural hubbub that is the UK, this list is considerably longer, as people from faiths and backgrounds across the world toss the term of endearment around their day-to-day British lives.

Each ‘darling’ is a window into the type of person the speaker is, the part of the UK they live in and their cultural background – and, of course, where they are at in the relationship with the ‘darling’ they are addressing.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, let’s take a look at all the ins and outs of loves and darlings – the British English way.

Friendly darlings

Sweetie, love, hun, darl

In parts of the UK, epithets such as ‘love’, ‘chuck’ and ‘duck’ are handed out liberally to everyone you meet, from best friends to bus drivers.

Likewise, ‘sweetie’ and ‘hun’ are almost ubiquitous among some southern speakers of English (stereotypically those from upper-middle-class backgrounds), while ‘hen’ is used just as often as a friendly word for ‘darling’ as it is for a feathered animal one might find in a coop.

A caveat: ‘Love’, ‘sweetie’ and the like are not regarded as traditionally ‘masculine’ – and while an adult male might call a child or a woman ‘love’, more ‘blokey’ terms are preferred.

Naturally, English has a whole host of terms for this too – pal, mate, chum, cocky, bro, dude…

A little bit more than friendly darlings

N/A (not even ‘darling’)

What happens when epiphany strikes and that person who was once your darling ‘pal’ suddenly appears in a whole new light? Oh, gosh. Now things are getting awkward.

In English – especially UK English – there are many ways to explain to other people that you’ve developed ‘a bit of a crush’: to fancy someone; to kind of like someone; to like someone in that way…

None of these terms should ever be directed to the object of your affection. Even if you called them ‘darling’ before, everything now becomes extremely complicated.

When (or if) you do reach the point of pouring forth your undying love, you must revert to strings of conditionals and subjunctives. ‘So…

‘I think… I might possibly have started… maybe we should… do you think… just like… anyway… so?’

Random stranger darlings

Beautiful, handsome, sexy…

Exclusively referring to someone’s appearance or physique is extremely forward and uncouth, and as such, this expression of ‘love’ (if you can call it that) should be reserved for the realms of chat-up lines, dingy clubs (where words are drowned out by music) and online dating forums (where everyone just looks at the pictures anyway).

When it comes to creative chat-up lines, English can be a useful resource too. Sleaze only becomes more sleazy with a choice pun, and English is designed for wordplay: ‘Do you have any raisins? How about a date then?’

‘Are you Jamaican? Because Jer-makin’ me crazy!’

Teenage darlings

Baby, babes, lover, honey, snookums, lamb chop, cutie-pie, sweetiekins

The words teenagers use for the object of their affections are best not dwelt upon too long, as they are without exception sugary to the point of metaphorical tooth decay – see the examples above.

All that popcorn patter is fine for the backseat of the cinema, but things become considerably more down to earth once we reach…

Spouses and long-term relationship darlings

Dear

After a few decades and several children, 103 words can seem far too many. ‘Dear’ is the only real addition to the standard ‘darling’ that most couples will need, with perhaps a ‘love’ and a standard ‘darling’ thrown in here and there.

Come the 60-year anniversary, many British couples are content with a few grunts over the breakfast tea and toast.

Children

Lamb, pumpkin, pikaninny, sweet pea

However, while British English speakers may lose interest in creative terms for each other when age sets in, they make up for this in words for their children.

Listen out for ‘my lamb’ in the south of the UK; ‘chuck’ in the north; ‘bairnie’ in Scotland (‘bairn’ being the Scots word for ‘child’); and ‘mhuirnín’ or ‘stóirin' in Ireland.

People in the UK from a Jamaican background might say ‘pikaninny’. Then there is the Hindi ‘jaan’.

‘My cabbage’… ‘my cinnamon’… even ‘poopie’…

Who will be your darling this Valentine’s Day?
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