5
   

I give up on all things in this life

 
 
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 07:35 am
This is my final message to everyone here. I give up. I have a great composing talent and I am giving up on it. If in a pretend situation I had a genius composing talent that I have yet to learn how to accurately convey, then I would give up on this talent. I would only pursue this talent when I am happy and healthy. My health and well-being is the #1 thing to me above any given purpose in my life. In other words, as long as I am in a good mood, not depressed, and don't have any potential life threatening illness in my life to make me even further depressed, then I have every reason to continue on with being a composer.

But as long as I cannot enjoy any given purpose in my life such as composing through my good moods, then I would give up on such a purpose. Since my health and well-being is what gives joy and meaning to all things in my life, then this is the reason why I am giving up on being a composer and am now giving up on all things in this life as well. This is because I struggle with depression, absence of pleasure, and also an autoimmune disorder that poses life threatening complications.

In conclusion, I am not like other artists who take value and meaning in their suffering and in having a purpose such as making the world a better place even while they are struggling with depression and other illnesses. This is my personal composing dream and my personal life here. As long as I cannot enjoy it, then I am giving up on it right now. How I feel in life is what's important here. Not who I am and what my purpose is.
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 07:42 am
What a f*cking drama queen. If you ever stopped feeling sorry for yourself for a few months and applied yourself to composing, you might actually survive, and enjoy yourself. Instead, you whine all the time about how hard it is to be you. Grow up.
MozartLink
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 07:48 am
@Setanta,
Already did all that. I'm done here.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 07:56 am
Bye . . . don't let the door hit ya in your pathetic, whiny ass . . .
MozartLink
 
  0  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 08:02 am
@Setanta,
(post deleted).
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 08:05 am
You were supposed to be leaving, not sticking around to puke up some more of your whiny crap. Hit the road, clown.
MozartLink
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 08:08 am
@Setanta,
I'm just here to pester you. It is no different really than witnessing an aggravated hamster squeal.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 09:35 am
@MozartLink,
See, isn't that Fun!?
MozartLink
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 09:41 am
@Leadfoot,
No, it's not at all. I am just in a hateful mood when doing so. What it all comes down to now is the afterlife. The eternal blissful afterlife is the only life I have to look forward to now since this life I have now is a waste to me. As long as a life consists of much depression, illness, and suffering, I find it to be a wasted meaningless life that also wastes away my composing dream as well. But if I do get to live on in this afterlife, then I can truly compose and find meaning and joy in doing so since I will be in a good mood for all eternity and will have no more suffering and depression in my life anymore. I can then become famous all I want and finally enjoy my fame all I want with no more suffering and illnesses taking any of that away from me. So for now, I am giving up on my composing and saving it for the next life.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 09:56 am
@MozartLink,
See my reply in your other thread.

But I think you are under rating the joys of poking annoying hamsters and you need to get over that 'fame' thing.
0 Replies
 
Briancrc
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 11:53 am
@MozartLink,
Quote:
So for now, I am giving up on my composing and saving it for the next life.


And what if this life is your one chance to make something of your compositions? Or, could you learn more about adhedonia and help others that are struggling?

Quote:
Kris Carr turned her cancer into a business of hope and healing.

In 2003, Karr was a 32-year-old New Yorker just enjoying life. But then, a regular checkup at her doctor's office resulted in a diagnosis of a rare and incurable Stage IV cancer called epithelioid hemangioendothelioma, existing in her liver and lungs.

Instead of succumbing to the disease, Carr decided to challenge her diagnosis head on. She attacked her cancer with a brand new nutritional lifestyle, and turned her experience into a series of successful self-help books and documentaries. Eventually, she launched her own wellness website, which is followed by over 40,000 people. Today, Karr is celebrating a decade of "thriving with cancer," and is now revered as one of the most prominent experts on healthy living.
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 12:51 pm
@MozartLink,
Try drugs for a year. Then come back to composing.
0 Replies
 
MozartLink
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 12:55 pm
@Briancrc,
If this is the only life I have, then my whole composing was meaningless to me in the first place and was never even worth pursuing in the first place. It is only through the things I desire in my life that I find meaning and joy in the things I have in my life.

Since the greatest thing I desire above all else is an eternal blissful afterlife of no more suffering, then without that, then my entire life and composing is rendered meaningless and nothing is worth living for to me anymore. So as long as I get the things I desire in my life, then my life is all well and smooth.

As for helping others, that can't bring my life any joy or meaning either without the things I desire in my life. Namely, my own feelings of happiness, well-being, as well as the eternal blissful afterlife.
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 01:09 pm
Have you thought about seeing a doctor?
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 01:59 pm
@MozartLink,
I see no way Link, that believing in an afterlife could possibly hurt, unless of course it lessens your resistance

Edited to remark, don't let 'em get ya down. Continue to respond just as often as you wish
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2016 02:00 pm
@MozartLink,
No, you're here to stroke your pathetic ego, which is why you're still posting after having said you'd leave.
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jan, 2016 09:17 am
@MozartLink,
A Eden place without risk challenges and problems is hell, no value in such place. Value requires chance of loss...you beter look to what you have now instead of looking to nonsense.....oh n get those damned pills quick. Finally, stop being a selfish self centred jerk, maybe that is one of the reasons you feel your life is worthless you dont value Jack.
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Jan, 2016 09:56 pm
@MozartLink,
I don't think I've read any of your other threads, but if you truly are suffering from depression, then the last thing you need is "quit whining and grow up" advice. What you probably need is to see a doctor. There are plenty of drugs that can help. What have you got to lose?
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jan, 2016 10:35 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
I agree, Finn.

He sounds very much in love with his take on the world, no dislodging by any of us.

I've no idea except that he needs help.
MozartLink
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2016 04:43 pm
@ossobuco,
If I were to find that new sense of joy and meaning in my life somehow which is a non-hedonistic version of joy and meaning that does not come through physical pleasure (good moods), then what would that experience be like for me? Is it nothing more than the experience of just simply dealing with your depression/absence of pleasure while having the mindset of moving forward, pursuing your goals/dreams, and doing something with your life? If this is all this experience is, then count me out. I see nothing here.

This experience has to actually offer me something like a good mood. It has to actually offer me a joyful, transcending, and life-filling experience like my good moods have. But if I find there to be no such experience for me, then I am truly done living here. I will, without a doubt, put an end to my life.
 

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