Tes' profile

Very funny!

A Guardian columnist did get a Cambridge University Latin academic to give it a try:

Original text:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam hendrerit nisi sed sollicitudin pellentesque. Nunc posuere purus rhoncus pulvinar aliquam. Ut aliquet tristique nisl vitae volutpat. Nulla aliquet porttitor venenatis. Donec a dui et dui fringilla consectetur id nec massa. Aliquam erat volutpat. Sed ut dui ut lacus dictum fermentum vel tincidunt neque. Sed sed lacinia lectus. Duis sit amet sodales felis. Duis nunc eros, mattis at dui ac, convallis semper risus. In adipiscing ultrices tellus, in suscipit massa vehicula eu.

Jaspreet Singh Boparai's "translation" (I use quote marks deliberately):

Rrow itself, let it be sorrow; let him love it; let him pursue it, ishing for its acquisitiendum. Because he will ab hold, unless but through concer, and also of those who resist. Now a pure snore disturbeded sum dust. He ejjnoyes, in order that somewon, also with a severe one, unless of life. May a cusstums offficer somewon nothing of a poison-filled. Until, from a twho, twho chaffinch may also pursue it, not even a lump. But as twho, as a tank; a proverb, yeast; or else they tinscribe nor. Yet yet dewlap bed. Twho may be, let him love fellows of a polecat. Now amour, the, twhose being, drunk, yet twhitch and, an enclosed valley's always a laugh. In acquisitiendum the Furies are Earth; in (he takes up) a lump vehicles bien.

Boparai said this challenge was to "make this text precisely as incoherent in English as it is in Latin - and to make it incoherent in the same way".

The Guardian article mentioned another type of dummy text generator site, patterned after Lorem Ipsum, called Samuel L. Ipsum, which produces random English text in the style of Samuel L Jackson:

Your bones don't break, mine do. That's clear. Your cells react to bacteria and viruses differently than mine. You don't get sick, I do. That's also clear. But for some reason, you and I react the exact same way to water. We swallow it too fast, we choke. We get some in our lungs, we drown. However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends.

You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once and got a taste for murder. After the avalanche, it took us a week to climb out. Now, I don't know exactly when we turned on each other, but I know that seven of us survived the slide... and only five made it out. Now we took an oath, that I'm breaking now. We said we'd say it was the snow that killed the other two, but it wasn't. Nature is lethal but it doesn't hold a candle to man.

Here is a list of 56 comedy Ipsum generrators:

http://mashable.com/2013/07/11/lorem-ipsum/

Again thank you kindly Cis, it's not everyday.....

Tes thanks for that one

The curative abilities and reconciliatory habits of the so-called alternating-current nun have once more arisen with her attempt to discourage certain extremists from using their position to hide long-time drinking habits

What are you trying to say I can't understand. Can you explain me?

Whoosh!

Sorry Tutor. The esl might not recognize nonsense on the (supposedly) humorous plain

Phasellus vulputate non eros et blandit

His penis has reached that voluptuous phase without however affecting his reputation as a "bandit"

You'd think that would do no harm to his reputation as a "bandit".

Thanks Tes, I hafta think about that

A love bandit.

Every bandit has a "weapon".

Some bandit's weapon is only verbal. "stick em up!"

It would be good to get this in somewhere

some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompatus of love