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Sat 21 Nov, 2015 11:18 pm
Good morning...
my son (grade 4) has to write a short story using these vocabulary words:
inspecting, taut, untangled, rumpled, lurked, resounded, reluctant and surge.
can anyone review what he has written and if any changes needed.
Last weekend I visited my grandfather at the farm to help him take care of his sheep. My grandfather has noticed that one of his little lambs was missing, so we started inspecting the fence to see if it had escaped. The fence was taut with wires all the way, but at the end they were twisted because of a fallen tree branch. We worked together to untangle the wires and move the branch, all my hair was rumpled while repairing. We heard a sound coming from the valley , we ran toward it and found the little lambs foot trapped in a big hole. The lamb was reluctant to move, my grandfather was able to pull the lamb up. I felt a surge of happiness because the lamb was safe.
My grandfather knew that a wolf lurked in the farm because of their howls that resounded the land every night.
thank you
Quote:The lamb was reluctant to move, my grandfather was able to pull the lamb up. I felt a surge of happiness because the lamb was safe.
Run on sentence, but really good if written by a fourth grader.
@roger,
how can he fix this error?
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