On being Parent - how do you know?

Hard to say. Some kids who hate their parents at a certain point eventually respect them. Sometimes the other way around.

Then there are weird situations like John Mohammed Lee Malvo, a quasi-parental relationship in which the two were devoted to each other. And now they're both facing long prison sentences--if they're lucky!

I suspect the only real way to know is you wait until your kid is 35 or 40 and tells you one way or the other...

Well, biologically, if you produce more fertile offspring than the average for an individual in your community, you are successful. (scuse me)

I've always figured that job #1 of the parent is to make sure their kid doesn't turn into an arsehole or a coward.

Here's one idea:

Being a "successful parent" means more than providing food, clothing and shelter…True success as a parent comes in helping children develop high self-esteem, strong communication skills and the courage to think through and make good decisions at home, school and in social situations.

Another thought:
Probably the hardest job in the world is being a successful parent. Kids demand time consideration, love, prayers and a hell of a lot of work. Today, with all the distractions that we come to accept as necessary, the personal touch and interaction gets shoved aside. We start to believe all the junk we hear and then wonder what went wrong or why our children aren't more successful. Specifically, it isn't the schools job to educate and train our children. They are a vehicle to an end but the job is ours. You wouldn't drive your car with out occasionally checking out its engine.

Stages of Parenting

I've thought about this a lot, and I just don't know. I mean, parents are important, to be sure. WAY important. But the sozlet is just so herself, I feel like I'm just kind of making sure that her natural self-ness doesn't get squelched by outside influences (hunger, cold, lack of stimulation, etc.) I have a friend with three kids -- two are great, one is a freak. She has no idea why, blames herself, does all she can to improve things, and as fishin' says, in the long term he'll probably be fine. But it seems too simplistic to say good person=good parenting, bad person= bad parenting.

So I guess just do our level best and keep fingers crossed.

I'm not really sure about the warm fuzzies here. My parents weren't like that at all. My mother didn't see her role as building my self-esteem. It was more getting me to fear her so I wouldn't be a screw up because I was afraid to get her mad. It worked.

My parents did a great job. I got great grades, a decent job, good friends, a good relationship with them and my brother. I've never been in jail, didn't have a kid at 16, not a drug addict, and I certainly never put up with any loser guys. Nothing but the best for me, baby.

I think all children need discipline. I think all children will hold a grudge because of it. I think children grow into adults that (hopefullY) take the best of your values and thank you in their own little ways (maybe even a little bit for getting told "no"!)

My parents weren't my best friends. They were my parents and I am ever grateful.

Sure kids need discipline. Discipline -- boundaries -- is different from instilling fear. Glad it worked for ya.

What I'm getting at is that my daughter is really bright, really sweet, and generally about the best I can hope for thus far. But it doesn't feel right to me to take complete credit for that. She's been that way pretty much since she first appeared, and I feel like I've helped it along (by doing a number of things which include providing discipline where appropriate) rather than created it.

I feel like I have been very successful as a parent. I have three daughters, 22, 21, and 5 and a stepson who is 19. Everyone makes mistakes along the way, I admit to it, luckily nothing that big. I look at how my older children have turned out, the choices they have made, the character they have, the consideration they show others, the artistic ability they possess, the scholastic achievements they have, the friendships and relationships that they nuture, and how society views them. I also look at the relationship that I have with each of them.

Some parents may not think that being friends with your children is important, but to me it is. I have fantastic relationships with my daughters and with my stepson. My mom and I were great friends when I became an adult. Not so much during the teen years, but that is to be expected. You really can't expect to be a friend to your teen, but once they get over that stage, your friendship can grow into the best part of parenting, IMHO. I am totally enjoying the relationships that I have with my older children and having a second chance at going through childhood with my 5 year old.

Some really great comments here
Thanks!

I'm not sure you get the total picture of success until your children are grown, with children of their own. But, I think you can get a really good idea by your childrens actions along the way.
I doubt that my ideas of what it takes to be a great parent (good isn't enough for me) are the same as the majority of other parents out there.
I say that because not many parents are parenting the same way we do.
I know what it takes in my opinion to be a bad parent, so I've done everything in my power not to be one.(I learned from my own parents mistakes)
I've always put my childrens needs before my own, which I think goes a long way. I've always made a point to be there for my children. I've made myself available to offer my knowledge and wisdom throughout the years. I've put myself in a position to be a positive role model, I don't do anything that I've told my children not to do.
Children learn what they live.
I still have a few years to find out just how successful I hope I've been, but if the past and present actions of our children are any indication then we've been doing things right.

Listen, Encourage, Be Consistent, Do No Harm, Listen, and Never stop loving them.

It works for me.

It worked for my folks too.