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Mon 19 Jul, 2004 05:29 am
I thought I might shed some light on the issue of underage drinking from the point of view of a teenager.
First of all, you must realize that it is not in your power to restrict your kids from drinking. If your kids want to drink, they'll find some way of doing it. If you have an honest friendship with your children, you might be able to teach them the values of safe drinking but by giving them consequences and by making it forbidden, this simply makes it a bigger problem in the future as your kids will abuse the forbidden fruit when opportunities arise. You also have to realize that your children should learn to make their own decisions too and that they learn from their wrong decisions. As I'm sure most have you have probably had "one too many" before, you learnt, just as they will, that overdrinking has it's consequences (being sick, embarrasing yourself, etc...). This is something that you have to let them learn themselves, even though they may be put in a bit a risk by learning it. If you look at statistics though, the chances of your son or daughter being severely injured or killed from drinking are slim to none.
I myself am 17 yrs old and I've been drinking since the age of 13. Yes, I have had some crazy nights where I have vomited from overdrinking along with some embarrassing times as well. My parents never knew about all this, but this is because I chose not to let them know due to the nature of our relationship.You also must realize that your kids are NOT angels and will drink behind your backs if you restrict them. If you develop an honest, friendly relationship with your kids where you don't try to restrict their actions so much and you don't scold them harshly when they mess up, you will find that they will be much more honest and open with you and that you will be able to deal with their problems much more easily.
To be honest with you, I dont really care what you think of me, my parents, or what I just said. I just hope that you understand what I'm trying to get through and believe that this is the truth. I feel that parents are too reliant on parenting guides and child specialists when raising their kids. I think that they should essentially parent their children with common sense and HONESTY. Because if your not honest and you overexagurate the problems ofdrinking or anything for that matter, your kids will never listen to you or respect you.
I'm just doing you a favor and telling it to you the way it is.
Well, my parents were always honest and open with me regarding underage drinking, and I was allowed to keep beer in the house from about the age of 15. I still went out and drank as well, and with the exception of a few nights, I was generally cool. I can completely relate to your position, at your age, and I agree, parents should keep an honest, open relationship with their kids regarding these things. Now, at 33, I have developed liver disease and diabetes, a random stroke of bad luck, as I never drank that heavily, but was admittedly above average. Anyway, I'm not preaching about the evils of drinking, just relating a personal story. I don't see a problem with parents suggesting 'caution if you're going to do it'.
Even if you are able to speak to your parents in clear terms about your habits, it can be awkward to tell them when you might have a problem with drinking. I know many people for whom this happened. Just as it is not good to continue a lifestyle without informing those around you who are most important, your parents included, it is even harder to admit to a greater problem. Starting an early dialogue with your parents or any other important figures can help towards finding ways to work around any problems you may develop, but also to help keeping you from falling into those problems in the first place.
And DJ Legit, I agree with Craven de Kere, you show great insight, especially for your age. And I just started on this site today too, so I also hope to be seeing much more of you.
Of course, kids are gonna find a way to drink if they wanna, just as they'll find a way to have sex or do drugs if they wanna. That doesn't make any of it right.
I figure it comes down to responsibility. And I figure stuff like binge drinkin' displays a total lack of either responsibility or maturity. If kids don't wanna be treated as kids, they should demonstrate they know how to not act like kids. A well-displayed sense of responsibility goes a long way to cancel a lack of years when it comes to assigning points on the maturity scale.
Problem is, it takes most kids a while to figure that out, and there's no question there are plenty of adults still short on the concept well into later life. No doubt that's why there are laws about such things ... not so much to protect us from ourselves, or kids from themselves, but to protect the rest of us from the immature and irresponsible of whatever age.
An amusing anecdote occurs to me. First time I came home drunk, I was, oh, I dunno, 14, mebbe 15. I'd been out partyin' with the Big Kids, and had taken on a pretty fair load of beer. Anyhow, I was tryin' to sneak back into the house, it bein' well past my curfew, apart from my being illicitly lit up, but my stealth measures failed. My old man busted me as I came through the hallway window. Coming seemingly outta nowhere, he grabbed me by the shoulders as I was unsteadilly regainin' my feet, giving me a good attention-getting shake, and sternly, loudly demanded "Just what do you think you're doin', young man? Have you been drinkin'?". Well, take a kid, fill him full of beer, then shake him up, both figuratively and physically, and what do you think is gonna happen?
Timber, after you puked, did he laugh and say "I hope you learned something tonight, but no lesson is complete without a good shoe cleaning. Off to work, boy."
I got to put in some mop time. Hadda do the resultant laundry by hand, too, all before I was permitted to crawl into bed. Next mornin', bright and early, dad decided a buncha wood needed split and some holes needed dug. A real bummer of a deal for me all around.
I don't suppose he rewarded you afterwards with beer and strippers...
Well, he didn't bring up strippers, but he did offer me a beer at one point when I'd worked up a good sweat. In fact, he insisted, and shoved a cigar at me too. I accepted. That turned out not to have been a very good idea, either. I hadda keep diggin', though.
I couldn't agree more DJ.
Welcome to A2K :-D
I basically wasn't allowed to go out to parties till I moved out.(17) Of course I still went out a little behind my parents back. The only way I was allowed to go out (ony sometimes) was if I answered 300 questions about the whole thing so I figured it just wasn't worth it. I mean really, i'm not gonna miss a hang over. Today I respect my parents, my dad, more for being the way they/he was when I was growing up, he made me the level headed person I am today.
That's great to hear Stand up :-D
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