the study of human need for love

Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 09:17 am
imagine if we take a person with love needs not met, and place him in another world, a perfect replica of his existing one, but with the only difference that no one in the new planet loves anyone there (neither hates), all the interactions are mutual trades with a selfish focus underlying everything.

the question is, will that same person be less crippled in his love lacking situation?.

in other words, is it the contrast, the inferiority , that sparks envy, etc. and ends up becoming an indicator of the persons degree of value, which spirals into a need for love to fill that void and bring an equality in this persons overall sense of worth?.

obviously this question is geared towards the adult position , as children are physically vulnerable and need to attract protection and care.

my belief is that our planet is actually very close to this, (no one loves anyone, (neither hates), all the interactions are mutual trades with a selfish focus underlying everything.)

i believe there is very rational evidence to this, for example, if the very same person inside and out, would be your neighbor's child instead of yours, it wouldn't even dawn on you there is something exceptionally triggering and charming in this human.

another point,

one cannot love something they don't feel. if you eat the chocolate ,you could love it, if someone else eats it, and you never had and never will have access to chocolate, there is no network between you and the food, to establish a communication of flowing emotion and activation of sense,

if you have never seen a girl in your life, there will be zero passion ,emotion, care, etc.
it is only when the girl comes into sight, triggers your sensations active, that you begin loving what you sense, not what she is, as there is no way on earth to participate in another humans experience ,(if she eats chocolate and you don't know anything about chocolate and it's effects, there is no way you will participate in the pleasure she experiences)

the evidence goes on and on a and on,

when we say we love someone or something .we express our self love and "appreciation to the cause and source of our pleasures and relief " ,

when we care for that source, we care for ourselves, just like conservationists do, when a parent sacrifices her life for the child, (other then the possible contribution of pure instinct not controlled by the logic of the mother) she sacrifices a small price of dying, for the much more exorbitant price of living a life with endless guilt, torment ,etc.

when we show sympathy and pity to the poor and unfortunate, we are occupied, rebuilding our disturbed comfort zone which was invaded, and threatened by fear and pain in ourselves, provoked by the gruesome expression of human suffering we encountered.

given that you agree somewhat to the above , i assume that processing the info by itself , should relieve the agony of loneliness, and lessen our dependence on outside love.

i also assume, that given the reality of all the side benefits, "care", and well being that comes, with being loved by a capable person, the envy and sense of inferiority, will remain extremely powerful, despite all the logical reasoning about love and it's deception,

my plea to you is, to help find an attachment to the truth about love, it could be anything, ranging from additional ideas, exercise, (preferably a formula of physical, mental and emotional exercises combined in one activity) a religion like culture, designed to compliment the missing energy in the purely rational message above.

from the lad priding himself in describing true selflessness as a disease, and what we consider a virtue, someone with the ability to channel his natural selfishness, into a win win situation where the world benefits from him alongside with him.
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Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 01:45 am
@think rethink,
think rethink wrote:

as children are physically vulnerable and need to attract protection and care.

This applies to everyone, not just children...
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 06:03 am
@think rethink,
yes exactly every one need love in different stages of their life span.
think rethink
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 08:18 am
i partly agree with your point, while that is the case with adults occasionally, that is a child's reality very consistently. therefor, an adult in a love deprived state will have a constant emotional problem (which i am attempting to resolve), but only a periodic practical issue.
vs the child will endure both of the above none stop
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think rethink
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 10:08 am
Another factor, besides the fact that a child's position is vulnerable, they also lack tools to deal with their fragile and depending situation, they do not possess valuable assets to trade in, for their needs,
neither do they possess powerful energies that can be harnessed into producing value. Their only asset is charm, which can only be deposited in the chamber of a loving heart. Vs the adult in need for care, protection, assistance.can utilize many varying tools and assets at his immediate or potential disposal, other then charm and sympathy, to acquire his material needs
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think rethink
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 11:30 am
correct, the question still lingers, do they need love? or the care and support that comes with being loved,

is that need a result of a state of mind that can be altered, thereby resolving the unmet need by eliminating it, instead of feeding it ?

is that need periodical ,or very very persistent and constant ?
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think rethink
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 12:11 pm
a little more elaboration,

an adult who needs help from others, but is unable to channel them into providing his needs through charm ,pity, and other love/affection/compassion triggers, can still acquire the needed ASSISTANCE through trading for it with the numerous skills, talents, products or services at his disposal, so when he keeps insisting for love, especially if it's a specified love, ("that" person", in "this" form, on "those" terms, etc) and even more so when it's not the more "capable" people that keep showing up on his radar, time and time again,

then we should try to analyze, if attempting to establish love, is the best method to resolve our dilemma, if this transaction is where we get the most for our emotional money, or we can pay less, invest less risk, trauma, frustration, etc , and get more promising and certain reward for our efforts, in a better economy elsewhere,

if the need is not real, but a product of a faulty mindset, shouldn't we focus to resolve the source of the bleeding rather then searching for the better band aid?

the faulty mind set i am referring to, is the false deceiving conclusion, that if i don't keep on being deceived by outsiders who keep on lying to me and saying to me i love you,i love you, i miss you (when they basically love and miss "only" their very secretive and personal experience and sensation that i am provoking in them) then i won't survive, or am not entitled to exist,

also keep in mind, that it is extremely unlikely that there is a person on the planet that is unable to trigger the love and attract the care of at least on other person in the universe, i would bet that the worst case , still will attract at least a few thousand lovers should the every human get a chance to date every human,

we might therefore conclude , that successful loved ones, are the result of a "successful combination", where the two parties,"both" happened to possess, the compatible "filling" for each others voids, and compatible "voids" for each others capabilities, rather then richness in value in the given loved one.

in short, it's a matter of compatibility rather then value.
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