Who is and Who is Not Going to Heaven

According to The Bible Code, the "End" will take place in 2006 if I remember correctly. Would have to look it up again, but it was September 2005 or 2006 if I'm not mistaking.

I found it funny, not serious, so I think I turned the page corner down. Will look and see so everyone can get prepared. :wink:

Yeah, considering some of the crowd already there, I think I'd opt for someplace else. I wonder if Valhalla is still accepting new people.

Okay. I found it...

According to Michael Brosnin in "Bible Code - The Countdown," on page 165 a plague (smallpox) is encoded with 2005 and a warning of "World War" and "atomic holocaust" are encoded for 2006. The latter is also encoded with "Jerusalem" and "Bin Laden" according to page 227.

"New York" is encoded with two years... 2001 (the year of 9/11) and 2004. The 2004 date is cross coded with "from the fire of a missle."

A thought for all the pre-tribulation believers.

LOL okay Squinney....I'm hunting for my copy of "The Great Late Planet Earth". We really ought to dig up some of Edgar Cayce and Nostrodamus's predictions too.

I hope heaven is not dissappointing - individuals have built it up to be their perfect environment, with everything they could possibly want and need to enjoy themselves immensely. Ever thought that heaven might be a way-station where "angels" or "spirits" report to and then get further instructions? For some reason I imagine that after we die, it's either really all over and we cease to exist competely (no heaven) or we move to another plane and are given instructions on what our tasks may be in a new environment, or perhaps are reborn again(?) I just can't imagine that we park out butts on a cloud and listen to music and eat grapes - wouldn't that be boring?

It's all pure speculation, but please don't put me next door to BPB or I'll have to zap him with my faery dust if his music goes a decibel over 60!

I do not believe for a minute that it is 'all over' when our hearts stop beating. However, I agree whole heartedly that an eternal existence of pink clouds and lyre music would be a bit grim.

Heaven and hell are a choice we make by our thoughts.

That's it. Discussion over. Heeven has now convinced me that we make our own heaven or hell here on earth... Could I PLEASE borrow some of that dust?

Sorry I snorted (I mean sprinkled) most of my current batch. I have to go down a dark alley for some more ... how much do you want?

There is a secret esoteric wisdom that my family has passed down for generations. It is not a cookie recipe, but that is what we usually tell other people. The truth is that we know the reality of heaven and hell. We've been both those places. All of us. Not you. My family.

For one thing, they're not heaven and hell. These names were invented to conceal the true names: Ladle and Carpet. Be careful when you use these names. They're very dangerous.

Ladle is a giant business building with infinite rooms. Each room contains another flavor. Each flavor raises the individual to new levels of opressive euphoria. Only good people go here. Good people are the ones who don't cheat on their taxes.

Carpet is an island off the coast of Mexico. Nobody speaks your language there. They don't even speak a variant of Spanish. There are little beatles with giant turtle-shaped teeth who latch on to the arms of the poor people who end up here. Their teeth spread a flavor that tastes like death, and the death spreads on into eternity. Everyone who cheats on their taxes goes here.

This is exactly how it happens. Even before there were taxes, this is how it happened. All of those people did not cheat on their taxes and they go to Ladle.

If you don't cheat on your taxes you go to Ladle. If you already have there is no redemption. Enjoy your life because you are going to Carpet when you die.

I had a dog that went on the carpet. Will I meet him there after I die?

Actually, there's also a secret passed down by the dogs of my family, generation-to-generation, because they've all been able to go there and back again as well. This is what my dog told me:

"Dauer, it is a beautiful place. ...[There is] unmarked territory for miles, and my bladder was bottomless. When I wanted to chase squirrels there was a squirrel. If I caught the squirrel I could tear it apart with my teeth as its body spasmed and eat it whole. It tasted like an eternity of fetch and hump-the-leg and belly scratchings. I will take you there now."

At that point he jumped at me with his lip curled up and he tried to chomp my neck. I had to shoot him. At least I know he's in a good place.

So no, I don't think you'll see your pet in Carpet. He's going to some nameless dog afterlife. At least you know he's in a good place.

Dauer

No one's going anywhere unless another horse gets added to the apocalypse...one that goes vertical - this being the space age and all. At the time the first four got their job descriptions, vertical was not an option. We now demand a higher dimension - more relative to relativity or if your going to hell, Quantum Theory - for any Termination Proclamation to take place.

I don't think you will be able to get laid, seeing as how you no longer have the equipment. No bars either, sorry. You won't need internet access, thought processes will bring you any info needed.
I think there is a lot more than Harp music.

Love

I just want to know why anyone would want to go to heaven if they dont know how it is going to be like??? I mean I could say Antarctica is a really great place, but would that make everyone want to go there? No because they know that its not a great place. When you get to heaven i guess you better like it or youre screwed.

Whatthewtf,

think of it this way:

Death is the end

or

Something after death extends existence.

Which is more appealing?

I think you will like it. Near death experiencers never want to leave it, but are usually sent back anyway. If you want to know more, you might read some NDEs.

http://www.aleroy.com/board00.htm

Love

An eternity of strokin' the Big Guy's ego holds little appeal for me . . . i'm goin' to Hell, there'll be more of us, so the hours will be shorter . . .

I like the idea that life ends when you die than youre finally done and you cxan take a nice long nap!

What's cool about this thread is that I only had to read page 1 and page 6 and I could totally extrapolate the rest. To give Yoda SOME credit, he's one fine puppet. Now if only Yoda would start a thread in Film about Christian symbols and mythology through the entirety of Star Wars, old and new, including things like how the Jedi code mimicked the quests of the Knights Templar, that sort of thing...that would be a proper religious discussion. Forget scripture, modern media is where it's at. I think Mel's Passion of the Christ proved that.