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Thu 8 Jul, 2004 07:13 pm
Hi guys...
I am new to this forum so I will do introductions first.
My name is Annie and I am from Australia.
It would be helpful to me if there were any other Aussies in this forum but I am willing to accept advice from anywhere at this stage.......
MY dilemma is this.....
A girlfriend of mine is having trouble with her 15yr old son...He is very strong willed and fights constantly with her over money. Who doesn't. She is a single parent with a part- time job. He has started working part-time as well and refuses to help her out by paying board. She stil does the usual motherly jobs. He does nothing to help. She drives him to work, and picks him up at night when he has finished. Just last night she had to pick him in a temp of -2c. She gets no thanks from him, just complaints that clothes aren't ironed all they are out of milk for his breakfast. They live within walking distance of the local shops. But he waits for her to get home after work and then tells her they need milk. (That is just an exmp.)
Any way, the main problem is the not paying board, and spending all of his wage of anything he desires. He also has "friends" that tell him it is illegal for children to pay board. Is there anyone who can clarify that it is indeed NOT ILLEGAL to pay his mother board.
My friend is tired of arguing with him and just wants someone to prove to him that he is wrong.
Is there anyone who can help......she is at her wits end.
Thankyou
I'm not in Australia but the wording alone just sounds backwards. I can't imagine anyone anywhere would write a law saying that it'd be illegal for a child to pay room and/or board.
That said however, I suspect that like most other places, the parent IS legally obligated to provide food and shelter to their children so what is she really going to do if he doesn't pay?
I doubt she has any legal recourse if he failed to pay board. She probably can't evict him. Overall I doubt it's illegal to charge a child board but there probably isn't any way to actually make them pay either.
Welcome to A2K! The place is crawling with Aussies... couple of um lawyers I think... so you'll soon have some real advice.
In the mean time; why not charge for transportation, ironing or anything else the spoiled little brat wants that he isn't entitled to?
HI...
Thanks for posting.
She has tried just about everything....She grew up with the rule of 1/3 split.
1/3 went to her parents for bills
1/3 went to her bank for saving
1/3 went to her for whatever she wanted.
He will on occasion pay her some money....the biggest problem is this notion that it is illegal for her to make him pay.....He is so strong willed..I have tried to teach her myself to be stronger with him but it its not working. Even my kids have tried to tell him but not even they can get through to him. And they are around his age group. It just falls on deaf ears....
What is wrong with this woman? Can't she stand up to her own son?
I'd tell the spoiled brat that he's old enough to do his own laundry and ironing and help around the house with cooking, cleaning, etc. I'd just flat stop doing it for him. No discussion.
I don't know that I'd make him pay for household expenses at the age of 15, but I'd sure as hell expect him to share the chores.
When I was 15 and working I paid Board of my own free will. My parents never asked me for anything and didn't need the money, but it made me feel independent, which was very important to me.
I don't know what the laws are in Australia, but I highly doubt that she can lagally bind him to paying for food and board since he's only 15. I understand that he's working and he sounds ungrateful, but she is still lagally responsible for provinding for him until he's an adult. She could ask him for cash for gas and car repair if she's driving him to work, but again, he has no obligation their either, since she's doing it of her own free will. She could stop driving him back and forth to work, so he can see how much a cab will run him, but there's not a whole lot more she can do.
I agree with Eva. I would stop catering to him without even a thought. He's old enough to cook for himself, wash his cloths, do his dishes, etc....
The laws are a bit different from state to state.
Generally though;
The residential tenancies act, (NSW only), doesn't apply to family agreements.
A parent has the right to eject a 15 year old from the family home.
You can charge board but you have no real way of enforcing payment.
Any board you do charge needs to be declared as income and taxed.
Summing up, the law doesn't have much to contribute in this situation.
It's a problem that has to sorted out between your friend and her son.
I also wanted to add that I am certain that him paying her board of his own free will is not illegal. Demanding board is another story and as Adrian said, "there's no way to enforce it". If she can lagally throw him out of the house at 15, then she could tell him that if he doesn't help out, he's out.
Best of luck to your friend and welcome to A2K :-)
Sure, there is a way to enfore it.
I am pretty sure a minor anywhere needs parental permission to work. A parent has quite a bit of leverage if she will use it.
If I were having this problem I would make my son sign an agreement with me based on the needs of the family. The 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 plan sounds very reasonable. No agreement and he will simply not work-- period.
There is perhaps a moral and legal obligation to provide food and clothing, but extra milk and ironing would be out of the question in my house. If the kid were being that assinine, I would stop doing his laundry and perhaps buy a lock for all but the basic necessities. One could very easily stop doing any extras until an agreement is reached.
You friend needs to exersize control. A parent has quite a bit of power since they own the house, have the resources and have legal authority.
It is a matter of your friend making very clear what she will and will not accept from her son. If one makes the limits and the consequences very clear, most teenagers will follow them.
In Australia you can work at 15. All you need is a tax file number. Parents can't stop you from doing that.
But I agree with the rest of your sentiments E_brown.
Perhaps the laws have been changed, but in PA all possessions of a minor child (including paychecks) were presumed to belong to the parent.
I'm with the Quid Pro Quid lobby. Snotty teen agers get the necessities of life, period. Arguing hasn't worked, but actions will.
The next time he expresses his Rights, she should assert hers--starting with no ride to work.
If she won't assert herself for herself, remind her that Sonny Boy's rampant testosterone will also be inflicted on girlfriends and wives--and they will not thank her for raising a lout.
Adrian wrote:In Australia you can work at 15. All you need is a tax file number. Parents can't stop you from doing that.
But I agree with the rest of your sentiments E_brown.
Parents can't stop a 15 year old from leaving the house for anything other than school? That is weird.
I'm still in awe that they can actually tell their 15 year old to hit the road.
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