AN IRONY RICH DIET

Heretic Metallurgist (With Imperialist Tendencies)--

Cold Iron
Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."

So he made rebellion 'gainst the King his liege,
Camped before his citadel and summoned it to siege.
"Nay!" said the cannoneer on the castle wall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- shall be master of you all!"

Woe for the Baron and his knights so strong,
When the cruel cannon-balls laid 'em all along;
He was taken prisoner, he was cast in thrall,
And Iron -- Cold Iron -- was master of it all!

Yet his King spake kindly (ah, how kind a Lord!)
"What if I release thee now and give thee back thy sword?"
"Nay!" said the Baron, "mock not at my fall,
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of men all."

"Tears are for the craven, prayers are for the clown --
Halters for the silly neck that cannot keep a crown."
"As my loss is grievous, so my hope is small,
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- must be master of men all!"

Yet his King made answer (few such Kings there be!)
"Here is Bread and here is Wine -- sit and sup with me.
Eat and drink in Mary's Name, the whiles I do recall
How Iron -- Cold Iron -- can be master of men all!"

He took the Wine and blessed it. He blessed and brake the Bread.
With His own Hands He served Them, and presently He said:
"See! These Hands they pierced with nails, outside My city wall,
Show Iron -- Cold Iron -- to be master of men all."

"Wounds are for the desperate, blows are for the strong.
Balm and oil for weary hearts all cut and bruised with wrong.
I forgive thy treason -- I redeem thy fall --
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- must be master of men all!"

"Crowns are for the valiant -- sceptres for the bold!
Thrones and powers for mighty men who dare to take and hold!"
"Nay!" said the Baron, kneeling in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of men all!
Iron out of Calvary is master of men all!"

Irony was my best means for keeping my sanity when my kids were young. I could make the most outrageous statements or modify their storybooks as I read from them. They took it all at face value and I had a great time, though I occasionally had to answer a "why is Mommy laughing" question.

One of my favorites:
My daughter was fond of an atrocious character called "Lady Lovelylocks" whose books were just a tie-in to a doll with long hair. I changed the name of her handmaiden from "Maiden Fairhair" to "Maiden Taiwan".

Oh I do that!

The sozlet has a book called "The Polite Elephant" by Richard Scarry, a gift from M-I-L, I don't like it. The first line is "Everyone likes the Polite Elephant," and I always add, "even though he's really annoying." Etc., throughout the book.

One must be very careful with the liddlies, though--they listen very carefully, and will scold any divergence from writ . . .

Got that right, Setanta.
Once the daughter asked me the names of the horses in a picture in one of her books. So I gave them names. Next time I read the story, she asked for the names again and knew which ones I had forgotten!

I grew up in a stair-step family, with the aggregate of cousins born between 1937 and 1963. One was always responsible for those shorter and younger than oneself. I was reading bed time stories to my cousins by the time i was in second grade.

Fer sure... note I said "always".

However, as sozlet is reading more and more that's gonna start being a problem. She's already asking where words are that I make up (I do this a lot, which I know is bad technique in terms of teaching reading.)

How kids learn to read is just fascinating. My oldest and youngest were both reading before kindergarten and I still don't know how they did it.

Hmmmm, an appropriate thread for politics. Now I know the irony of how political leanings occur, for the rereading and rewriting of Hansel and Gretel or Goldilocks or Sleeping Beauty

It's an iron rich dog eat dog world.....

I suffered a severe injury when i was just past my third birthday. My grandfather decided to teach me to read, as i was at home, and in the house most of the day (he worked 4:00 am until noon, six days a week). I can still recall vividly the day i learned to recognize the word "the." I leafed feverishly through The Wind in the Willowsp identifiying its every occurence. I later learned that i am dyslexic. Either my grandfather recognized the disability and worked around it, or he simply had endless patience (the most probable explanation). I was able to read, and read aloud (although haltingly and with a stutter) that book before my fourth birthday.

In San Diego it is Suiessential, or what ever means 100, he would have been that age this year. He was a master I always thought. Cyn used to get angry at me because I laughed so hare while reading his stories to her.

The best part was when she could read herself she would reak them to me just to see me laugh.

Well I don't trust them I-ronians, never did.

Nuclear arms in the Middle East
Israel's attackin' the Iraqis
The Syrians are mad at the Lebanese
And Baghdad do whatever she please
Looks like another threat to world peace . . .


The late, great Warren Zevon

LOL!!

Maiden Taiwan was funny, but this really made me laugh out loud ;-)

Anyone know this track 'Nuclear War', by Yo La Tengo?

Its very, very funny/cute/interesting ;-)

I know all tracks by Yo La Tengo (bragging, but true hehe). And all are cute