Mark Twain on Christianity

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”
― Mark Twain

“The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”
― Mark Twain

All this "believing"...ON BOTH SIDES of this issue...is just plain silly.

With all the respect in the world, both sides ought to get over itself about how right its position is...and how wrong the other side is.

Mark Twain at first did not believe in the Bible. And then he came to believe in Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

Twain accepted a deity. He did not accept the precepts of the religious very much.

Whatever....this is a pleasure to read:
Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven by Mark Twain

I just thought it ironic that this point was overlooked as far as the heavenly quote in the OP:
Rarely is it mentioned that before the flood story, a great number of angels gave up their relationship with God in order to materialize on earth and cohabit with women. Thus, the idea of an eternity without romantic love is shown to be ever so more disagreeable.

I couldn't fault Twain for not pointing it out. If all he knew was nominal christianity, he would likely not have been aware of it.

Twain lived long enough to recognize the sine wave of evangelism. He even saw one of his daughters fall prey to the way of the 'saved.'.

Sadly she was the one that outlived him and hid many of his later religious mots hidden for many decades after his death..

Rap

I wonder what Twain would have to say about our present day.

That is an entertaining story . . . so here's a link for text for anyone who would like to read it:

Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven

I also wonder what Ambrose Bierce would say.



http://www.thedevilsdictionary.com/

Rap

I had never heard about it and it is so fun. Thanks for pointing it out,

Bierce and Twain were rivals. Bierce wrote for the San Francisco Enquirer (William Randolph Hurst) and was a geographic officer with Henry Thomas in Tennessee during the Civil War. His short stories reflect the arabesque and harken roots to Poe.

Bierce didn't personally care for Twain--it seems that Twain's choice to go to Nevada and abandon a career as a Mississippi river pilot during the unpleasantness of the 1860's irked Bierce's sense of morality.

Bierce was known to honor veterans of either army, considering them as kindered souls. In Bierce's opinion, Twain could never pass that muster.

BTW Bierce never died, he disappeared. After the attack on Columbus, New Mexico by Pancho Villa (1914?) Bierce talked Hurst (actually he threatened to quit) into letting him accompany Pershing into Mexico to extract revenge. Bierce split off and disappeared in into Mexico. Legend has it that Bierce found Villa (Pershing never did).

Rap

Thinking of Pancho Villa anecdotes. . .

Better not. . . .

Interesting story

Mark Twain once wrote, "It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt."

That idea is also attributed to Abraham Lincoln. However, what is hilarious here is that a bible thumper doesn't recognize it.

In the King James version, Proverbs, chapter 17, verse 28:

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

There is, indeed, little that is new under the sun.

I knew that Abraham Lincoln had said it. And I am familiar with similar scripture as well.

Psalm 29:11. A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.

Yeah . . . you know it all, right Bubba?