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Mark Twain on Christianity

 
 
Reply Sat 25 Apr, 2015 07:25 pm
I found this interesting tidbit in a TIME, INC. Special
Quote:
β€œFor instance, take this sample: he has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first and foremost in the heart of every individual of his race -- and of ours -- sexual intercourse!

It is as if a lost and perishing person in a roasting desert should be told by a rescuer he might choose and have all longed-for things but one, and he should elect to leave out water!”
― Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings
He nailed it perfectly! But is the belief supported by the Bible? I mean, is that truly God's purpose - to allow us life here for 70 or 80 years and then deprive us in a cosmic bait and switch?
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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 5,158 • Replies: 88

 
edgarblythe
 
  5  
Reply Sat 25 Apr, 2015 08:05 pm
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”
― Mark Twain
edgarblythe
 
  4  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 09:13 am
β€œThe Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”
― Mark Twain
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 12:20 pm
All this "believing"...ON BOTH SIDES of this issue...is just plain silly.

With all the respect in the world, both sides ought to get over itself about how right its position is...and how wrong the other side is.


0 Replies
 
Patches
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 12:40 pm
@edgarblythe,
Mark Twain at first did not believe in the Bible. And then he came to believe in Jesus as his Lord and Savior.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  5  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 12:57 pm
Twain accepted a deity. He did not accept the precepts of the religious very much.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  3  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 01:10 pm
Whatever....this is a pleasure to read:
Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven by Mark Twain
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 02:05 pm
@neologist,
I just thought it ironic that this point was overlooked as far as the heavenly quote in the OP:
Rarely is it mentioned that before the flood story, a great number of angels gave up their relationship with God in order to materialize on earth and cohabit with women. Thus, the idea of an eternity without romantic love is shown to be ever so more disagreeable.

I couldn't fault Twain for not pointing it out. If all he knew was nominal christianity, he would likely not have been aware of it.
raprap
 
  4  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 02:38 pm
@neologist,
Twain lived long enough to recognize the sine wave of evangelism. He even saw one of his daughters fall prey to the way of the 'saved.'.

Sadly she was the one that outlived him and hid many of his later religious mots hidden for many decades after his death..

Rap
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 02:42 pm
@raprap,
I wonder what Twain would have to say about our present day.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 02:51 pm
@saab,
That is an entertaining story . . . so here's a link for text for anyone who would like to read it:

Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
0 Replies
 
raprap
 
  2  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2015 03:37 pm
@neologist,
I also wonder what Ambrose Bierce would say.

http://www.martialdevelopment.com/wordpress/wp-content/images/devils-dictionary.jpg

http://www.thedevilsdictionary.com/

Rap
saab
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Apr, 2015 05:45 am
@raprap,
I had never heard about it and it is so fun. Thanks for pointing it out,
raprap
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Apr, 2015 06:01 am
@saab,
Bierce and Twain were rivals. Bierce wrote for the San Francisco Enquirer (William Randolph Hurst) and was a geographic officer with Henry Thomas in Tennessee during the Civil War. His short stories reflect the arabesque and harken roots to Poe.

Bierce didn't personally care for Twain--it seems that Twain's choice to go to Nevada and abandon a career as a Mississippi river pilot during the unpleasantness of the 1860's irked Bierce's sense of morality.

Bierce was known to honor veterans of either army, considering them as kindered souls. In Bierce's opinion, Twain could never pass that muster.

BTW Bierce never died, he disappeared. After the attack on Columbus, New Mexico by Pancho Villa (1914?) Bierce talked Hurst (actually he threatened to quit) into letting him accompany Pershing into Mexico to extract revenge. Bierce split off and disappeared in into Mexico. Legend has it that Bierce found Villa (Pershing never did).

Rap
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Apr, 2015 09:03 am
@raprap,
Thinking of Pancho Villa anecdotes. . .

Better not. . . .
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Apr, 2015 10:22 am
@raprap,
Interesting story
0 Replies
 
Patches
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 29 Apr, 2015 02:56 pm
Mark Twain once wrote, "It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt."
Setanta
 
  6  
Reply Wed 29 Apr, 2015 04:05 pm
@Patches,
That idea is also attributed to Abraham Lincoln. However, what is hilarious here is that a bible thumper doesn't recognize it.

In the King James version, Proverbs, chapter 17, verse 28:

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

There is, indeed, little that is new under the sun.
Patches
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 29 Apr, 2015 06:19 pm
@Setanta,
I knew that Abraham Lincoln had said it. And I am familiar with similar scripture as well.

Psalm 29:11. A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  3  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2015 03:07 am
Yeah . . . you know it all, right Bubba?
 

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