Bullies at school.

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This is a tough subject for me and my wife...

She never dealt with the pickings on that i got growing up. But i have two boys that will be in school this fall...they are still young.

They know to tell an adult if they get picked on.

But after a certain point i've always felt that never worked.

If you kid gets bullied,,,and he tried to be better person several times and walk away and not give the bully what he wants.

Would what you do if your kid decided to take to take matters into his own hand and kick some butt.

I never did this myself, always being afraid of being suspended etc. that was my biggest fear.

I got so nervous sometimes i illegally armed my self and kept things in my car, like pipe and baseball bats.

I always told my parents about the endless bullying but got the same text book stand up for yourself answer that was never elaborated on.

I could rarely count on a divided answer on the subject. you know that thing where dad would hi five something your mom didn't approve of.

Anyone out there with this little dilemma.

Im not whining about my past or looking for a pity party....i come seeking advice. Smile

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Hmm....psychological warfare. That's what I did as a child. A good sense of humour won the favour of some bullies, who then became my friends, and beat the crap out of other bullies who bothered me. Interestingly enough, a lot of them are lawyers now. Never underestimate good communication skills.

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Yeah, I got some bullies on my side. Go read my self esteem thread. I got myself hooked up with a "green" skinhead guy. That was one step, the other was the fact that i was a top speed runner. i didn't win any races or nothin like that but i had one hell of a sprint for a long time and could dodge down a crowded hallway pretty quick.

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When you say bullying, are you talking about physical violence?

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Personally, if it is for self defense, I am so for violence. I find it absurd when kids are punished for defending themselves. But if they hit him first your kid could just get them expelled.

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Scoates that's what i meant physical as as emotional.

Go read my other thread about abadnoning....you may see where im coming from.

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Funny, Hulk Guy, I mentioned a bit about this on another thread of yours! Smile

I don't have any advice about bullies, though. My kids were fortunate to be tall and muscular, so weren't really threatened to that extent. At least you have the two of them to back eachother up.
Keep the lines of communication open so you'll have a good handle on anything that arises.

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Martial arts classes for kids can be a great confidence builder, and character building as well. At a good school, the kids will learn to diffuse a situation before the need to fight, but if pushed into it, will have some skills.

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You're right, cav. My son's been taking karate for two and a half years. He's up to "Recommended Black Belt." It was the best decision we ever made. The character building is amazing. These little boys always start out thinking they're going to learn how to kill people, but in fact they learn self-control, personal responsibility and how to avoid fights (among other things.) My son's instructor did a whole series for his students last summer on dealing with bullies. No fancy kicks or chops needed...just keeping your head in the right place is the key.

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Just make sure the other kids don't know he's taking martial arts.

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I'm with SCoates! At least until he's gotten some skill and confidence. Where I'm from, that would just entice bullies to take him on. Many would think it's dorky enough to merit a beatin'.
But since they're still very young, maybe the boys will be skilled before they have to worry about being picked on. That would be good.

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I never had issues with bullying personally, but I always stood up for myself. I think I would handle it, by discussing other ways of handling the situation. Sort of role-play. I would also stress the fact that they should stand up for themselves, but physical confrontations should only be in self-defense. My daughter at 4 years old told me about a little girl who would pull her hair. I did the role play thing and also discussed why the girl may be doing this. For example, my daughter has beautiful long curly hair and the other girl has very short straight hair. Maybe this girl is jealous that she does not have long hair. I told my daughter, tell her that you do not like it and if she continues you will not play with her any more. If she continues just walk away from her.

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Interesting; this topic (anti-bullying, not A2K's specific link) is mentioned in the NY Times today as being THE issue on the minds of camp counselors.

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Bullies at school.

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