Saw a guy today that looked a helluva lot like Kim Il Sung, who was treated like a living god in his time. Best I can do today. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.
@FBM,
John Wayne and Elvis Presley.
@edgarblythe,
I suspected them all along...
LAZARUS COME FORTH!
I can't I'm dead.
I found out there truly is a god years ago. It all happened when I went to see Side-door Sally, but came up a little short.
I had slapped down a whole 37 cents, cash money, but Sally was insisting on the standard four bits. I said: I'll pay you the rest later, Sally. She said: Your credit ain't no good, Layman, everybody knows that...four bits.
I said: How about a volume discount, Sally? I mean, ****, how many hundreds of times have I paid the full four bits, I ask ya? Just this once, eh?
Sally: Four bits, Layman.
I threatened to NEVER come back. She said: Fine, your always a pain anyway.
I begged like a five year old---all it got me was "Four bits, Layman."
Finally I headed back out toward the street, and, lo and behold, right there in the middle of the alley, was exactly 13 cents--two nickels, and three pennies. I scooped it right up and headed straight back to Sally.
Who else, but God, put that money there? NOBODY, that's who!
“Think of someone you know who's not saved but you may be afraid to share the Gospel with that person. I've found a way that's radically effective in training people to share the Gospel.”
― Kirk Cameron
I suppose you would need to search his youtubes to get that vital information. I merely lifted this off a quotes page. A warning to beware wolves bearing gifts.
Besides, no one can assure me there would be ham and bacon in Heaven.
If there truly were manna, I would not need to go in to work this morning.
@FBM,
I went outside to check, but the sky was clear, after last night's big rain. The Lord done screwed me over, if anything at all is manna.
@edgarblythe,
Hmm. Maybe you should unsubscribe from that Lord and look for a better provider...damn fine print. You never know what you're paying for these days...
Walking the dogs sunday morning I saw a kitten. Walking back I saw it again. It had moved maybe 20 feet along the base of a paling fence. The dogs were keen to say hello but something felt wrong. Took the dogs home and went back to see if it was ok. It had a nasty limp and a cut under its left eye. It had a collar. I took it home. With spectacle enhanced vision mremrs hinge and I transcribed the number on its locket. It was the people next door. I had found Zamora half a block away. We said we thought she needed a vet as we handed her over.
mrs hinge isconvinced no one cares as much about animals as she does. She waited to see if their car left, then went back to see if they had a car. They didn't, the husband left before dawn. Later the two daughters came over to say zamora had a broken pelvis caused by a 'tom cat or car' and had been given painkillers.
Mrs hinge composed an elaborate text message about how she could help look after zamora if ladtlady was jugglingtwo school age kids and household. Deeply concerned vet story was a guilt ruse. Today lady came over and told mrs h zamora had died. Mrs h brokedown to lady's shock. Mrs h feels guilty because if we hadnt called the number on collar we would have taken kitty to vet and hang the expense to save her.
Thanks god.
@FBM,
Quote:Hmm. Maybe you should unsubscribe from that Lord and look for a better provider
If you're lookin for a little extra cash from a supernatural being, forget that cheap-ass God. Check out the Devil. He gave me a whole dollar for my worthless soul, the chump!
@edgarblythe,
All of those suggestions are lame, Ed. Just terminating their miserable existence is far too good a fate for those degenerates.
Torture, of the most painful variety, implemented 24/7 for months, weeks, years, and decades on end would be far more appropriate, I figure.
I always wanted to be put on a pillory and humiliated like Quasimodo was before getting stoned to death. Shotguns are too easy.
