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common app essay on failure

 
 
Saluja
 
Reply Sat 3 Jan, 2015 01:46 am
Like every other normal girl, I with my other friends was gossiping and laughing at the most random stuffs ever. Just then I saw one of my class mate burst in tears. I ran towards her to inquire her about her agony. I gave her a tight hug and asked what happened and if I could be of any help. I failed my pre-boards she said. Just a few weeks ago, we the tenth graders had given our pre-boards. Agitated by the fact that our results had been published. I ran towards the notice board to learn my own result. Passing by many happy faces as well as some teary eyes. I reached the notice board. I scanned through the list and searched for my name. Skimmed through the results once, twice, thrice….. I could not fine my name on this list.
“I got an 88”. I heard someone shout with excitement beside me. It was one of my best friends. With a heavy heart and eyes filled with tears I congratulated her. She could see the disappointment in my face so, she slowly hugged me and told me that everything is going to be alright and this is not the end. I kind of broke down. I had failed my science test. As time passed by I had to appear different evaluation test. I tried but I could not pass any of my science test. Science had been a nightmare for me. I found it very hard. But I did not give up. I studied science day and night, I revised each chapter thoroughly. Now, a month was left for our boards to appear, I was really very nervous, I did believe in myself and consoled myself that I will succeed. I got a passing grade in my evaluation. Slowly my grades were improving. My friends who were good in science helped me .
Finally, the day was there, I appeared my boards and it went really very good. After few months the result was out and I got very good marks. After that I even took science as a major subject in my +2 and passed it. Slowly I got interested in science, and today I want to become an engineer. “Science “, once I considered to be a nightmare is something I love right now. Had I given up at that time my life would have been something different.
” Failure is the key to success, each mistakes teaches us something” as said by Morehei Ueshibe. I believe through determination and knowledge gained from previous failures, you can only reach success. No matter how many times you fail at something, there’s always that strength of mind to do better next time. Each and every pathway we go down in life is a learning experience. We learn from our mistakes. Nothing is impossible if you try it and give some more effort on it. After the hard times, you will feel stronger which helps to create the person you are today. Failure is not a bad thing at all, it is the greatest sign to success.
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jespah
 
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Reply Sat 3 Jan, 2015 09:19 am
@Saluja,
You're using the verb appeared incorrectly, for starters.

Don't put quotation marks around the word science - it's not a quote or a title or a statement of irony. It's science. Quotation marks are not used for emphasis.

Don't pluralize the term stuff. In fact, try not to use it much at all - you were gossiping and laughing, period. No need to add a few more padding words.

You say, "we tenth graders had given our pre-boards". You're not giving the test (your teacher is); you're taking the test, in idiomatically correct English.

Don't use the term alright - it's incorrect. Yes, it's starting to appear as being acceptable, but you are trying to show off your education in this essay, yes? Then use the actual, correct term, which is a phrase: all right.

You might want to go over your essay with a dictionary in front of you, and see the real meaning of a lot of the words that you're using, okay? It's salvageable, but a lot of the language is being used incorrectly, and that is going to be a big problem for you when you hand this in.
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