@dalehileman,
dalehileman wrote:Nonetheless however, my point being that many seem to consider the lower case okay
I have found (to my surprise) that some guides do allow this... Jane Straus, in "The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation" says in the section on question marks:
Rule 1. Use a question mark only after a direct question.
Correct: Will you go with me?
Incorrect: I'm asking if you will go with me?
Rule 2a. A question mark replaces a period at the end of a sentence.
Incorrect: Will you go with me?.
Rule 2b. Because of Rule 2a, capitalize the word that follows a question mark.
Some writers choose to overlook this rule in special cases.
Example: Will you go with me? with Joe? with anyone?
Also, using a question mark as a kind of comma, I found this at thepunctuationguide.com:
Direct questions within a sentence
When a direct question occurs within a larger sentence, it takes a question mark. Note that in the examples below, the question mark supplants the comma that would syntactically belong in its place.
Would they make it on time? she wondered.
The key question, Can the two sides reach a compromise? was not answered.
“What are we having for dinner?” his son asked.
It seems that some (but not all) people allow question marks to interrupt, rather than terminate, a sentence. I was going to suggest it is a US versus British English difference, but I found a guide published by North Carolina Stae University where the capitalization-after-question-mark issue is answered thus: "The individual questions are independent sentences and are punctuated and capitalized as such. "