Billy Hero was disgusted by Spears' morals, and proposed to Yoko instead.
But Yoko was hooked on the King - and suddenly the bus lurched to a halt, in the middle of a dried up river bed.
"Well, folks," the driver said, unbuckling his seat belt, "I have no idea how this bus from DC to Atlanta ended up in a dried up river bed but it's not my problem cause I"ve done my hours for today so have a nice night and, oh yes, thank you for riding Greyhound and watch out for the snakes."
It seemed that they would be going nowhere, so they tried to think of a game that would keep them amused until a dried-up-river-bed-technician came around.
So the bus is mired down and the passengers appear to be stranded for the night. I wish I had had time to put on the bus a few other characters:
Griffin, the frat boy who was tossed out of Middle Colorado State College and Reverend Shifflette, who would see this as a captive audience for fishing for souls and, really, an old gospel singing character from a long time ago on another thread. (Characters I invented for other stories that went nowhere).
But we have this little cast so there they are, mired evidentally for the night. And snakes?
The above people were sent to the bus by the Vietnamese church of the latter day saints; hallelujáh!
So should we mention that heavy thunderstorm clouds are forming up in the mountains and that an inch or so of rain up there can turn a dried-up river bed into a raging torrent, which may not happen, of course, but it could and if it did it would flush a greyhound bus away like a ...
gnat on a mouldy apricot under a hose.
Speaking of which, Yoko opened her backpack and began to pass around overripe fruit to the hungry passengers.
One of the passengers, a small Chinese man with a coolie hat rakishly draped on his head, reached into his backpack and pulled out an old brown book of Chinese chants. Beads of sweat formed on his neck as he began to chant.
He was chanting something about nacho hats and cancelled episodes of Family Guy.
Elvis leaned over to Gary Coleman, smiled menacingly, and said, "You know, I once ate a small boy about your size when I was trapped in a bus like this on a tour in 1963."
Gary Coleman, however, was not one to be messed with, and he tried to scare away the King with his Kung-fu stylings.
Gary Coleman's groupies, two mutant-looking creatures called Janet and Susy, swooned.
Elvis, who had developed a grudging admiration for Coleman in light of his prowess at both martial arts and attracting groupies, decided that perhaps Yoko's fruit would make a better lunch than the small, black man after all and reached for a bunch of seedless green grapes and a banana.
Elvis was onto the all-fruit diet, now; Atkins never did do him any good.
Having learned his lessons about drug dependency and bad nutrition, Elvis had been hiding out in the Arizona desert for the past twelve years running an elite and extremely expensive health spa called "The King's Ransom."
Ransom = calorie count
Rescue = biscuits and gravy
Choice: which will you choose to march ahead in morning light?
Elvis capitulated and chose the biscuits and gravy...it had been several days since he had eaten.
