So the separatists went up to the beach house which overlooked this hedonist's wildest paradise, and when they got to the living room, there were the Bush sisters on the couch with Michael Moore and a bunch of angry-looking nihilists, watching not Jeopardy, but "MTV Cribs", which, coincidentally was doing a live show from the very beach house they were now in.
Michael Moore set down his drink as he eyed the Bush sisters; in his attempt to make conversation, he said, "Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable."
The Nihilists were discussing the difference between blunts and joints with Jenna Bush, as she passed the too-thin joint (according to Jenna, at least) to Snoop Dogg, who was putting the moves on Barbie Bush, who was finishing off her third Tequila shot and smiling back at him hungrily; as a result, nobody appeared to notice when Michael Moore dropped his pants and said "I got your Dick and Bush, right here, sisters!", laughing madly.
That was happening at the same time Connie Chung burst in the front door, followed by Morey, or was it Maury, or a third possibility, Moron - well, in any case, Connie had taken her old microphone out of storage for this special occasion.
She came, it seemed, in the mistaken belief that this was a post-modern documentary about Martha Stewart, in which Michael Moore was Martha.
Connie was appalled at the scene, but Maury, sensing the makings of a ratings bonanza for his declining talk show, began by asking the addled Bush twins how many joints they had smoked since arriving.
They started counting on their fingers and toes, but soon got confused.
It was hard to keep count because of all the rings.
The conspirators were getting restless watching the Bush girls bend over and try to sing the numbers song, so they called in the one woman who would help them with this; the veritable Cæsar for the 21st century, Rikki Lake.
Rikki, caressing her microphone as if it were a pet pekinese, lumbered down the steps towards them, wearing an unattractive black trouser suit and violently coloured blouse.
Little did they know, she was an infiltrator; not for Bush, but for Nader.
Rikki tried to wedge her way in to get an interview with the still-pantsless Michael Moore, which prompted Connie Chung to shout, "Oh, you think you gonna play me like dat? It's on now, beeyatch!"
All they needed now was Montel to come in, after hearing about an untrousered Moore, and then they were away.
With strangers who offered sweets?
They had an announcement to make, you see.
They would all hold hands and do the announcement in song and dance.
Montel and Moore started arguing; Moore wanted to sing the announcement to the tune of 'Who is Sylvia,' whereas Montel wanted to sing it power-ballad-stylè to 'I believe I can fly;' it was disastrous, to show such disunity.
