No edit necessary. My ref to Billy Hero belongs a little further up but who cares. So the principal walks into the bathroom and the three jocks try to make themselves look invisible. Ships is standing there naked, wringing out his shorts in the sink with his hair dripping wet.
Continue, please...
"And I suppose you have a perfectly logical explanation for this?" the principal asked, one eyebrow raised.
Ships bowed his head in humiliationÂ…and then he felt Principal Mastroianni's arm slowly wrap around his naked shoulder!
Ronnie and Billy ran out of the restroom in horror at the thought of what the lecherous old principal might have in mind for Ships, but the other boy grinned and began removing his own clothes...and soon he stood there, Buck naked.
(Buck Naked.
)
Principal M. reached down and grabbed Ships' underwear, and to both of the boys' horror, began sniffing furiously at the odious chocolate-colored and peanut butter-textured mess.
Well, I can't let Marcello do this in some sort of fictional whohah, so let me say that
the principle nabbed a clutch of peanut butter bars, frankly an american concoction, but still, not the right thing for the boys of this academy.
He then shook the peanut butter bars at the two remaining boys, shouting at them, "How can you have any peanut butter bars if you don't eat yer meat?!"
did you say, beat your meat?...
...No, I didn't think so.
Suddenly the door swung open, and Giovanni, covered from head to foot in gold leaf, stood, an amused smirk on his gilded features, looking at the naked, embarrassed bunch, the head with his nose covered in peanuts.
Part of Giovanni felt at home with this scene; but he knew that he had to phone the one person who best dealt with gross indecency...
...he would summon Michael Jackson himself.
He picked up the telephone, gave Michael a ring, and in five minues, his familiar face popped out from a van selling Oreos; Giovanni was thus beckoned toward the Oreo-van.
Strange biscotti, he opined.
They started driving towards the beach.
And there, at the edge of the water, a bonfire raged, and Giovanni couldn't get over how many celebrities were in attendance at the party, or how reckless and celebratory was their mood.
Giovanni was a little self-conscious at first because he was gilded in gold from head to foot, along with everything (EVERYTHING) in between but no one took any special notice of him: the Bush twins were there!
Once the band began to play, the King of Pop stepped out of the Oreo van and began grabbing his crotch in rhythm with the music, and soon the Bush twins, Giovanni, and the rest of the crowd began dancing, writhing and gyrating in unison.
But where were the special party aides..
They were seperatists; they found that Barry Manilow and that 'Love Shack' song were far better than Michael Jackson, and so the aides-de-camp were planning on killing both Bushes in the women's toilets.
But, jeez, the port-a-johns stank bad, really, really bad so the separtists decided to back off and think about how really, really serious they were about this whole thing and , besides, Jeopardy was coming on and there's this dude on there who is really smart and they like somehow to watch people who appear to be smarter than they are.
