'But how the hell could I ever love a dog,' she thought.
Scout arrived home to find Fifi in bed.....
with Linton.
Scout was divided between wishing to bite Linton's ear off, and leaving them to be;-- 'I never loved Fifi,' Scout thought; 'I loved Elinor;' Scout ran away, with one thought in his mind.
The thought he had in his mind was: the next time I chase that tail, it's not going to escape me!
With the sun's first rays, Scout found himself back in human form, lying on Elinor's doorstep.
He was found, in quite a state, by Elinor's maiden aunt.
"Would you like some toilet water with your tea," the maiden aunt asked.
Scout , blinking in the sunlight , quickly realized he was still licking himself clean from last nights escapades , jumped up blushing, " Sorry Ma'am , but I will have to charge you for that little show wether you intended to see it or not" he said ....trying to cover his tracks........and embarassment.
The Maiden Aunt closed the door in his face with shock.
Grabbing the small red house slipper from her porch step , he covered his manhood and dashed across the street hoping not to be seen.
But she felt a certain flush of something (what? something she hadn't felt for years; nay, decades) and it was vaguely exciting and it was, umm, exciting but not perhaps in the way that yall's perverted minds are thinking. -rjb-
Scout quickly ducked into a costume shop across the street from Elinor's apartment and put on the first outfit he saw.
It was a Mighty Joe Young gorilla suit.
Mighty Joe Young, 1949
Dashing out the door he stumbled into a police officer, dejectedly mumbling to himself in latin.
(hahahahahahaha, says Osso) but these words don't count..
He murmured, "amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant", clutching his gorilla nose.
The officer panicked, threw his gun in the air, turned, and ran screaming down the street.
Scout watching the cop run squeezed the red slipper in his hands and quietly remembered the 'flushed' feeling....his shoe fetish was coming back after all those years of Zoloft and psycho-therapy..."">sigh<... things cant get any worse" he thought rubbing his thumb in the warm molded sole of the houseslipper.
Scout was torn; he was unaware of Elinor's love, and wisht to disturb her; 'which would be more disturbing,' he asked himself: 'to be a shoe-fetishist, or to be a gorilla who mumbles Latin conjugations?'
A simpler solution would be to take OFF the suit, hide the shoe and go to her... but simplicity was not his thing, not since fate delt him this horrible hand.
