In a little house on the prairies, there lived a big ugly warthog, it's name was Oinky-Boink; Now Oinky-Boink was very fond of Bunky-Bonk a female warthog who lived in a swamp near Tesco's in Upper Netherton
Netherton Drive is a road near to where I was brought up. It has a hill, and we used to go sledging there in winter.
Winter in the old country brings back many happy memories. Downunder winter is a whole new experience.
Winter is the most magical time of the year. It was when Natasha in War and Peace took that sleigh ride in the fur bonnet which was oh,oh so much sexier that those sunbronzed Amazons in Baywatch pretending they are blokes.
Pipped is a word which adequately describes most of the blokes I know. What can I do about it?
It behoves you to admit defeat. Play the game properly and everything will be fine.
Experience (where the game got sidetracked) might tell us not to marry, cross the road, leave anything unlocked or buy anything on credit if we are to lead carefree lives. It would be wrong.
Wrong is but a falsehood put in practice. The remedy is to forget it.
It came to fruition one afternoon in mid September, Alf thought it was a whirlwind, it wasn't, but we had never seen anything like it.
It? What gives with all this "it"?
IT girls used to have sex appeal but now they just have computer skills. Which could be useful.
Useful technological devices such as Ever Ready Long Life batteries have been a boon to bored housewives ever since devices were invented to take best advantage of them. It is the obvious result of harnessing hydro-electric power, nuclear reactions or fossil fuel conversion units.
( Is "its" okay Mac? I'm worried that more than one "it" might get you flustered).
Units of measurement have played a crucial role in human endeavour from early ages up to this day. Disparate systems of measurement used to be very common.
Common myths about life in the twentieth century include the existence of exotic reptiles in the sewage system that had been flushed down toilets. Another one was that every tenth condom was made with a tear or hole.
Hole drilling is a common method when experts are prospecting for ores and oil. It is a waste of time and money when they drill in the wrong place.
Place is a term that has a variety of meanings in a dictionary sense. It usually denotes a location.
Location, location, location is the cry of the house buyers and agents. There was an amazing segment of Newsnight about Totnes house prices the other night, which made me think I have prime location and could I ask half a million?
Million, are we talking about serious money here or simply being proposterously naive in the terms of housing prices?
Prices have tripled here so we are talking of that sort of thing, half a million. And I haven't got a vast estate of beautiful gardens or even a parking space nearby!
