We do the same thing over here, Lordy. Although more often we call it a major league ass-kicking.
Mon 13 Oct, 2014 03:57 pm
Lemme 'splain, Lordie.
We have a game called 'football' that is as unlike your 'football' as possible without having our game being played using a big rock or a beer barrel to score points.
Eleven men on two sides square off, taking turns (or downs) to try to move a ball shaped like a parabola across goal lines located at the narrow ends of a rectangularily shaped field. We paint numbers and stripes on the field in order to keep track of far the ball has been moved. Each side is actually composed of two squads of eleven, one tries to move the ball, the other acts to stop the other team from moving the ball. At no time do any of these players touch the ball with their foot.
If a team moves the ball, either by running with it or by one guy throwing it to another player in the end zone, they score a touchdown, even though they don't have to touch the ball to the ground in order to score, in fact, if the ball touched the ground, it wouldn't count.
How much does a touchdown count?
In your football, if a player put the ball in the net, his team gets...ONE point.
In our football, if a team makes a touchdown, they get ....SIX points.
Because we value using your feet less than using your hands.
You only get ONE point if the kicker (YES, there is a guy who KICKS the ball) puts the ball through the uprights after a touchdown. OR
the team get THREE points if the kicker can kick it through from the field of play.
Wait, you say, isn't it harder to kick a parabola shaped ball a long distance accurately, yet a kick scores less points than a touchdown??? I know. It's just part of the stupidity er, complexity of the game.
We also count lots of other stuff, we count tackles, we count sacks, we count yards gained or lost on the ground or in the air, NONE of which gives either team any points. We just like to know.
Good explanation of that weird Murrican football. Bears no resemblance at all to any other game called football.
Fair question, Lordy, 'bout the pitcher - he probably holds the magic water!
Thu 30 Oct, 2014 11:06 am
Just one thing though. What does the pitcher do when all this stuff is going on?
The pitcher (although he may also be referred to as the "flunky") stands around on the sidelines and squirts water from a bottle into the player's mouth, usually when the player is too tired to keep chasing the guy with the ball or running with the ball from the guy chasing him with the ball and has to run off the field to catch his breath. It is a very unappreciated and often overlooked job and I am sure is well underpaid, but somebody has to do it.