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How to ask a co-worker to give you space without hurting her feelings?

 
 
1nicole
 
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 06:57 pm
I share a very small office with a co-worker.We both have long tables as our desk along with file cabinets and basically our own little space, which is fairly comfortable. Well, we also have a newer co-worker (Chiropractor) who has her own office that's bigger than ours. On her first day she wanted to sit in our office so she can get a better idea of how things work. So I pulled a chair from the hall into our office and sat it by my office mate desk. Now, 6 months later she sits in our office all day along, in between seeing the patients. Not only does her conversation irritate the both of us (office mate replies more to her to show interest), she has negative energy and when we disagree or don't reply to her she tries to redirect her words to match ours and says whatever she can to try to fit into the conversation. She is also in the way. We have to constantly say "excuse me" and practically be bumping into each other. She is also very sensitive and hates sitting in her own office. I think she is starting to pick up on my vibe that she is becoming annoying and clingy. I have a feeling I am going to end up hurting her feelinsg but I don't want to. How should I ask her to sit in her own office sometimes without hurting her feelings? Any advice will be greatly appreciated...... : )
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 777 • Replies: 5
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chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 07:26 pm
@1nicole,
How about if you and your co-worker rearrange the space so that it would be impossible for the 3rd person to have a place to sit?

If the third person says something, tell her it helps your work flow.

Or, since her office is bigger than yours, how about if you and co-work start mentioning where it might be better if you two took the larger space, letting the chiropractor have your existing space, so you two "no longer bother her".

It would be best to be able to do something in such a way that it looks like (or actually does) benefit the 3rd person.
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 07:56 pm
@1nicole,
Rearranging the office space is a great idea from Chai. Make sure you have
no additional chair in the room except yours and your office mates. If she
doesn't get the hint (and people like that rarely do), you probably have to
tell her that you and your office mate are a good team and it is distracting
you the two of you if you have a third person in the room.

Take the blame that you are the ones who cannot adapt to third person in
the room as it interrupts your work flow.

Buy her a nice plant for her desk in her own office to make it more
appealing and tell her that you'll visit often and do so at the beginning.
1nicole
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 08:23 pm
@chai2,
Thank Chai! That's a great idea to rearrange the office being as though i'm the office manager and the office mate is the tech so we both have to be up front. It's definitely worth trying. Though I asked my office mate if i should just put the chair back where it was today and she said "NO" that would be kinda mean.... I think i'm going to suggest the rearranging tomorrow! Thanks again
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1nicole
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 08:29 pm
@CalamityJane,
@calamity great feedback! I certainly hope she does not ask because her feelings get hurt very easily and I would think she may never come back in our office lol.....she is one of those ruff around the edges but deeply wounded at the smallest joke. I will definitely try your suggestion as well : ) Thank again missy.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 09:11 pm
@1nicole,
btw, when I had to move offices for awhile to a different town/location, I found out that what was to be my office had been used by everyone as a passthrough from the administrative area, to the patient area. Even the doctors did that. There were 2 doors, one leading to the rest of the administrative area, and one opening directly on the patient care area.

No matter how much I asked, people just kept barging through. Finally I took a bunch of heavy boxes filled with files and stacked them up right in front of the closed door I didn't want used.
I heard some comments from co-workers, and even one of the doctors once walked into my office with a new patient, and stopped dead in front of the now inaccessible door. She said "You blocked the door!" I, facing my computer and looking very busy just said "Hmmm? Oh, yes" and continued to work.

Maybe it'd be best if you didn't make a big deal about it if you decide to rearrange, with big planned out explanations. If she says "There's no place for me to sit now!" Just look busy and say "Oh, yeah. We rearranged." If she asks why say "Hmmm? Oh, it just works better" and look busy.
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