COMMON APP ESSAY "PERSPECTIVE" (place where you are perfectly content)

it would be super helpful is you guys could read through this and let me know what I need to fix and anything I need to clear up, thanks!
---the prompt is describe a place/environment where you are perfectly content. what do you experience there and why is it meaningful to you?

Perspective

Boketto (Japanese): gazing vacantly into the distance.

A few years ago, at the start of freshman year, a few friends and I joined a youth group called Young Life. Our intentions were clear, although they were not to strengthen our relationship with God as they were expected to be. Young Life’s weekly meetings set out to be filled with interactive games and song singing- the highlight of my dreaded Mondays. At the end of each meeting we would all sit on the floor and listen as one of the leaders read to us from the bible and told a very wise and relatable story that got you thinking of those things you usually want to keep buried in your subconscious. But more importantly we would end the night praying- something that coincidently brought me trouble. I fell into a cognitive dissonance; there I was sitting crisscross applesauce, hands intertwined so tightly as if to keep my secret from escaping, praying with these people who are genuinely devoted to God when I am not even sure I really believe in Him.

But I’m glad I got out what I did not put in.

Later that year in July, I attended the Young Life summer camp. The slogan, “Best week of your life” could not have said it any better. At first I saw this as only a place and time to hang out with my friends, go parasailing, tubing, and all the other fun things that come with summer camp. Not to mention the surprisingly good food. But my eyes opened wider that Thursday. Roughly a hundred of us were gathered into a large room that evening-nothing out of the ordinary- until instead of the usually introduction to the crazy camp night we had ahead of us, we were told to sit and watch a video. There was talk of this night, as hard as the second-timers were trying not to spill the secret. The talk and video we were about to have, they labeled as the “Cross Talk”. It was, in the simplest words, a video about Jesus on the cross and the brutality he experienced.

I didn’t need to look around to know there was not a single dry eye in the room. Far from it, actually. We were told to go anywhere in the entire campus and be alone with our thoughts for a little while. There’s something special about sitting on the road, alone, cold, balling your eyes out. And as much as we were all crying, you could hear a pin drop. It’s funny, whenever I think about this moment, my memory is lifted and I see everything from a bird’s eye view. I see a hundred kids alone, yards away, but all together. In the darkness of the night, exploring their own mind.

Boketto. It wasn’t until I was gazing vacantly into the distance that I realized how amazing it was. The moment I experienced pure emotion. Have you ever felt everything all at once? Happiness: because there have so much love to give and receive. Sadness: because what you just saw is so unbelievably cruel. Excitement: because you can’t wait to see what the future holds for you. And Heartbroken: because you feel so incredibly sick to your stomach at how barbaric this world can be to one another. Have you ever witnessed such beautiful darkness? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I could never begin to explain how happy I was to be sad. The world stopped for a moment. I didn’t care about what I saw on twitter the other week or who’s doing that thing I wasn’t invited to. I stepped out of myself for a second and saw the world how it was meant to be seen.
And I have been going back every year since.