I'm in love with a teacher who is twenty years older than me. She teaches at university and I'm NOT underage.
I'm planning to ask her out after the course is over but I'm not sure what her reaction would be. She's very sweet and funny, we always make eye contact, talk, and I have caught her looking at me a couple of times. Plus, I know she isn't married and she doesn't have kids. What are my chances? Have you ever gone through something similar? I'm desperated!
given that you'll still be attending the same university, I'd say she'd be stupid to go out with you. It is still a firing offense for an instructor to date a student at enough universities for that to be a problem for her career - whether or not it is a firing offense at your particular school. Word travels about relationships between instructors and students - the academic world is small and gossipy.
Talk to other students about this - having crushes on people in powerful roles is not unusual - you just have to learn how to manage those crushes.
Love/in love - both are heavily freighted words/phrases.
Your chances are as good for you as they are for anyone else taking the risk of expressing their interest in someone and asking for a date.
that's not correct. Professors are hyper-aware of the dangers of students asking them out and are much more likely to say no than the average crushee who doesn't have a career to protect.
Sat 12 Jul, 2014 01:34 pm
Have you ever gone through something similar?
for reference, I've got a number of friends who are instructors and professors and have to deal with this sort of crush on a horribly regular basis. They tell me it's one of the more unpleasant parts of their profession -having to put people off/not doing anything that might be seen as encouraging of the people with crushes on them.
Sat 12 Jul, 2014 01:41 pm
I would add that the dynamic of being taught by someone you like can be rather powerful, but once the class ends, you may feel differently. Once that dynamic goes away, it tends to remove a lot of the basis for the crush.