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Sun 8 Jun, 2014 03:21 am
Dear teachers,
I wonder if someone could correct my translations into French. I would really appreciate it.
English text:
The celebrated singer of the Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger – born Michael Philip Jagger on 26 July 1943 in Dartford, Kent, England – has become less a pop star than a media icon. Initially a shy, middle-class student at the London School of Economics, his love of blues, distinctive vocal style and charismatic stage persona marked him out as an original. The image of Jagger has arguably been as crucial to the ultimate long-term success of the Rolling Stones as the quality of their songwriting and music. The antithesis of the pretty-boy lead vocalists of the era, Jagger’s demeanour, rubber lips and scarecrow body were initially greeted with bemusement by the pop magazines of the time. What Jagger did was to reinforce those apparent pop star deficiencies and, with remarkable effect, transform them into commodities. The lascivious stage presence was emphasized to such a degree that Jagger became both an appealing and strikingly odd-looking pop star. His self-reconstruction even extended as far as completely altering his accent.
Translation:
The celebrated singer of the rolling Stones, Mick Jagger – born Michael Philip Jagger on 26 July 1943 in Dartford, Kent, England – has become less a pop star than a media icon.
Mick Jagger, le célèbre chanteur des Rolling Stones – de son vrai nom Michael Philip Jagger, né le 26 juillet 1943 à Dartford, dans le Kent, en Angleterre – devint davantage une icône médiatique qu’une pop star.
Initially a shy, middle-class student at the London School of Economics, his love of blues, distinctive vocal style and charismatic stage persona marked him out as an original.
Issu d’un milieu bourgeois, il était au départ un étudiant timide à la prestigieuse London School of Economics, son amour / sa passion du blues, son style vocal / son timbre de voix particulier/singulier/très personnel et son charisme sur scène
a) firent probablement de lui un personnage hors du commun.
b) lui valurent la réputation d'une personne hors-nome.
The image of Jagger has arguably been as crucial to the ultimate long-term success of the Rolling Stones as the quality of their songwriting and music.
a) L'image de Jagger participa, dit-on, autant au long succès / à la longue popularité des Rolling Stones que la qualité de leurs textes/paroles et leurs mélodies.
b) On dit que l'image de Jagger participa autant, sur le long terme, au succès / à la popularité des Rolling Stones que la qualité de leurs compositions.
[Je n'ai pas traduit "ultimate" car ça rendrait la phrase en français trop longue pour pas grand-chose, à mon avis.]
The antithesis of the pretty-boy lead vocalists of the era, Jagger’s demeanour, rubber lips and scarecrow body were initially greeted with bemusement by the pop magazines of the time.
Jagger était l’antithèse des chanteurs principaux jolis garçons / beaux garçons de l’époque. Son comportement, ses lèvres pneumatiques/pulpeuses / ses grosses lèvres, son corps squelettique / son allure d’épouvantail laissèrent, au premier abord, les magazines de musique pop du moment quelque peu perplexes.
What Jagger did was to reinforce those apparent pop star deficiencies and, with remarkable effect, transform them into commodities.
La réponse de Jagger fut de renforcer ces caractéristiques a priori problématiques pour une pop star et les transformer en atouts avec une remarquable efficacité (?).
The lascivious stage presence was emphasized to such a degree that Jagger became both an appealing and strikingly odd-looking pop star.
La présence lascive de Jagger sur scène fut
a) tellement mise en évidence
b) soulignée/accentuée à tel point
qu’il devint une pop star qui attirait malgré son air on ne peut plus bizarre.
His self-reconstruction even extended as far as completely altering his accent.
Pour reconstruire son personnage, il adopta même un accent complètement différent.
Thank you very much for your help.