Is this rape?

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Is it rape when you fall asleep then a guy who you decide to stay with just for the night, is on top of you and is making out with you, grabbing you, and much more. Then he decides to start taking your clothes off and starts having sex with you. He did ask are you okay with this but I was at a vulnerable point I was a runaway, and I was asleep. And all I said was I don't know and I guess when truly I wasn't wanting to, and I truly felt violated. Then a few hours later he said round two, and I have a hard time saying "no", I always have, so I said I guess again hoping he would get the clue I really didn't want to do it. Is this rape? Should I report it? When it happened this morning?!

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@Kayla Marie ,

Yes. Go and report it, for God's sake, while there's still a chance of there being some evidence on your person.

Go NOW.

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Why are you asking this on a forum? Why not a cop, a minister, a friend, an adult, a doctor, a lawyer, a parent, a sibling, a councilor, a hot-line, a walk in clinic ............ just gotta wonder why you ask me a stranger.......?

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Sorry, but unless you actually yelled "Stop it. No" then what you had was reluctant sex.

He DID ask you if it was OK and you didn't express yourself. It's going to be your word against his.

Sorry - you must NOT get yourself in this situation again.

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@Kayla Marie ,

Kayla Marie wrote:

Is it rape when you fall asleep then a guy who you decide to stay with just for the night, is on top of you and is making out with you, grabbing you, and much more. Then he decides to start taking your clothes off and starts having sex with you. He did ask are you okay with this but I was at a vulnerable point I was a runaway, and I was asleep. And all I said was I don't know and I guess when truly I wasn't wanting to, and I truly felt violated. Then a few hours later he said round two, and I have a hard time saying "no", I always have, so I said I guess again hoping he would get the clue I really didn't want to do it. Is this rape? Should I report it? When it happened this morning?!

2ice, she said: "I guess" when asked.
Now she considers felonious prosecution
because of his failure to have telepathic knowledge
that she was thinking: "No."

About a year ago, I hired a female assistant.
She has been clever, good at her work. I approve.
I have been generous with recognition of the value
of her service both with money (bonuses) and praise.

For several months, I have been picking up clues
that she is a little mad at me for my failure to have become amorous.
When addressing her, my demeanor has been non-emotional, just business.
I dont want her for a lover. She is good, as a platonic friend.
There have been indications that she has been complaining
of this state-of-affairs ( or non-state-of-affairs )
to her female friends n relatives. I dont care about that,
but the OP shows that thay get mad at u either way.

At least I am not being threatened with the police.

I believe that u r less likely to be accused of rape,
if u have had no sex whatsoever with the complainant.
That is my legal theory. In terms of safety from the law,
I think u can get biological relief from ladies-of-the-evening,
paid as per agreement, and thay wont cause u any legal trouble
if u remain peaceful and dont try to rob them.
In most jurisdictions that is only a minor offense for the male,
or it remains lawful for him.

David

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@Kayla Marie ,

He asked if you were ok and you said "I guess" so he did not stop. Just because you were at a vulnerable point (according to you) does not mean that you can give consent and then later claim rape. You agreed. He continued. Get over it and as was stated in another reply, don't put yourself in this situation again. Next time someone asks if it is ok to continue, say no if you don't want him to continue. And grow up and take responsibility for your actions when you don't say no.

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I continue to blown away by the number of women who expect men to know their minds after they have refused to express it....it is the old "if you really knew me then you would have known what I want, and I should not have to tell you". it is a bullshit test for men.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

We cannot have a world where everyone is a victim. "I'm this way because my father made me this way. I'm this way because my husband made me this way." Yes, we are indeed formed by tramas that happen to us. But you must take charge, you must take over, you are responsible.

Camille Paglia

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

I continue to blown away by the number of women who expect men to know their minds after they have refused to express it....it is the old "if you really knew me then you would have known what I want, and I should not have to tell you". it is a bullshit test for men.

U get what u pay for;
( or anyway, u r less likely to get what u don t pay for ).

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Is that intended to be a warning for men to not mess with imbecile women who refuse to speak up?

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

That 's not limited to women of low I.Q.
Smart ones can get mad n do it too;
e.g., thay get mad about differences of vacation plans
or handling of money, maybe forgetting a birthday.

If he smiles too ofen at another girl,
then all hell can break loose: grab that fone !

911? Well, 4 nites ago . . .

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@bobsal u1553115,

bobsal u1553115 wrote:

Why are you asking this on a forum? Why not a cop, a minister, a friend, an adult, a doctor, a lawyer, a parent, a sibling, a councilor, a hot-line, a walk in clinic ............ just gotta wonder why you ask me a stranger.......?

It's kind of befuddling to see how many people ask that question here at a2k. You're still relatively new here at able2know. That question is (not popular...) a well traveled road here at a2k. Saying it's been asked dozens and dozens of times since I started here at a2k is downplaying how often it's asked by the possible victims and worse even the alleged perpetrators of said incidents.

1 Reply

@Kayla Marie ,

Kayla Marie wrote:

Is it rape when you fall asleep then a guy who you decide to stay with just for the night, is on top of you and is making out with you, grabbing you, and much more. Then he decides to start taking your clothes off and starts having sex with you. He did ask are you okay with this but I was at a vulnerable point I was a runaway, and I was asleep. And all I said was I don't know and I guess when truly I wasn't wanting to, and I truly felt violated. Then a few hours later he said round two, and I have a hard time saying "no", I always have, so I said I guess again hoping he would get the clue I really didn't want to do it. Is this rape? Should I report it? When it happened this morning?!

We need some clarification regarding your relationship between this guy and you. How old was this person? How old are you? Were you drinking during or before this happened?

Quote:

Then a few hours later he said round two, and I have a hard time saying "no", I always have, so I said I guess again hoping he would get the clue I really didn't want to do it.

What does "I always have" exactly mean? How do you expect someone to read your mind if you aren't too open about your feelings? This makes it a tad too difficult to say if it was rape. Now on the other hand, if you were drunk then circumstances are different.

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@Kayla Marie ,

Kayla Marie wrote:

Is this rape?

It depends on the jurisdiction you're living in. In most, US states, perhaps all, rape is sexual intercourse with someone who hasn't consented to it. Whether two utterances of "I guess" count as consent would be up to the legal precedents in your state. But as OmSigDavid said, the court will decide your case based on what you said, not what you thought, and rape is a crime so the perpetrator gets the benefit of the doubt. With this in mind, I'm rather pessimistic about your prospects in court. This guy is definitely a creep and an arsehole, but I doubt a jury will find him guilty of rape.

Kayla Marie wrote:

Should I report it?

Why not? Worst thing, they throw out your case. Best realistic case, you may just raise enough attention about him to prevent him from doing this to other women. I just wouldn't get my hopes up too high about actually winning. Good luck, whatever you decide!

3 Replies

@Thomas,

The feminists have not yet been successful in making legal consent only based upon the saying of magic words, action can still indicate consent.

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@tsarstepan,

OH? Doesn't smell a bit like a victim looking for help. Smells like a college aged twit ginning up some jollies. A2K isn't exactly in the top tier of social service sources listed anywhere on the planet.

1 Reply

@Thomas,

Kayla Marie wrote:

Should I report it?

Thomas wrote:

Why not?

Its a very vengeance-minded, malicious thing to do,
in consequence of normal, ordinary sex.
I don t mean to bad-mouth vengeance,
but it shud be applied only in retaliation for something bad.
She does not claim that he cut off an arm.
I dont see that there is anything to avenge, in these circumstances,
when he asked n she says: "I guess." Does it have to be notarized??

Thomas wrote:

Worst thing, they throw out your case.

The worst thing is that she ruins the guys life
with a sexual abuse stigma forever, for no reason.
She makes a very POWERFUL CASE for the relative safety
of using ladies-of-the-evening to for tension relief to stay out of prison.

Thomas wrote:

Best realistic case, you may just raise enough attention about him
to prevent him from doing this to other women.

U want him to live in celibacy
enforced by the terror of felony,
even with consent being given.
If I ask a lady: "Do u want a drink?" reply:
"I guess" then I shud take that for a rejection!

I guess that I shud have spent more time studying English.

David

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@bobsal u1553115,

If you think the original poster is a troll, the proper reaction is to ignoreher, not to feed her by giving speeches. If you don't think she's a troll and just don't like the thread, I suggest you ignore the thread. Nobody owes you a reason for asking whatever they want; you can't discourage questions you don't like by chastising the people who ask them.

1 Reply

"i dont like what happened last night" is a common refrain from young women, and there are loads of feminists and "rape culture" profiteers eager to tell these young women that they were raped, that they are victims in need of their services. Under these conditions a young woman asking if she was raped is the most natural thing in the world, it is the opposite of any trolling definition that I have ever heard .

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relationshippro wrote:

Yup.. You should have to report it...

IF she does,
then she shud be deemed a pariah,
as an irrationally dangerous person, very worthy of being avoided.

In other words: guys are not safe around her.

1 Reply

Is this rape?

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