How did tsarstepan evolve?

It's funny( but true) that, up until very recently when I took the time go read his username properly, I would skim down a thread and read his name as tartsypan. It's sort of stuck, if truth be told....and now he'll always be tartsypan to me.

We don't talk about those times.

I've bought two of those on ebay.

No idea.
For the longiest while I thought it was tsartsarpan sort of rhymed with marzipan. After a time I found out he was an ice cream fanatic and knew more about ice cream than a politician knows about corruption and lies. It was later that I realized I could enlarge the font on the computer and then learned his actual screen name.

There is though the unanswered question= Why did he really leave Massachusetts and find a pad in New York? I want the real story, not some trite fictional account. As I wait, perhaps he can tell me who the genius was that developed licorice ice cream.

As to his evol beginnings, that's best kept quiet I am sure.

Dog shat him out.

But I come in a set of 2.5.

He was a regular stepan. Then he got promoted to tsar.

You don't get promoted to Tsar.....we call it "ascending the throne."

Only, when you get there, you're not supposed to **** on it.

I'm confused.

are we talking about handicap accessible toilets now?

In my a2k universe, tsar did not evolve, he was always there.

kinda like pluto.

not quite sure what being a dwarf planet is all about, but he's ok by me...

In the US of A, there's no ascending. A tsar that ascended can **** wherever he wants. But a promoted tsar has to be careful about such things--there's such a thing as demoted.

You're going to demote tsar?

What to? Tsarevitch?

Who? Me? Not in the demoting department.

If he were to be demoted, he could become oilstepan.

If I were to be demoted I'd likely only fall down to RedwinevinegarandoliveoilsaladdressingStepan not to merely OilStepan. That's an unbreakable clause in my contract.

This has nothing to do with salad dressing. Oil as in earl. You people from Mass. don't understand Noo Yawkese.

Ya kayent teech deese peeples nuttin' 'bout howse ta speak proppa Ingdlish much less understand it.