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Essay homework, help !

 
 
Zersixs
 
Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2013 08:00 am
Hi, i want you guys to tell me if my introduction to this essay is good, im writing about organic food, also can you find the thesis in the text? please reply, thanks!

Organic food is food that has been using methods of organic farming, that do not involve pesticides and chemical fertilizers (biotechnology). It is becoming more and more populare all over the world and the market for organic food has grown from nothing all the way to 55 billion$ in 2009. People argue that organic food are not better than conventional food beacuse it costs more and have a risk of particular foodborne illness, but i think that organic food ain’t better than conventional food.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,331 • Replies: 5
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contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2013 08:13 am
Organic food is food that has been using methods of organic farming, that do not involve pesticides and chemical fertilizers (biotechnology). It is becoming more and more populare all over the world and the market for organic food has grown from nothing all the way to 55 billion$ in 2009. People argue that organic food are not better than conventional food beacuse it costs more and have a risk of particular foodborne illness, but i think that organic food ain’t better than conventional food.

You need to look at the things in red. Spelling and verbs mainly. Also...

Was the market in 2009, 55 billion dollars world wide or in one country, or what?

Is your thesis "organic food ain’t better than conventional food"?

Also: The market grew "from nothing" (really?) (when was it "nothing"?) (are you sure about this?)


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dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2013 11:18 am
@Zersixs,
Organic food deriving from farming involving no pesticides nor chemical fertilizers (biotechnology) is becoming more popular throughout the world, the market having grown from virtually nothing to $55 billion by 2009. It's argued that organic is no better than conventional food first because it costs more but mainly owing to risk of illness, (here Zer you have to explain what they are or give an example) e.g., as transmitted by certain insects
Zersixs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Oct, 2013 06:39 am
@dalehileman,
Here is the update on my essay! my teacher want it to be two pages (it's currently one page) long but i can not find much more to write, i know i got the conclusion left... give me advice etc! thanks

Organic Food

Organic food is food that are using methods of organic farming, that do not involve pesticides and chemical fertilizers (biotechnology). It is becoming more and more popular all over the world and the market for organic food has grown alot over the past century, it also seem to taste better. People argue that organic food isn’t better than conventional food because it costs more and have a risk of particular foodborne illness. Is organic food any better than conventional food? Well, i think it is.

The reason is that organic food contains no chemicals, pesticides, herbicides, additives or preservatives. While growing methods for conventional food uses lots of chemicals like pesticides that can leave harmful residues on the crops but not only that, women in the first eight weeks of pregnancy who live near a farm field sprayed with pesticides and endosulfan, are up to seven times more likely to give birth to children with autism.

Some researches has found that organic food also contain up to 25% more nutrient and nutrient is a chemical that the body uses to build and repair tissues which makes it very important and without it an organism would not be able to live and grow. Also, growing organic food is more healthy for the enviroment. But people argue that organic food is grown using manure as fertilizer and manure contains E coli bacteria, which can be deadly when consumed by humans.

Organic food also take alot longer to grow and need to be taken care of all the time, therefore it cost more on the market but not only that, the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) does allow chemicals in certain situations.

Some people say that organic food taste better than conventional food does, but they have not found any difference so far, it can vary depending on weather and soil types.

But i think that organic food still take the cake because when conventional food are using fertilizers in the soil the nitrates from the fertilizer are able to sink into the ground and contaminate the ground water. High levels of nitrates can cause a rise in blood pressure and other dangerous symptoms that we want to avoid.
dalehileman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 6 Oct, 2013 10:31 am
@Zersixs,
Quote:
t... give me advice etc! thanks
Stick with it Zer, I admire your determination to learn our very difficult tongue
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lesliebehall123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Feb, 2014 03:37 am
@Zersixs,
Essay writing is an essential part in student’s life. Majority of academic activities are preparing essays as assignments. Even to get an admission also students have to prepare essays. The personal essay or college essay preparation is a good way to get admission in some colleges. Don't ignore the essay writing recommendations from the lectures side.
Some errors are occurred in your introduction. Try to avoid that.grammar mistakes are there.
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