Disgusting Job

In the first place, it is not selfish to look after one's own interests in the work place. If your manager is ill-tempered, that is abuse. No one should be obliged to suffer the temper tantrums (very likely the childish temper tantrums) of a manager or an employer. It is not selfish on your part to say no to that and look for another job.

NOTE: A very important caveat is not to leave that job until you have another job lined up.

The conference in October is meaningless. Unless you want to attend for your own reasons, such as professional development or contacts within your field, you have no responsibility to attend. So what if reservations were made? If your present manager were to say anything about such a conference when you tell him you leaving, just tell him he should have thought about that when he was abusing you with his bad temper.

If you are being abused, find a better job and leave. Period.

Thank you ,Setanta.You are right, I am really a coward. I hate my manager very much, but I do not have the courage to express my anger to her.At first, I want to learn some professional skills from my manager, but now I do not have the courage to express my anger and leave the company is that I am afraid of her.

Anywaty , Maybe I should be more brave.

Courage does not mean the absence of cowardice, it means the ability to overcome one's cowardice. You owe nothing to your manager, nor, for that matter, to an employer who leaves you in that situation. If you think you are learning valuable things, enough so that it outweighs the misery your managers inflicts, by all means stay there. But if you don't think you are getting much benefit from the job, not enough to make up for the abuse, go somewhere else. Remember, you have to look after yourself, no one else is going to look out for your interests. Get another job, then leave this job.

To add to this, I can say from personal experience that abuse at work can be a lot like a classic abuser's relationship and you can find yourself questioning your own self-worth, and your worth as an employee.

It is not necessarily going to be easy to find other work in your field but it will do you a boatload of mental good to at least begin the process. Get your resume or CV together. Get personal business cards printed up. Put your resume on Monster (and on Dice if you are in a technical field) and join LinkedIn and make your profile clear and detailed. There is nothing wrong with joining LinkedIn for networking and professional development opportunities (it is not a tipoff to your current employer that you are looking, and they should not necessarily take it that way).

These days you can also more or less anonymously look for work by keeping your resume on Monster but using the setting which hides your personal information.

And when you go to that conference, if you haven't found other work by then, take your own personal business cards with you. Do your job but there will likely be opportunities to socialize with other participants. Give them your personal business card, even if you don't think they can help you. You may be surprised at who can help you find other work.

Hang in there. But Setanta's right. You don't have to take it.

Liz I reluctantly have to agree with Set. But do search for a job you might enjoy
…..or if you're like me, at least tolerate

What better place to find a job than at an international exhibition in your field!!

This is a real chance to network.

Look for a job there - but of course, don't let your manager know.

Setanta, thank you for your suggestion. I am a newly graduated student, majoring in english. this is my first job, it seems that I need to reflect my social ability of communication. Because of trust, I told one of my colleagues that I have the intention to quit the job. then tommorrow HR and my manager talked with me about my dimission. It seems every body knew that.

I am very depressed, you know to me it is a kind of betray. I trust her, so I told her my true feeling. Maybe to her, it is just a topic to talk about. Her action really hurt me. Colleague can not become your friend who you can trust.

Anyway, time to leave the job to start a new travel.

Punkey, the international exhibition is held in Dubai, Which is far away from my country.

Dale, which kind of thing makes you feel uncomfortable? You have a unfriendly boss like me?

It's just the idea of being stuck in a job you don't like but worse yet not realizing it

I'm long retired. Most all of my bosses were fine, better than I in most respects. You have my sympathies though of not much help