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Please check this translation in English. A million thanks!

 
 
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2013 11:38 am
The following is the translation I made from Chinese to English. The source language in Chinese is an introduction of a high school history for the anniversary of the foundation of the school. I tried to make it perfect, but i know there must be a lot problematic expressions . Could any native speaker help me with it? Please let me know if there is anything incorrect or hard to understand in your reading. Thank you very much.

Introduction
The year was 1923, named Gyehae in Chinese lunar calendar (meaning the last in a cycle of 3 decades.). In the early 20th century when China was in great peril, people with lofty ideals were seeking all possible means to save the country. Against this backdrop, a new school was opened in concessions in Tianjin, a city about 120 kilometers southeast of the capital city of Beijing, and on the east coast facing the Bohai Sea. From Machang Road, west of the Haihe River, rang the bell of Industry and Commerce College and came the loud voice of students reading books in the preparatory course. Years later, it was transformed into the high school affiliated to the Industry and Commerce College, becoming powerful among secondary schools in Tianjin. The profound quotation “to seek truth from facts” was chosen to be the school motto. Its goal was to learn western science and technology for the use of Chinese modernization and to spread Chinese culture to the west. As a bridge linking China and the outside world, the school took the mission of blending Chinese traditions with western ideas. Great teachers and top students gathered here in their common pursuit of truth and knowledge.
The name of the school was changed seven times in the past. The turning point came when it was taken over by the government of the new China, shedding light upon the road ahead. Since then, unceasing efforts have been made despite rain and wind as a tradition to be passed down. Today a splendid and glorious school is like a rising sun on the horizon. To seize opportunities with motivation and ambitions, it works hard to connect east and west, past and present, embracing the world with an open mind. Innovations are promoted based on the idea of putting people first. As a school with high prestige, it becomes the pride of educational world. Guided by the profound school motto and immersed in the culture of deep thinking, a grand image of the school is taking shape, with its soul shining through the glorious traditions.
In this great time let us write down the extraordinary history and keep more historical relics of the school for future generations. As the glory of Tianjin and a treasure of the nation, the school has set sail to nurture more and more talents for the opening of a new and magnificent chapter in the future!
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 950 • Replies: 10
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2013 11:52 am
@chrisking,
Sorry but for me that passage you include is too lengthy for me to attempt to correct in a line-by-line basis. Perhaps someone else has the time and patience.

For whatever it's worth, I did notice in your A2K profile that you're a professional English teacher, though.

My suggestion would be to re-run the article using a spell program and/or a grammar checker such as found in MS Word. There are several others, some of which are free, that might already be available to you.

Also, you need to break up the text and make more cohesive paragraphs. You're an English teacher so this may not be too hard a task, but I could be wrong.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2013 01:54 pm
@Ragman,
Quote:
too lengthy for me
Yea Chris most of us hate to do someone else's homework

Give me a specific sentence tho
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2013 10:54 pm
@Ragman,
Quote:
My suggestion would be to re-run the article ... using a grammar checker such as found in MS Word.


Bad, bad idea, Ragman. MS Word just repeats all the dumb prescriptions y'all learned in school. The ones that have "not improved American students' grasp of English grammar; [the ones that have]significantly degraded it".
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2013 10:59 pm
@chrisking,
Introduction
The year was 1923, named Gyehae in the Chinese lunar calendar (meaning the last in a cycle of 3 decades.). In the early 20th century when China was in great peril, people with lofty ideals were seeking all possible means to save the country.

Against this backdrop, a new school was opened in concessions in Tianjin, a city about 120 kilometers southeast of the capital city of Beijing, [and] on the east coast facing the Bohai Sea. From Machang Road, west of the Haihe River, rang the bell of Industry and Commerce College and came the loud voice of students reading books in the preparatory course. Years later, it was transformed into the high school affiliated to the Industry and Commerce College, becoming powerful among secondary schools in Tianjin.

The profound quotation “to seek truth from facts” was chosen to be the school motto. Its goal was to learn western science and technology for the use of Chinese modernization and to spread Chinese culture to the west. As a bridge linking China and the outside world, the school took the mission of blending Chinese traditions with western ideas. Great teachers and top students gathered here in their common pursuit of truth and knowledge.

The name of the school was changed seven times in the past. The turning point came when it was taken over by the government of the new China, shedding light upon the road ahead. Since then, unceasing efforts have been made despite rain and wind as a tradition to be passed down. Today a splendid and glorious school is like a rising sun on the horizon. To seize opportunities with motivation and ambitions, it works hard to connect east and west, past and present, embracing the world with an open mind. Innovations are promoted based on the idea of putting people first.

As a school with high prestige, it becomes the pride of the educational world. Guided by the profound school motto and immersed in the culture of deep thinking, a grand image of the school is taking shape, with its soul shining through the glorious traditions.

In this great time let us write down the extraordinary history and keep more historical relics of the school for future generations. As the glory of Tianjin and a treasure of the nation, the school has set sail to nurture more and more talents for the opening of a new and magnificent chapter in the future!

That's pretty damn good, Chris!
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Jul, 2013 10:35 am
@JTT,
Wow JTT I'm impressed in all respects
0 Replies
 
productiveinsomniac
 
  0  
Reply Fri 19 Jul, 2013 01:36 pm
im also amazed, I was under the impression that Chinese wasn't a language its a people.. these are the languages to my knowledge: Min the least used language found in the Fujian area, then Wu Chinese, barley spoken in the US, people who speak it come from the Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai areas. then they have 10% of the US Chinese populous speaking Mandarin Chinese which comes from mainland China and Taiwan. then they have the most spoken language of the Chinese people, Cantonese and is the third most-spoken language in the United States as of 2010. what language where you trying to translate. I wouldn't be surprised that a converter would have problems doing this due to slang and several tounges mixed in one note.
0 Replies
 
chrisking
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Jul, 2013 05:08 am
@JTT,
I have to say your version is much more organised and cohesive than mine, and it's much more like a standard English essay. That's exactly the help I was looking forward to. Thanks for you patience! You are great!
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Sat 20 Jul, 2013 10:06 am
@chrisking,
Quote:
Thanks for you patience! You are great!
Agree, we should have more JTT's
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Jul, 2013 06:20 pm
@chrisking,
I just kind of broke it up into smaller slices, [paragraphs], Chris, and added a few articles. As I said, it was very good.

I'm not suggesting that my chosen paragraph breaks are the best choices.
chrisking
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Jul, 2013 01:50 am
@JTT,
Your suggestion is quite necessary. The small change makes the translation much better than the previous one.
0 Replies
 
 

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