Grooming problems of the mythical

Nice one, colorbook. So what Styx song should we use for that underworld segment? The band is selling their songs cheap now.

I think it could be a toss up between Show Me the Way and Come Sail Away

Noddy & Cav -- The slightly used virgins are leftovers from the latest of Bacchus's feasts. He gets all his girls from Venus's House of Virgins. We have a contract. (It's quite a lucrative arrangement.) But currently, I am overstocked...hence the Half-Off Sale.

Just got off the shell-phone (yuk yuk) with Bacchus. He wants to cut a deal. He'll allow you to film his upcoming party for half the profits on the advertising during commercials. Okay, 35%. He suggests titling the prime-time special, "Lifestyles of the Rich and Immortal" or, if that one is taken, perhaps "Survivor: Orgy of Dreams."

What do you say?

Eva, it's my thread, and therefore my legal intellectual property, so I go for "Lifestyles".

Hee, hee, Eva...Shell phone..love it, but the song should definitely have a cowboy flavor:


D Dsus4 D7 G Em7 D
There is a river called the river of no return;

D F#m7 Bm Bm7 G Em7 G/B A7
Sometimes it's peaceful, and sometimes wild and free!

D Dsus4 D7 G Em7 D
Love is a trav'ler on the river of no return,

D F#m7 Bm Bm7 A7 Em7 A7 D
Swept on forever to be lost in a stor - my sea.



Bridge:


A7 D F#m Em7 A7 D
Wail-a-ree I can hear the river call (no return, no return)

A7 G Em7 D
Where the roarin' waters fall,

A7 D F#m Bm7 Bm7/E E7 A7
Wail-a-ree I can hear my lover call, "Come to me"



A7 G A7 D Dsus4 D7 G Em7 D
I lost my love on the river, and forever my heart will yearn;

D F#m7 Bm Bm7 Em7 G/B A7 D
Gone, gone forever down the river of no re - turn.

A7 D Dmaj7 Bm Bm7 Bm7/E
Wail-a-ree wail-a-ree

G G/F# Em7 A7 D D D6 D D D6 D D D6 D
You'll never re - turn to me!

Them white horses of Neptune sometimes styx in yer craw.

and for all the Aussies--Orpheus and the Underworld.

Good night fun people.

From Florida

Eva--

Thirty-five percent? Does that old letcher realize the cost of filming an outdoor orgy by torchlight? We'll supply the wine and the honey. Offer 10% of the ad revenue.

P.S. This will not be suitable for "family" time.

You guys a great! I wish I knew more about greek mythology than what I learned on "Xena: The Warrior Princess" and "Sinbad".

Hera is reading scripts, I hear, for the spinoff Xena series 'Hera, Warrior Goddess.'

I think Hera was in some of the episodes.

Aha, here is the queen of the gods...

Cav, littlek--

Hera, warrior goddess? That would be like Martha Stuart, black belt marine commando.

Athena is the goddess of battle.

Hera devotes herself to protecting women and the institution of marriage. Incidently, she has no objection to same-sex marriage--just to adultery and betrayal.

Noddy, I just talked to Bacchus. No deal. He says he's got to have at least 30%, bottom line. He has to pay for the virgins and the nymphs even if the satyrs will work for free. And then there is the big cleaning service bill afterward. (And of course, my cut for setting this up is the usual 15%.) By the way, thanks for the offer, but there is no need to supply wine...Bacchus is, after all, the god of wine. He has more than enough in storage to last for one measly episode. Or...were you thinking a series??

Listen, bubbula, I represent Bacchus here, after all, I have three portraits of him in my kitchen. I claim my 10% just for you to talk with him. Plus, we need to kick in for the Caravaggio trust...

How about some gorgonzola with that wine in honor of Ms. Snakeylocks?

Portraits do not a contract make, osso. I'm talking to Bacchus first-hand. If you wanna sue, you'll have to take it to...take it to....

Hmmm. Who's the lawyer of the gods? I forget. Usually I just curse people who try to horn in on my profits. Don't try my patience.

Profits, I am not after money!! Bacchus is my pal! I must watch out for him amidst the moneymakers. Uh, you're not a moneymaker, are you?

In the meantime, consider some pizza with mozzarella, walnuts, and a wee bit of gorgonola, goldilocks....

Almost everything we have from Greek mythology is what was written down by a Thessalian shepherd who didn't happen to think much of the Greeks. His is the only complete, coherent narrative--everything addtional to his is by accretion, from quite a few fragmentary sources.

Look up Edith Hamilton, both for her mythology and for The Greek Way. They are brief, concise and very reliable books, easily read because written in a plain, lucid English. Many of the stories about the dogs and dogesses come from Ovid, The Metamorphoses. I have remembered the story of Arachne (mother of all spiders) since i first read it as a small boy. A good deal of Ovid was then over my head, and a lot outside the compass of my knowledge of life at the time, but i've read it as an adult, and found it most entertaining.

If you read nothing else of it, Lil' Kay, i think you would greatly enjoy Miss Hamilton's mythology.

On a similar note, the best complete account of Norse mythology comes from an Icelandic skald (poet, bard, history speaker) from (if i recall correctly) the 13th century--Snorri Sturleson. (Might have misspelled the last name, as well, but it shouldn't be hard to find on-line.)

I remember reading Hamilton in school, Set. Don't know what happened to my copy. Now I rely mostly on Bulfinch.

A slice of pizza would be heavenly, osso. Don't mind if I do. I never used to have to worry about money before, you know. But with the downturn in the economy and all, well...the cost of living on Olympus is sky high. And a girl does like a bit of pampering now and then. And now. And then. And...

Goldsmith also wrote an excellent mythology, Boss. He did not, however, eat pizza--it was so hard to find any in London those days without pepperoni, which gave him murderous heartburn.

Will all these shows be filmed on-site at the Parthenon or will a set be used in Hollywood? Are the metro sexuals, queer eyed guys, hair dressers and lesser gods and goddesses all members of a union? Will Mercury get credit as a gofer? Or a gaffer?

Thank for the recommendations on books, Set. My memory is much too faulty.

Cav, this is great fun.

Hmm, I have at least one Edith Hamilton in my stash, sigh, if I ever distribute my stash on shelves... but I admit to not having read it, yet.

Well, shall we let Bacchus bring the vino, and for those who don't imbibe, the grapes and the the waters and the gelato?

What was the question again?