Grooming problems of the mythical

The pigeon must have landed on Medusa first. That is a stone pigeon, cav. I know. I've been watching it for the last ten minutes, and it hasn't moved.

Oh, I figured it was stone, Eva. Stone guano is extremely hard to pass for a small bird, so the reason it hasn't moved is because it's concentrating very intensely on it's business.

Maybe it's a kidney stone..

Greek heroes tend to be brazen--and deserve to be bronzed just like baby shoes.

Didn't one of the sponsors endow Perseus with the Cap of Swiftness? After all if any old demi-god can sport winged sandals it makes Mercury look as though he shops at the Celestial K-Mart.

Book marking with a narcissus. He deserved to be a daffodil for what he did to echo.

Yes, I think the purported pigeon is a swiftwing myself.

Letty--

Echo loved well--but not wisely.

Narcissus was the sonof a rivergod (Cephisus) and a nymph (Leirilope). Undoubtedly he was raised by a flighty single mother--nymphs are not noted for common sense--seeing his father only on special occasions.

As for Echo, very woman on that mountainside--and a goodly number of Echo's girlfriends-- warned her that the object of her adoration was well-rooted in clay, but like millions of other passionate teenagers, Echo ignored good advice and Followed Her Heart. and refused breakfast, lunch and dinner for three days to impress Narcissus with her devotion.

Of course he never noticed and Echo having weakened her immune system caught a cold which turned into pneumonia.

Unfortunately a minstrel (male) visited the village and turned Echo's story into a tear-jerking ballad. Aphrodite was annoyed by his behavior, but infuriated when Dying of Devotion hit the charts at the next Olympic festival and inspired young, impressionable nitwits all over Greece.

Hence Aphrodite's curse.

I think hera needs more appreciation. She was always the downtrodden housewife, cheated on, always looking out for others. Maybe a confrontation with Zeus on one of those morning talk shows, followed by a day at the spa and fabulous makeover! They can do her hair - a!
yuk yuk.

he he, Noddy: and in the spirit of the reverberating lass:

Little sir echo how do you do.
Hello
(((hello)))
Hello
(((hello)))


Little sir echo I'm feeling blue.
Hello
(((hello)))

Hello.

Hello
(((hello)))
Hello
(((hello)))
Won't you come over and play?
You're a nice little fellow I know it's true,
But you're always so far away.

That song may not have made the charts,
But is sure as hell orbited the earth.

Letty--

Perhaps "Little Sir Echo" is Aphrodite's curse on the minstrel?

I understand that elementary school students don't sing anymore, but I'm sure that every time day care/daycamp/scouting groups sing "Little Sir Echo" that the minstrel hears the twanging of breaking lute strings.

Portal Star--

I like your plans for Hera. As a sweet and innocent lass, I found Hera a Figure of Fun and a Rip-Roaring Bitch. After a few months of marriage to a man with an Olympian Ego, I could identify with Hera.

Don't let Zeus muscle in on her air time. Pack the audience with a live audience of NOW members (mostly with a sense of humor, but a few strident ones) and Raise Her Consciousness.

Can't you just hear the "You go, Girlfriend!" cheers?

I think that Theseus and the Minotaur are great contenders for a spot on FOX's next 'Man vs. Beast' special. The twist would be that instead of a mythic fight to the death, it would be a a contest to see who can eat the most hot dogs in one minute! Now that's pure American entertainment with an ethnic edge, I think.

Cav--

You are the culinary expert, but would you consider substituting blueberry pie for the hot dogs? Blueberry pie would accent the beast in the man and the man in the beast. Blueberry pie would also eliminate any Freudian Symbols, so the contest could air in prime time.

Eva--

Are these slightly used virgins, Aphrodite's "soiled doves"? Is one of them perching on Perseus?

"Slightly used virgins", like those "barely legal" porn videos where the "actresses" are clearly over 30. Now is that dove soiled, or is it just Peresus' coif? Doves are pigeons after all, and birds don't know how to wipe. I also think that blueberry pie would be great, Noddy, but it must be wild blueberries. To get good ratings, everything these days has to be wild, or "to the extreme!"

Cav--

Wouldn't organic blueberries seeded from wild stock do? If the minotaur thinks that native plants are being threatened, he might start chomping on the judges--or even the audience.

The audience might sue.

Provided the audience signs the usual forms releasing the TV company from any liability, let the chomping begin.

Good thread, Cav. Don't you let any Delilah's get near that head of yours. You need all the strength you can get.

Now here's a suggestion. We could let Pegasus have his wings tipped with neon pink so that he can be spotted at night.

I'm keeping my hair Letty, even after I get it trimmed a bit next week.

The Pegasus comment is a good one Letty. I was thinking of another pitch: Celbebrity Mythical Pets. Pink-dyed Griffons, waxed Chimeras....I think it would be a hit.

Right, Cav. And Odysseus' dog Argos could be tie-dyed to match his eyes.

Sheeze, I gotta get "Kraken"...before Poseidon blows his conch. Later, folks

Today on Mythology Makeovers:

While everyone is having a hell of a time fixing Persephone hair, she discusses in detail her wild escapades on the River Styx; Medusa is given a little hair relaxer, while a stylist cuts and shapes her comatose locks; Aphrodite promotes her famous heavenly perfume: Elysian Fields; Echidna gets her tentacles manicured, buffed and layered with the latest nail polish, which brings out the real woman in her; and Pandora will reveal what is inside the box she brought with her today.