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Six year old boy exploring sexuality?

 
 
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 08:53 pm
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and recently moved in with him and his six year old son. I have a great relationship with both. The son's mother is nonexistent in his life and he and I have a good friendship building.
After I moved in, I caught the son graphically humping his body pillow. He was moaning loudly and saying adult things to it as he did it. He was very embarrassed when I walked in and found him. Now I've caught him four times in three days. I brought this to his fathers attention and he told me it's normal for kids his age to explore things sexually. But he seems to HAVE to be fully nude to do it and the moaning and inappropriate dirty talk really worries me. I'm worried someone is hurting this kid but I have no way to be sure. When I gently bring it up to the son he completely shuts down but his father refuses to
acknowledge it.
Should I be worried or is this something all kids truly go through!
 
boomerang
 
  5  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 08:58 pm
@TheGirlfriend,
Playing with his penis is normal sexual exploration for a kid his age, humping his pillow even could be.

But the dirty talk and moaning? It sounds like he has a better understanding of what sex looks like and sounds like than he should.

I think you're right to be worried about this.
gungasnake
 
  0  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 09:04 pm
@TheGirlfriend,
Move out and notify child protective services.
TheGirlfriend
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 09:17 pm
@boomerang,
He's never walked in on us doing anything because we don't do anything like that while he's home (it personally weirds me out). I can't say about his fathers previous relationships though. There is no cable or computer access for the son. So yes, the more I think of it, the worse I fear.
0 Replies
 
TheGirlfriend
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 09:18 pm
@gungasnake,
Can one make a tip to child services anonymously?
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 09:22 pm
@gungasnake,
gungasnake wrote:

Move out and notify child protective services.
That 'd destroy the family.
She was not invited in for THAT.
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Sun 5 May, 2013 09:29 pm
@TheGirlfriend,
Parafrasing the medical philosophy (filosofy):
at least DO NO HARM.





David
gungasnake
 
  0  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 06:43 am
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
That 'd destroy the family.
She was not invited in for THAT.


This one is going to end up with some six or seven-year-old girl getting raped or killed. Worrying about the "family" is a misplaced concern.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 07:07 am
@OmSigDAVID,
Leaving a kid in an abusive situation is my definition of doing harm. I agree that calling CPS is the right thing to do.

0 Replies
 
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 07:10 am
@TheGirlfriend,
I'd assume that you could, but the idea is to get out first. Make sure YOU're safe and then worry about the kid.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 07:21 am
@gungasnake,
gungasnake wrote:

Quote:
That 'd destroy the family.
She was not invited in for THAT.


This one is going to end up with some six or seven-year-old girl getting raped or killed.
Worrying about the "family" is a misplaced concern.
That makes no sense. The boy is within his rights
to hump his pillow in private; maybe he saw some porn somewhere.
His only complaint was a stranger (guest) sneaking up on him
and intruding on his privacy. Government invasion is a very bad answer; bad news.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 07:33 am
@OmSigDAVID,
A six year old boy has the right to be safe. And, a six year old boy has no ability to protect himself. Sexual abuse is harmful enough that adults have the responsibility to step in when they see it.

The question is whether the poster has seen enough evidence to warrant her intervention. She apparently believe she has, and little kids acting using knowledge that most little kids don't have is a sign of sexual abuse.

If this boy is a victim of abuse, then stepping in to stop it is the right thing to do.

PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 07:49 am
Who's taking care of this boy when dad is working?

Backtrack to see who is influencing/ spending time with this child.

It is normal for a 6 year old to be in the butt, ,pee-pee, pooh pooh stage and notice girls, and even masturbate - but humping and verbalizing sexual activity means that he is being exposed to that scene. That takes it to another level. And he is not mature enough to keep this under control, so girls may be in danger of his inappropriate behavior.

The father is wrong to dismiss this. Ask a counselor or another adult about this ASAP.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 08:17 am
@maxdancona,
U think that he is unique
in pleasuring himself in the privacy (ex-privacy) of his bedroom ?

I have made it a lifelong practice to be EQUALLY respectful of adults n kids.
Inviting the intrusion of government is like throwing a bom in his window
and then smiling in self satisfaction; u can't take back either.
There is no evidence that anyone has done anything TO the boy.
Government has no jurisdiction to dissuade the boy from pleasuring himself.
Agreed that everyone has the right to be safe (self defense).


The boy can use the fone, if he chooses.
A decent guest will respect his hosts' privacy.
gungasnake
 
  0  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 11:03 am
@OmSigDAVID,
I generally share your abhorrence of government agencies like CPS.

Again in this case, if no sort of intervention takes place, the story will almost certainly end badly. Is there somebody or something else the lady could call?
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 11:15 am
@gungasnake,
Yes; can discuss it at greater length with the self-pleasurer,
risking discourteous rebuff, in defense of his privacy, e.g.:
"O, yea?? Tell me about YOUR sex-life! How do U like it?"
The rudeness is applied in vindication of his personal privacy.

There has been NO evidence posted that he was a victim of ANYTHING,
except a guest spying on him.

Y do u expect a bad end to his story (assuming nosey guest makes no trouble) ?




David
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 11:17 am
The OP doesn't sound like some puritanical hand wringer upset over a kid in her care masturbating, or even playing "doctor" with a neighbor kid.

This really goes beyond that.

The fact that the father thinks this behavior is normal is troubling.

Exposure to pornography is one way that adults groom children to be accepting of future abuse. Of course, we don't know that this type of thing has happened but I think it's clear that this kid knows more about sex than he should at 6 years old.

It's questions like this that really make me miss dyslexia and wish dlowan came around a bit more often. Those two always knew/know the best course of action in such situations.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 11:24 am
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
I think it's clear that this kid knows more about sex than he should at 6 years old.
He has as much right to information as anyone else.
He has no duty to confide in anyone.

If I had been in that situation, as a kid,
I'd have defended my liberty.



David
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 12:30 pm
@boomerang,
What would be your first impulse as to something to do in this situation?
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2013 02:21 pm
@gungasnake,
My situation is so different from the OP's....

Mr. B would be just as alarmed as I would be so there wouldn't be that rift to cross -- and that's a big rift. Plus, we're not new people in Mo's life that really don't have much authority. It would be much easier to handle from where I'm sitting than where the OP is. If I were in her shoes I'd be completely freaking out.

But if I'd walked in on Mo at six while he was reenacting an explicit sex scene I'd be very upfront and talk to him about it -- where he'd seen such behavior, what he thought it meant, etc. I'd tell him he wasn't in trouble but that I'm concerned about where the behavior came from.
 

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