appeal letter to return to school

Dear school,
I would dearly love to return, if you'll have me. Even though I am now well past seventy, I am fully prepared to wear short trousers again and promise to eat all of my greens at lunchtime.
I also promise never to pick on Smelly Harris from 4b.

Yours etc etc.

If I was superintendent of that school, I'd let you return as a student Lordyaswas. What an eloquent letter! Though we wouldn't hold you to your Smelly Harris promise. He really is quite smelly.

That was a great answer, wasn't it?

G'day Lordy

Good answer to a vague question!